I had one iv DMT session about 18 months ago I completely lost sense of human self and merged with the god head. Basically my thoughts are who we really are is the whole universe or god in a human body experiencing life here on the physical plane

We are all one
We are all the same energy manifesting itself infintetly in the Universe

Basically we are all god in drag

This experience has changed my whole life attitudes ad beliefs overnight

It was perfect. What I've learned is deep underneath we are all magnificent and all connected to life.

What a gift DMT has been. I was completely shocked after this experience but it felt more real than anything on earth or this reality.

This is only my experience can anyone relate and how did you integrate such experiences into your life and spirituality

'Never had such an experience, i can feel the connection with the godhead sometimes though, sometimes sober sometimes not, but do you mind if i copy&paste ur words cus they are so direct and to the point i would love to share this with my friends on facebook.

I find the distinction of self from surroundings to be an interesting thing.

It appears that even in mice, this perception is affected by psychedelic drugs.

I had accidentally dosed around 50mg's a little over a year ago. It was all in one hit and nothing was left over in the GVG. By far the fastest onset of anything I have ever experienced. As well as the most intense thing I could never imagine possible, I still can't imagine the intensity today even though I went through it. I was merging with the everything, becoming one with it all, connecting and in control of. Feeling like you have actually left, and are somewhere else, is a very alien experience. It threw me off, as I panicked because I didnt want to leave my earth body behind for ever, which was my assumption of what was happening. It felt so alone out there.

Integration... that took quite awhile, and I am not so sure that I am finished. Are we ever really done integrating anything? The integration part was interesting this time. Most of it was automatic, I didnt really have a choice. A lot of stuff was permanently ingrained in me. I just had to hold on to my sanity for several months. The first few months I was going through a sort of PTSD period. I continued on with my life and mostly set psychedelics aside. The first few months I wasnt even sure if I would even dose DMT ever again.

I took up new hobbies, enjoyed my life. I'm a bit of an observer, I observe deeply my thoughts and emotions on a day to day basis. This was interesting as I could see the integration process happening as it unfolded. I dosed very low doses of DMT about 4 times or so since then, and I wasnt ready so thats where I currently stand.

I have a hard time explaining exactly what I do to integrate my experiences so I apologize for that. I just kind of do it. Life is experience, so experience LIFE.

DMT came to me. Actually, a dose of 5meo DMT, which killed "me'.I experienced ego death as fully as it can be. I literally felt my heart stop beating, watched my last breath leave my body and my consciousness was sucked out of a hole in the top of my head. I found myself in the place where all things in potential are, will be, and have been. I had a moment to reflect on the tragedy of my death, my body being found with a syringe next to it and the mistaken idea that I'd relapsed on heroin and od'd. Then all anxiety left, those who were left behind were already where I was, which was eternity. In the 12 minutes when I was dead, it was the most real experience of my life. ,

I realized that yes, like you, I am god. In the Godhead there is no emotion, no way to feel. God wants to feel, and as much as possible, the depth of sorrow and the depth of love, all of it. Soon, all to soon in this eternal place, some voice entered my"head" and told me "REMEMBER!" and with that I recalled that I was alive and should start breathing again. I don't know if I actually did stop breathing at any point, but I did come to and gasped for air. In a reverse of the exit, I had been sucked back into my body.

Everything if ever thought of our known about god was shattered. God is within, not without. The creator, the great energy that constantly creates and destroys all, is dispassionate and no, it does not care a whit about little me. But there are things, aspects of the creator that do. Entities, if you will. That's why there are so many gods (besides the disparate cultures and values that see things from their relative viewpoint) they are all aspects of the creator.

After I was placed back into my body, a new one, with a new mind that is, I felt like I had been shown "the truth", but I honestly could not relate it to any of the concepts I'd been studying, I did not understand the Tree of Life any better, I did not grasp the Sephirot any more than I had. The life long blindfold I had worn had been torn from my eyes, but I had no idea what I was seeing. I turned back to the texts I had never understood in the past in an attempt to translate this experience into something that was comprehensible. I found a book on kundalini, specifically, spontaneous awakenings thereof, and it was the closest thing to what I was going through that I could find. However, I am a westerner and while I've never attended a church, never taken some god or his kid to be my personal Deity, never attached a spiritual label to myself other than " I dunno", from a cultural perspective, kabbalah and it's long line of tradition in the west was something that I held onto, and still do.

Anyway, when I came back into this three dimensional reality, every concept I had held to be true had been utterly destroyed. In a paradox, while I now knew without doubt, that there is a "God", it was NOT what I expected. God may as well been a multi colored, four dimensional squid/dog with a million heads, Like I said, dispassionate, distant, a force like an eternal nuclear explosion of cosmic proportions, a black hole. Metaphorically, God IS a black hole, constantly destroying and creating without emotion or any aspect that we as humans could personally relate to. And distant.

Oh s**t,I was in trouble. I found God, but it's scary and lonely there. I wandered around for awhile, going about my three dimensional life all while knowing it is, not a farce-it's a very real thing-but this life is just like a grain of sand on the ocean floor of our individual existence. We are here but for a little while and we are here to learn a little more before we return to Godhead to hopefully stay if we do learn, or come back to try again. In the grand scheme,"I' mean very little. It was liberating, but very cold. I felt alone, not just the human loneliness that has often been my only steady companion, alone in a cosmic sense. I was told, after I was put back into my body these words-"you are born pain upon the cold breast of your mother, while your father stands far off". Thanks, that's a little, uh, chilling. Earth doesn't care, and God cannot hear.

