As I was witnessing these things, I thought “Having seen what I’ve seen, there’s no way I’ll ever be able to return without going completely insane.” There were moments where I was convinced that I had gone too far, and that I wouldn’t be going back.

At one point I felt like I had breached the boundary between our everyday reality and the reality I was in. I felt that there was no going back because there was nothing to go back to – reality had been consumed.

It is true what I thought. So many of you are confirming it.

What I thought was: "Aren't the things DMT have showed me actually disturbing inner peace? "


I came there looking for answers. Answers that could possibly give me more understanding of the true nature of this
reality. Asnwers we've all gotten: Answers we can completely not comprehend. Answers that are pretty much useless and in the end bring more questions in return.

I found this to be true for all psychedelics. Sometimes they've given me some deep insight into my own psyche. And into the general psyche of the human being. But ultimately they've raised more philosphical questions than they've answered.
I've long seen Psychedelics as invaluable tools of healing, but more and more...I'm not so sure anymore.



I've witnessed the same icecold, mechanical thing that has been mentioned here countless times. It horrified me.
Much more so than the obviously evil entities: They were still recognisable as vaguely reminiscent of terrestrial beings. They had a soul and an intent( even if it was a malicious soul & intent), but this cold, alien, gigantic being has no soul at all. No emotions. No intentions.

Though my mind was open to it and thought "let's not judge this being", my heart fiercely rejected it.
I could not relate in any way to this being. I could not accept the existance of this being on an emotional level.
Not at all.


The problem with me is: I didn't forget half as much as you did, Gibran. And you too know I wish I did.
Too much sticks with me and I must admit: it's making my life very difficult to live, emotionally.

I'm having the hardest time enjoying mundane experiences like going out to dance, socialising, jamming...etc
I'm filled with a sense of futility. That it's all so purposeless and devoid of true meaning. Because I saw things that show how much of a joke, an illusion this entire reality is. I cannot remember it on a cognitive level, but the emotional aspect of the memory stuck. I feel doomed to suffer the rest of my life in boredom, claustrophobia and depression. I genuinely wonder if I can get out of this dreadfull state ever again. I'm sure as hell going to try.

More and more I'm starting to guess this is the result of my Psychedelic experiences, most notably those on DMT.

...also, Gibran, may i ask, does the meaning/message behind your dmt experiences differ much from your salvia experiences? or have they taken you to similar questions/conclusions just through a different scope?

That mother fucker is the alpha and the omega. There is nothing beyond it (it seems). It's not a vision or a "hallucination", it becomes all of reality and you remember it is the only reality you have ever known. In that state, any question you have about reality is absurd. There is only THAT. For me, this is the farthest you can go on dmt, or anywhere. There is no going further because there is nothing else, and you can see that when you're there.

That thing is so powerful, yet so subtle and easy to forget. I've obviously "forgotten" it because I'm here typing this. I wouldn't be able to do this if I was in that hyper reality, I only have a vague sense of that all powerful thing. I actually sort of forgot about that guy after my first big dose trip. Then in my second trip, I went back to his realm, and I was like, "oh shit!! why the fuck did I come back here?" and he was like, "yeah, bitch, remember me, dumbass? What do you think you're doing coming back so soon? How could you have forgotten already?" The message I get from "God" is IT is all there is and ever was, and ever will be. Everything that has ever happened has transpired according to ITS design. My whole life from start to finish is IT, and everything I experience is only something that it allows me to see. And then you go back to that realm and remember your true nature, and you're like....... "oh my God..... I remember.... that's who I am??? THAT!? THAT?!??!?!!!! That cold mechanical alien mother fucker? That's God? That's me? I don't want that. That's hell!.... but it's going to last forever, and there is no escape, ever." And seemingly the only reason I am here is for it to experience embodiment and the limitation of being finite..... it wants to experience all levels of existence.

The encounter with that entity destroys everything you can possibly think you know. Then back here in the "real world" people ask if the alien entities are real or not.... but when you're there, it's not just real, it's ALL THAT IS. And here I was studying enlightenment teachers, who talk about a void and your true nature being no identity, an emptiness. Then I encounter this all powerful thing and it throws all that void talk down the toilet, and I'm like, "oh my God... the enlightened teachers were bullshitting me the whole time!". This ain't no void, this is right in your face all poewrful superintellegence. It does seem like an alien, it does seem like an entity. But the teachers weren't necessarily bullshitting... there's just no words to describe what I speak of.

Just when I thought I had things figured out with the void, and "the watcher", or whatever, I come across Mr. Fractal Alien Super God and find it's playing me like a puppet. Suddenly, regular boring unenlightened life seemed like such a gift compared to this hell that was my true nature. That's why in my first trip I broke down crying for my mother, and wanted regular life back, and I prayed to forget everything I knew. I also threw away my dmt after my encounter with this "entity" because it was like all of reality was a joke, why the hell would I take dmt again? Might as well go back to my regular life and appreciate the fuck out of it while it lasts, because death might be a nightmare. However, once you get back to regular life, you integrate, and realize that encountering that all powerful thing was just your next step. You've just discovered a whole new world to explore, you don't want to avoid it and be afraid of it forever. It doesn't have to be a scary thing... it's just the next thing in this utterly mysterious adventurous life. And oh yes, I still appreciate the fuck out of my regular life too. But there are many adventures to be had in this life, and more to explore than I ever thought.

For me, the DMT experience seems to be focused on the immaterial realm – a ream that lies outside of physical existence, outside of time and space and energy and matter, yet paradoxically filled with places and beings. The DMT experience is often deeply personal as well.

The salvia experience seems to be about the physical realm – the many-layered multiverse. There seem to be whole universes, sometimes very similar to our own, just a millimeter away in another spatial dimension. So close yet so far! And when there, it’s so obvious that this is the nature of reality – layer upon infinite layer of universes, stacked like pages in a book.

As I write this, I realize that simple descriptions and explanations can’t possibly do justice to the variety and complexity of these realms. Language is such a barrier!