I know the feeling of not having people to talk to. I had what they refer to as a heroic Breakthru state journey the other night . It was my first and last time. I witnessed too much to ever go back to being asleep. I should state that I have been on a spiritual journey for many years. I've read works by Ramtha, the Dali Lama, the law of attraction, ect ect I have practiced spirituality with the help of my babalawo . I've been told there has been a great battle for my soul and that's why I had so many extreme life lessons and experiences. I've done spiritual rituals to remove dark spirits from my life and witnessed them work. I never believed the whole story that was force fed to us all about Jesus and what not. But I always knew we came from something. I've always questioned everything and been drawn to Hindu goddesses, Buddha and ancient Egypt. I never know why but felt they were the truth Sayers. When I was younger I had many LSD And mushroom trips, I've done lots of extasy and Molly's. Always in search for something. Nine months ago I made a life change, we moved from Miami to la where I knew not one single soul. I found myself yearning for something deeper. I began practicing yoga and learning about prana breathing and the importance of regulating our breathing. Than one day I came across the documentary the "spirit molecule" and something inside me screamed! I have to seek this... What you seek also seeks you. And so I put out my intent to the universe (hey universe, I want to know more, I want to be enlightened!)
A few days ago my cousin came to town on a complete surprise visit , he than introduced me to his friend and over dinner he mentioned DMT . I Asked if h had any and told him I was on a spiritual quest. He said he would share with me so 2 days later we meet at a friends house in a very intimate setting with my husband and good friend who happens to be Buddhist. He insisted I go first and put on some music that makes us feel frequencies. I sat down on the bed and prepared myself. He said just take 1 hit and pay down. Apparently I took so many hits I used it all which was meant for 4 people. (After I came back I told them I remember him saying to me, take in more, take in more) at on e I was confused, a million thoughts raced thru my mind, I contemplated contemplation. I was thought at its basic level, I was consciousness. ImmediTley I said oh my god I must have does in a car crash, where was I going, who was I with, wait, who am I??? I was terrified. I was mourning my loss but didn't know why or what or where I came from. I was greeted by Hindu goddesses who made sure I opened my eyes and told me just to breath and relax, pay attention we have your answers but you must let go. They guided me thru all creation and to my own personal hell where I had to come face to face with my sins or rather my ego. I was there for thousands of years, the demon spirits lured me deeper and deeper into the Infinite hole that was my personal hell. At one moment it all became clear and I repented my sins. On the way home I was shown the egeyptian pyramids and the guardians of the tombs told me all the answers to all the questions that ever were, are already inside of us. The eye of Horus open to me and reminded me that our third eye is the gateway to everything. There is a constant battle between good vs evil for our souls ragging on every waking and sleeping moment all around us. We must live as virtuously as we can for we will be held accountable for our lives for eternity before we are allowed to join back the creator which we each are, in bliss and enlightment . When I came back to this plane I looked at my friends and husband and asked if they were real, am I real, are you sure?? Is this place real?? I have to touch each of them, had to confirm I was not dreaming.
I no longer sleep thru the night, I continue to get visions and messages and last night I was able to travel outside my body and visit others dreams.
I sound insane .... I am aware .... But I am also aware that that is my ego demons trying to convince me of the greatest lie ever told. We are nothing. Truth is, we are EVERYTHING. And nothing all at once. This is all an illusion, and once it is over we will no longer remember what we were or where we came from but we will mourn the loss of something wonderful. For being human is the most amazing experience in that it is an actual experience!! Live each day with light and love for in the end it is all that matters. The only possessions we as humans truely need is that which may bring us knowledge and wisdom and feed our souls.
I have yet to find grounding and am living with one foot in the world and one foot in that which is the other.
Please if you read this long tale and have any words of advice or comfort let me hear from you.
Once your eyes are open you can never go back to sleep. And I am so very tired
Namaste' I see you
Love and light be upon you
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Once you open your eyes you can not go back to sleep... I see you, Namaste peace, love, light