Hello dwellers of the Nexus!

Oh how I have lurked, ever since the beginning of my research.

I can no longer resist becoming a functioning member of this community.

After an existential crisis brought on by a quantum physics course 9 years ago, I found myself questioning everything. Over time, the questions that once burned faded away. Happily, as they gave me no comfort.

A newfound curiosity and sense of awe has since pervaded my life, beginning roughly a year ago. It took 10 months for the spice to find me, and a connection was made. Even more recently I found the spice myself, a cleansing and therapeutic process that still astounds me. How could something so simple produce something so infinitely complex? No smiley is big enough.

I consider myself a novice when it comes to hyperspace, and despite some enthusiastic exploration in recent months, memory and understanding elude me. Certain points stand out though. I'd like to share the most "profound" so far.

Without going into too much detail, my launch into hyperspace is generally mixed with repeating anxious thoughts. A strong feeling of "?????" can make the first minute or so very difficult to remember, as I'm almost certain my mind is simply not accepting of the impossible it's witnessing.

Some of the strongest memories I do have come in the final stages of the "breakthrough," the hybrid hyperspace that consumes as completely as is possible when one is aware of the world back here.

It was in this phase that I saw in the top right quadrant of folding realities a standing spiral DNA like helix. I was consumed in this quadrant and it seamlessly filled my vision. I began to notice everything was made up of a similar compound, atoms as I know them. Despite how tiny these atoms were, I was able to notice the green, red, and blue hues, distinct. A soup.

As soon as I had this realization I also noticed I was slowly moving towards this helix tower, being carried in two arms by a giant being to my left. I didn't think to look at it, I was deep in the realization of what the helix tower actually was. As it was made from the same atoms of everything else, it wasn't obvious at first it was a part of a much larger structure. Not able to see it in it's entirety, I can only assume it was vast, and I was looking at a wall, the helix tower embedded within. Each "branch" of the helix gained depth as the giant (stone?) entity carried me towards it, and I saw another entity, also gigantic (about 10-15x my size) mixing the atoms within this container. Each branch was a separate container, slowly rotating up so the entity could mix the contents.

At this point I could not believe what I was seeing, and was overjoyed at how slow and lucid this state was. My journeys into hyperspace before this were always so fast, over before I could get a hold of anything, let alone relax.

The entity carried me up to watch his giant friend slowly mix up the atoms, until I realized I was being lowered into the container. There was only a sense of connection and sheer positive energy as I was mixed around in this bowl, not feeling the hands but instead the atoms shifting and becoming a part of me.

Before I could give in to my astonishment, I was slowly sucked out the bottom of the container, and slid backwards down what felt like a hyperspace waterslide. The entity that was carrying me before may have been carrying me back down, but I do not recall it anymore. The other entity continued mixing the containers and I was able to watch for about 30 seconds before everything faded and I realized I was back here.

This remains my most lucid experience with the molecule, and I feel honored. I have other experiences to share but I need to integrate and internalize them before words can be used for description.

The education and community here excites me, and while I am completely unsure of what I have stumbled upon, I can't help but feel it is meant to be. The time in my life is right and my mind is open enough to accept so much more than before. Patience and respect seem required, my consciousness is happy to oblige.

This went a little longer than I expected, thank you for the community you have all built!

Welcome to the Nexus!

That does sound like a very special experience, glad you have been able to have those experiences, and work on integrating and find an appreciation for everything.

Was DMT your first psychedelic?

Did you take or consider taking oral DMT/ayahuasca?

Be well!

Hello endlessness, thanks for the warm welcome!

My sole experimentations before last year involved 4 sporadic mushroom ingestions. Very enjoyable and strange.

Last year I obtained some "Lucy" and had roughly 8 experiences. Later came to find only half of those were legitimate, also had gotten some nBOME (probably, sigh).

Tested out Salvia twice 9 years ago and got a SERIOUS slap my second time. Had my most serious out of body experience before the spice with some N2o. My favorite substance on earth is also the most popular psychedelic, cannabis.


On the Ayahuasca front, I recently picked up some yellow B. Caapi and Syrian Rue. Not sure how I'm going to proceed, deep down I would prefer a more traditional brew not using MHRB, but another part of me thinks the B. Caapi is probably sufficient for authenticity.

In other material concerns, I'm also unsure about proceeding without a sitter. I am confident in myself with what I've already experienced, but having never tested the aya it's a slight concern. I'm hoping to clear my head and take an aya journey in the next few months, hopefully out in nature when it warms up a bit.

I could spend all day reading about this stuff, sometimes it's easy to forget to experience it yourself.

Fascinating stuff. I'm looking forward to reading about more of your experiences. I can certainly relate to what you said about your existential crisis feeding your desire to experiment with entheogens/psychedelics.

Patience and respect are qualities that are handy in just about every situation.

Sounds like you went from existential crisis to psychedelic parade. Good work. Your vivid descriptions contain imagery I can relate to, thematically if not specifically. It conveys a vastness that I cherish.

Welcome.

Hey uz, thanks for your post.

For me, the "existential crisis" passed, but now feels like something I can tap into without the danger. Appreciating the curiosity instead of letting it consume has allowed me to be productive and enjoy the mysteries of life.

Did your "crisis" lead you to entheogens quicker than my 9 years? I'm curious if you experimented with the substances while still in what I would call "despair?" Personally that would have been somewhat difficult for me.

Thanks for the warm welcome! Love the "psychedelic parade" phrase, each experience a new, unimaginable "float"

Deep down I hope others can identify with what I write, because I identify deeply with bits and pieces others have written here. These experiences are ultimately deeply personal and are impossible to fully share, but it doesn't stop my human instinct from wanting to connect.

That vastness really is something, isn't it?