Now Before I start , this is a trip report from one of my best buddies. I had shared my limited amount of experience and DMT with him prior to any of this, but it just goes to show that mindset, setting, technique, and commitment to the genuine experience can make or break any trans-dimensional gallivant.
I use the term overdose lightly, but I do feel his dose was waaay over the top.
What he wrote for me follows...
RAW: Fear is Not Knowing
My first time smoking DMT was hardly anything to brag about... My friend was raving about these vivid hallucinations he had witnessed after smoking a bowl of herb lightly frosted with some spirits. The look in his eyes and excitement in his voice had me hooked, I had to try it........
Problem was that there wasn't any left, and no source in sight to obtain any. All that was left was a cashed pipe bowl that could have had some residue in it.... you're damn rights I gave it a shot. The flame hit and I pulled until the cherry died, I felt light headed and could feel a force come over me. I shut my eyes peacefully and let the show start. The visuals were as I expected, flower of life like fractals, bright colours, but it only lasted 2 - 3 minutes before it all disapeared. Clearly I did not have nearly a strong enough dose. I remember arguing with what seemed to be my conscious, trying not to react naturally and fight it, just let it take over, but to no avail.
The ultimate cliff hanger, I would go to sleep wondering what it or who or where I was.. if that makes sense. It would be months before I got my hands on a usable amount..
After my trial dose I did my fair share of reading and listening to Terrence McKenna interviews. It didnt consume my life or anything but lets just say I did more research on DMT than I did with any other substance I have tried. A couple months went by until I finally got my hands on some, but eventually some friends and I got a gram of pure crystalline DMT. Don't be alarmed, we were planning on letting this last. Junior Shamans if you will (lol)...
Looking back with hindsight I probably wasn't anywhere close to the frame of mind to be toying with something so powerful. I'm not going to get into it but between a house I lost my shirt on, problems with the wife and work, and a wack load of debt and unfolding lies from a business partner, I should have probably meditated or at least tried some yoga and prepared my mind.
What a noob..
Our method to our madness was your standard glass hash pipe with a shotgun. We packed a bowl with some of the finest sticky and served up 100 mg hits on top. We would lightly tap the lighter to the dust trying not to torch it, as it melted over top resembling hot icing on a fresh cinnamon bun we would bring the lighter ever so closer until we had our bowl nice and cherried. We were all getting pretty decent hits but nobody seemed to be having a breakthrough trip cause..well frankly... YOU WOULD KNOW.
****( Note: I should interject with that fact that our pipe was WAAY too small to be loading 100mg hits. We arrived on this number based on our trips through that specific pipe and our experiences. In reality we were probably only dosing 20-60mg the rest soaking into the ganja or running to the bottom. I've modified my technique quite a bit since this weekend)*****
My first hit with the new batch was horrible, not in a scary way, I was more so confused and dissapointed. My high lasted about 5 - 7 minutes and it was very dark, I was not frightened. I actually remember speaking aloud and saying something along the lines of "who are you" or "why is this so demonic?" Cartoon-esque jesters and devils tied into a bunch of fractals, I felt like I was being watched, similar to what you read about people coming into encounters with "shadow people." I was never scared though, more so confused as to why I was experiencing this. Was it in direct corellation with all the negativity in my life at the time? Probably.. who knows.
I knew that DMT was not a recreational drug, it was meant for self help, epiphanys.. think ayahuasca. But I wanted to do it again, one day later. I wanted to beat it. I served myself up another 100 mg dose on the same bowl, the same nug... (remember this, its important) I will also add that there was about 5 of us in a hippy circle all trying it. I seemed to be the only one having these dark unenjoyable trips. So this same nug probably had close to 3/4 of a gram draped overtop of it.
(LOL reading as a type I am laughing, how inexperienced and foolish we were, especially me)
Again my dose the next day just didnt cut it, no breakthrough, the same dark images, nothing really enjoyable... NO FEAR though, I have had bad trips on mushrooms before where I literally thought I was going to die and I was so far gone in my high that I wasn't able to convince myself that "its just the drugs." I never had this on DMT, I was in full control and since I was in full control, I wanted an enjoyable high. This time it lasted quite a bit longer though, I decided to keep my eyes open instead of being disapointed again with more closed eye visuals. I laid back in the lay-z-boy up at the plaster texture on the vaulted ceiling of my friends living room and the clouds parted and the heavens opened up. It reminded me of the ceiling of a roman style theatre, wildlife paintings and a cutting board in the kitchen with a buck graphic on it came to life. I got it..