*****ladles and Belgians... the point!!! *****

I tried to explain this feeling, this revelation to others but it was impossible. I was met by misunderstanding, by laughter and even derision. I was told I was crazy. I didn't feel a part of this world anymore. I just couldn't relate, and it scared the hell out of me. What does a twenty first century American do with enlightenment? In this material culture, where people place more value on manufactured objects and the paper they use to purchase them than in their fellows, their environment, and even themselves, "enlightenment"is of little or no value at all. Then I, as you, discovered this place. The Nexus, with the wonderful people that inhabit it, and it saved my sanity. I saw that there were quite a few folks here in the Land of the Jailed and Home of the Scared and abroad who have discovered the same thing as I, who actively seek to maintain and grow this relationship as they understand it with the ineffable. There are great folks here who have all integrated similar experiences into their lives to make them as good as they can.

Integration is a personal thing, as are your trips. You may for example, bring the knowledge you have gained into your personal relationships, to understand love to it's fullest comprehension. You may write, you may draw, play music or some other creative endeavor to bring your experience into this reality more fully. Ultimately, integration is up to you. Because in our material obsessed society there has been no framework to help us do this, it can be a very lonely thing. I, for example, am old. While I used to enjoy the company of fellow travelers when I ran around the country with the grateful dead following me, most if not all of those associations have long since fallen away, and I don't enjoy the social circles of like minded folks I used to. I don't get out to shows, or go to parties r. My circle of friends who share the psychedelic experience has been developed through the online communities I've become a member of, this one and one other in particular. I've even made actual real life friends through these places. The internet can be a wonderful ally in this endeavor.

Anyway, I hopeI haven't bored you too much if you made through this wall o text, and welcome into this world. It is full of strange and wonderful sights, sounds, and experiences, and is far more expansive than one could ever fully xplore.

Happy trails friend! Much love and light!love:

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Yesss.

We wear many masks, no?

I feel you, as i've been 'there' too..

It's been a couple years since my 40mg all-in-one-hit-bong breakthrough. Nearly instantaneous.

It's ingrained deeply within forever.

I'll never forget that day...no sir.

Keep on keepin on'

<3 tat

Yes, one breakthrough completely changed my life, and me.

I used to think a psychedelic is a psychedelic is a psychedelic, with minor differences in body load, etc, but DMT is an utterly different animal altogether.

Many of the people I know have developed a fear of psychedelics as a result of getting old and having all sorts of " baggage". Most fear a bad trip, getting stuck in some introspective loop. I have yet to be able to explain to one who has not been initiated that this is not really an issue with DMT, that one shoots right through that aspect of the psychedelic experience into pure spiritual awakening.

I went into hyperspace with a desire for that, my initiation was part of my spiritual journey. I have a spiritual aspect, though not at all religious, and I wonder what it would be like if I were atheist. I've wondered if one would have a park spiritual experience and what they would do with it.

I could have been called agnostic prior to "dying", but that experience removed any question of higher existence or realms, of the eternal and god like nature of humanity. That can be dangerous, even fur a spiritual person. I mean what if God wasn't nearly what you thought it woke be, and you weren't too thrilled with the revelation? That's kind what happened to me.

One of the best things i've read here in awhile.

Spot on to how I feel.

Some might say the 'source' has a 'cold indifference', but I don't feel that way. More like an impartial stance because, really, source encompasses every stance and then some.. hehe.

Not to de-rail this thread, but seriously..what you wrote...puts me back to that day two years ago.

<3 tat

Thanks, friend!

That indifference is what I WASN'T expecting. That experience made me realize, among a bad array of other things, exactly how naive I had been while thinking I had a fair level of spiritual development under my belt.

I was laboring under a large level of preconception borne out of social conditioning I didn't think I had. Even without ever going to churches, and having been able to follow my own path, I think somewhere inside I still had this concept of a fairy king kind of God-being, sort of an old man in robes kind of thing, and being shown that vast void and feeling that in-feeling indifference was really chilling.

It's good to have a place where there are other people who've experienced something similar.

I think this is the key to integrating knowledge gained from the other side. Remember, and keep the memory active in daily life. Especially when we feel we are being tested. What is the point in peircing the veil if it has no value upon our return? The knowledge that we are all one, albeit an individual aspect of the same life force. The ability to choose to act from a place of love instead of fear. For me, the greatest value that has come from transcending is my new found ease in relating to others,due I think to knowing that there is an aspect of self that can not be affected by anything so dense as material reality. Definatly more compassion and understanding. More tolerance and patience. I feel more mature and much less anxiety, hence more happiness.

I love that this forum has the space for open discussion on this topic.

Thanks for some great replies guys!

Null thanks for your wonderful post! Much of your post I can totally relate to!!

However, the feeling i had was not of indifference or no emotion when I was at the godhead it was full of feeling of emotion and everything; the only thing i felt was pure LOVE and connectedness; a feeling of like 'THIS IS IT"

"This is what you have been searching for here; infinite; you; EVERYTHING; congratulations you know who you really are"

and it felt like I KNEW EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING; It was almost like a perfect state..


As I was leaving my body and dying i started to panic and freak out; but telepathically i got sent this message it was so bizarre " Relax, Everything is fine, I am you, I know what Im doing, Just relax everything will be fine"


right after that i fully let go and had the MOST amazing experience in my life; It was SO intense I know I will never ever have an experience like that again while in this human form.

Lifetime of integration; But WOW;

The ironic thing is I was going to kill myself before i had this experience; I guess god was like here let me show you how much of a gift your life is; you cant die your eternal LoL..


It's almost like we are all living in our own hero's journey of the soul