Hi all,

Just got out of an intense DMT experience that I would like to share with you and get your opinion about.

I've done DMT before, about a year ago now. That one was amazing, I was in a different dimension and felt love, a great overall experience.

About an hour ago, I did it the second time. I loaded 'the machine' with about 30 mg and took a hit. I was in my bedroom, and I saw the room illuminate within seconds. I laid back and closes my eyes, and then it began.

I felt like my body was in shock. There were no closed eyes visuals I can remember. It was as if I had been crying for a long time. Then, the feeling of 'dying' came over me. Now when I say dying, I mean no physical pain or anything, just my body and consciousness 'giving up', letting go and becoming totally still, dissolving in a repetitive fractal for all eternity (I try my best to explain it, the actual experience was much more complicated, beyond words). It was as if I had died in another dimension, and the DMT brought me in contact with that dimension and made my body 'remember' that I died. After a while, I came back to my self again, realised everything was okay, and I was back in the familiar dimension again and tried to make sense of it all, which of course I couldn't. On the one hand, I was so happy to be alive, it certainly makes you appreciate life! But on the other hand, why did this happen?

My previous DMT trip was so wonderful, what happened? I had similar experiences like this on Mushrooms (a double dose), and more recently even with 2CB (one and a half 18mg pill), it's like I remember dying every time I trip now. I did LSD a couple of weeks ago, and that was great though, really positive experience.

I really have no idea what to make of this. Does anyone of you had a similar feeling or experience?

very interesting read gibran and live

But I have a question to you guys (and to others who had similar experiences of I must have definitely died type)

Why did you think this ? Did the trip take so much time ? I understand the subjectivity of time is hard to tell and the clock impossible to read, but still how long would you guys estimate that had passed in your head ? Did you feel like stuck for an hour/day/week ?

Did you have one or more endless loops and couldnt focus so it made you assume death ?

Because I didnt breakthrough and this is what I am mostly scared of.

Can't your rational mind/ego tell you during the experience: "hey it's ok I took x y z and in a short while (well I just have to wait an hour maybe ....it will pass... its made to pass ...it will pass.... every minute now effects will diminish ..." ...this is what I really mostly need to know.

thanks for helping and sharing

Gibran2, have your read my post (2 up)? I would like to know your thoughts about it. I've had the exact same feeling on mushrooms and 2cb before. Whichever psychedelic journey I take, it seems that most of the time it shows me my own death. On another forum there was a suggestion that this is quite normal but normally you'd get 'reborn', and that maybe I'm blocking that.

I'm keeping my eyes peeled for part 2. I recall some of Rick Strassman's volunteer believing that they had died (one of whom was a doctor himself) during the trip, so maybe it's not all that unusual (you just need a big enough dose).

I may be jumping the gun here, but if we say for argument's sake that this was a true NDE (at least in the sense of subjectively experiencing the hereafter, rather than being actually close to death from a heart attack etc), why did you not encounter those who had already passed over? I only say this because it appears to be a common theme in NDEs.

I hate the idea of there being a life after this one, but one utterly bereft of the beings that I have loved so much during this existence. I think I'd rather there be nothing at all, rather than have to live for eternity and never see them again.

I’ve had a number of experiences where I experienced a very explicit ego death. One time I was literally crushed out of existence. A very challenging experience.

Other times I’ve lost my identity to one degree or another. Some people might describe experiences of these sorts to be death-like.

But in the experience referenced in this post, my ego/sense of self was fully intact. I was totally disconnected from my body, so I couldn’t make any objective assessment of its condition. As I said, due to the unique nature of the experience, it was easy to assume I had died – I had gone too far and wasn’t coming back.

There also was what I suppose you could call a rebirth – I had to “go back to sleep” and dream myself back into existence. Is that a rebirth?

I think I can say my ego was also intact during this experience. I was still very much me, and felt incredibly sad for my family and friends that I died. It was extremely realistic... 'This is what happens when you die'. It wasn't a concept, a metaphore, I was really shown how it was like. I wish I could describe it as beautiful as you do, I think the language barrier is holding me back a bit here, but when reading your account I feel we had the same experience for the most part.

Did it ever happen again for you?