The darkness of having my eyes closed was just that, DARK. I was loving DMT with my eyes open. My friends and I still had no idea what we were getting into, especially me. 2nd day in a row another hippie circle has formed, 20 - 30 mg hits being served up this time, lasting 2- 3 minutes, passing the pipe around like a joint we would explain to each other what we were seeing manipulating each others experience. Before you knew it we were all in the same place, it was quite surreal. Our method was quite wasteful looking back, we weren't using the proper pipe, but it was the recipe for something unexpected and well, potentially dangerous.
I really enjoyed the smaller doses, being able to talk, still having my breath. Not intense at all like the 100 mg doses, which probably weren't anywhere close to a true 100 mg dose because as I said before, our method was very wasteful. All the while I knew I should take a break, because as I have said probably 3 - 4 times in this report, it's not something you do recreationally, like I had been.
Well the very next day.. yes thats right, 3 nights in a row, toying with the abyss... I decided to inch ever so slowly to breakthrough, thought that maybe if I gradually test the waters I could control the dark thoughts and demonic visuals. This time I didnt even serve up a hit, I decided to scrape the pipe that 4 - 5 guys had been using all weekend. The same bowl that had not been replaced, that had barely been lit to be honest, because we were worried about torching the DMT. After giving the bowl a stir with my car keys I unfolded some green herb. Hadn't even been torched in all the times it had been used in that 3 day span. Just soaking close to a gram of DMT up like a sponge.... OR as I said before.. the cinnamon bun from hell.
Fear is not knowing, I was not scared before because I knew I was dishing out fairly large hits, I was trying to breakthrough but I couldn't. Well on this third night I had no idea where I was going, or where I went, but I know I never want to go back.
I wasn't hesitant with the lighter this time, I filled my entire lung capacity with one of the largest tokes I have probably ever inhaled out of a pipe. It might as well have been a bong hit. I torched that bowl for I didnt realize how saturated it was, I will never know the true weight of that dose because I have no idea how much residual was left behind from the combination of 5 guys, 3 days, close to a gram of DMT and a wack load of inexperience. Before I even exhaled I could feel what I like to call the dimensional blanket. My body was tingling, my ears were ringing, my friend TT604 was sitting across from me, eyes black, droopy looking, as if they were bleeding (exorcism of emily rose anyone?) he looked at me, horns growing out of his head, it was as if my mind was perceiving him as satan because he was the first person to introduce me to this. He told me afterwards he could see it in my eyes that I was gone so he thought he would give me some privacy, he shut the door of the room, looking ever so demonic, as if he was locking the door and throwing away the key. He swears to this day he was not messing with me. He respects the hallucinations for he has had a breakthrough before as well and it was all my mind and these dark perceptions. I laid back into the bed I was sitting on when i took the hit and the darkness was back (of course) I did not like what I was seeing. I was so confused and scared, I didnt even serve up a hit, I just scraped the pipe, wtf is going on?? My hearts in my chest, I am having the ultimate anxiety attack and I just keep remembering everything I have read, you can not overdose, you are just trippin' out! Its just the drugs!!! Oh boy was I ever coaching myself. I eventually came to grips that I had finally taken a breakthrough dose, this is what I wanted.. Right?
Ya right... FFF*** that...
Not like this!! Eyes glued shut, I couldn't open them, jesters, an entity which resembled Raiden from Mortal Kombat hovering above me, electric shocks arcing from him or IT to me. I could feel the life being sucked out of me. I think I might have even screamed out loud in fear. Then my conscience kicks in, "change it" it screamed!!! OPEN YOUR EYES!!!
