I suppose my introduction to the world of DMT began 10 years ago when I was about 16 or 17, I decided to try 5-Meo-DMT. I had been doing my research on Erowid and was aware of the difference in potency between DMT and 5-Meo-DMT and knew that I should be very careful with my dose. When I decided to try it, I went with a group of friends out into the forest to find a nice place to experience what was to come. I was to be one of two people to try the chemical while the rest of the people were to serve as trip sitters providing sober observers and moral and mental support. I think there were about 6 or 7 of us all in all. I went first and proceeded to ingest 20-25mg through the nose. It didn't take long of course, maybe five minutes, and then it was fast, I mean, like going from 0 to the speed of light in about 30 seconds. This was not a smooth transition at all. The experience that followed defies all attempts to put it into words, a difficulty that I am sure all of you are aware of. Yet I will try anyway. Any and all conceptions that I had previously had of my ego and its place in reality were instantly shattered, obliterated. What remained was bare awareness of what I can only describe as the "source" or the "point of all places". There was no perception of me, "I" was not observing this experience, it was just "experience". There was no time, no space, there was all space and all time. All contradictions existed in interlocking harmony, yet there was nothing that existed at all. It didn't make any sense, but made perfect sense. After an infinite number of iterations of eternity, "I" managed to find "myself" solidifying back into "my body". I was entangled in a small bush with my arms flailing about shouting "WEEEEEEEEEEE!" and laughing with cosmic delight. My friends around me were also laughing, and as I looked around I noticed that they all looked like they were tripping as well. Then I heard one of my friends say something to the affect of, "you should go back there!" I closed my eyes, and then again, 0 to the speed of light in 30 seconds, repeat what I just wrote. This time when I finally, after another round of forevers, came back I was astutely aware that everyone around my was really getting affected in some way by what was happening to me. It was like my trip was making them trip. There faces were glowing, pupils were dilated, and all of them wanted me to back for a third time. But "I' had had it. No more forever for "me". I wanted to come down. The trip took on some anxiety as my transition back to reality began. I was thankful for the support of my friends as they were able to provide a much needed atmosphere of understanding, conversation and compassion to talk me down from the high peak of the precipice of existence. It took my ego several weeks to re-integrate itself back into reality after this. It was a very difficult time for me, but one that ultimately proved to the foundation of the definition of "me".
Years later, when I found myself spending a prolonged period of time at a vipassana meditation center, I had an experience of endogenous 5-Meo-DMT being released inside of me. I remember the taste of the chemical flood in from the top of my mouth as I stood in front of a pond and had a repeat of what was written above. This time it was much less forced, it felt more natural to me, and there was no difficulty of re-integration as there had been before. Again, this experience served as a basic definition of what "I' consider "myself" to be.
I have been reading a lot of the discussion on the nexus about DMT and the pineal, and while this experience in now way shows that 5-Meo-DMT is produced in the pineal, it did show to me, without any doubt in my mind, that this chemical is accessible to all of us from the inside. But this only showed this to me, and I expect all of you to remain, as you should, skeptical on this matter.
Side note: I tried 5-Meo-DMT before N,N-DMT, but when I did do ayahuasca, I had the thought that the two chemicals represent either side of a beam of light going through a prism. 5-Meo-DMT being the solid beam of white light, and N,N-DMT being the full spectrum on the other side. Just a thought...