I have finally reached a point in my life where I no longer feel restricted to what other people tell me I should be. I once heard a song and I quote, "everything anyone has ever told you about yourself is a lie." While I believe many things people tell me, right or wrong, I wish there was a way to see for myself.
I come from a conservative family. The discovery of my brother and I and our escapades with cannabis were met severely and strained my relationship with them. I really understood who my parents are at this point and I understand why they think the way they do. And it makes absolute sense and i have no problem with the way they are parenting me. But as an 18 year old with growing hopes and dreams and a new sense of self reliance I find myself questioning not only my parents and how i was raised, but every form of authority. I criticize social norms and rules. I am skeptical of laws and policies the world over.
I consider myself to be a deep thinker. This is a peaceful, but confusing way to be, I've found. I think about all of the above mentioned things and i think about how they might be made better, but i can't seem to find anyone who shares my ideals. its truly a blessing that i found this community, so far.
I am Lutheran. I have beliefs about God and the power of what Jesus' death truly means. But studying the Bible and going to church has lost it's value somewhat. I tend to bring up taboo ideas about how the Bible should be read, since it wasn't originally English. Maybe there really are some scientific explanations for some of the seemingly supernatural miracles and events that occured. Either way, these ideas are never entertained, but rather they are shut down in a "wrist slap" sort of way. As a creationist, it begs the question how can there be science if God did not create it? Would He not use it for His own purposes? either way, i digress; this essay isnt meant to be about religion.
I wish to know love without sexual attraction. Sex is a wonderful and beautiful thing, but why can't i feel such intense love without that? I wonder that maybe I'm more shallow than I think I am, but as i mentioned, is there really a way to know?
I have never taken any psychedelic drugs before, however im not afraid of taking DMT. I realize this is a naive way of thinking. perhaps its something to work up to. I believe im doing the right thing by looking for more information and understanding what it is and what it does. I've already grown to understand the truly spiritual nature of the substance (it feels wrong to call it a drug) and i hope to learn more from you all here.
That's enough about me. I hope that thi community can offer me some guidance and i truly hope that i can use this as an opportunity to bless as well as be blessed.

Hi sunnyshine777,

Welcome

It sounds like you're going through a lot of internal transitions and questioning the world around you. DMT may never provide answers.

Have you tried other psychedelics?

Be sure to read the Attitude page, it will help you settle in here.



Regards,
Wap

Thanks for the reply.

I am aware that i may not find answers in DMT, but at this point i try to keep my mind open to most anything.

i haven't tried any others, but i certainly plan on it. Most likely before DMT because i plan on synthesizing my own. I've been told that atleast understanding what a trip is like is better than nothing, although i've also read many times that nothing can prepare you for a DMT trip.

Thanks again, ill be sure to take a closer look at the attitude page.