Remember from my previous experiences I quite liked the open eye visuals as opposed to the closed eye. I opened my eyes (which was very hard to do in the state I was in) and I didnt recognize where I was. I didnt even feel like myself. I could see myself in the third person. Complete out of body experience for a split second. Then back to first person. It was as if I was a character in a video game and whoever was controlling me was messing with the camera angles, from birds eye view, to third person straight in front (grand theft auto style) to right back in my body first person view. Again with the video game theme, everything was three dimensional but with no depth, flat 3d, the best way I can describe this is the animation in the playstation game Parappa the Rappa. I remember looking at my hands, my feet, thank god I wasn't near a mirror. I was literally pixelated, I was wearing blue jeans and a red hoodie/jacket that day. The colour scheme made me feel like Super Mario. I'm not even much of a gamer, but it was very prominent in my trip. I have no idea how much time has past by, so I decide to look at my phone. I cant find it! All thats in my pocket is this giant brick... wait a second. I empty out my pockets, I pull out my keys, my iphone and my wallet. Nothing looked as it felt. It's like my senses were scrambled. Nothing made sense. Nothing was dying down either, it kept intensifying. I decide to unlock my phone screen and I didnt recognize anything. My background was different, there was no apps, but I knew it was my phone. From the familiarity of where my apps are present on my screen I manage to get to the touchpad and dial my friend TT604 who was in the same building as me, who was just in the room transforming into lucifer before my very eyes. I dont know why I decided to call him, I could have just gone for a walk to look for him but I wasnt where I was. I actually managed to connect the phone call in my state of mind, only to get his voicemail. I dont know why I called him, maybe I just wanted the comfort of someone who knew the drug better than myself. Every time I look down at the phone and then look up again, my surroundings would change. It was like I was hitting the reset button. White wood grain print walls, similar to wainscotting are fluorescent pink, the ground im standing on ripples like water with every step I take. Am I walking on water???? Nothing is what it seems, my memory and familiarity of the layout of the building I am in is BY FAR my strongest sense for navigation. I look up at the shelf across the room and see a hooka and a bag from the local head shop that had some shisha and some rolling papers in it. RAW rolling papers was the logo on the bag.
That bag would be the defining moment of my trip, the.. (for lack of a better terminology) HOLY $*** FACTOR!!!!!
No other way to explain it really...
I looked up at that bag and the Times New Roman style red BOLD letters all seemed to have eyes, and stick figure-esque arms and legs. They were making noises.. (Did I just refer to 3 letters as "they?"
... Charlie Brown type noises, inaudibles. The three of them in a synchronized swimming like fashion jumped off the bag and ran along the top of the shelf, jumping off all 3 one at a time into the pool I was standing on. Rippling deep into the water never to be seen again... I looked back at the beige bag, which was now flat beige, no logo, no graphic. What the hell. I gotta get out of this room. Once again navigating by familiarity, I am still lost. I can tell it is slowly wearing off though because slowly I start to recognize where I am, visuals are still very distorted but not completely unfamiliar. I was in an unfinished basement/workshop area, exposed studs, insulation, poly, red tuck tape on the walls. The tuck tape seams apear to be red snakes with little devil heads lashing out at me. The darkness is now present whether my eyes are open or closed. I don't feel safe, will this ever wear off? I actually began to think that although it had started to become slightly less intense that it was going to stay like this forever.
Finally I run into TT604, thank god! He says I looked white as a ghost, I follow him into the garage and sit down on a chair at the work bench and explain to him what I am seeing. He can tell I am having a bad trip and tries to console me. Coaching me along, assuring me that it will all be over soon. The OSB sheathing on the walls resembles the hills have eyes, the texture of the wood chips gives the walls a never ending layered look, the more I describe it to the people around me the faster it wears off. At this point there is tears in my eyes, I have been defeated, almost instantly my world comes back. Its as if I never left, no build up, no come down. No variable speed, like a corded drill, one gear!
I think Charlie Sheen said it once, he only has one speed! GO! DMT is Tiger blood, and I am sorry for disrespecting you.
Never Again, until next time
-Frazert
So there she is. In hindsight I should have stayed with him throughout the whole trip but based on his prior two or three trips it seemed as if I was only a distraction. He would open his eyes and begin talking with me completely distracting himself. When he picked up the pipe and started scraping and flipping over that bud, I really didn't expect that to happen. But it just reiterates the fact that we need to have a sound mind and a full understanding of what approaches. With such a powerful and complex substance any little variable can run off and define you whole experience and your entire view on life.
If anyone has some feedback on state of mind or preparation we could really use the advice. We have since altered our device and method. 25mg is a great starting point too. Frazert had a lot of dark and evil looking imagery, but to be honest we've been discussing demons, entities, shadow people and other topics a lot lately. Is the sub conscious bleeding into reality? I typically meditate and smudge my area and prefer the calm yoga massage paced music for my trips.
Thank you Hugely DMT NEXUS! you guys really are the authority.
Tonytone is a fictional conglomerate of everyones hopes, dreams, and nightmares. Everything he says is a lie.