Hi guys,

Some of you may have known me lately to be discussing Aya, the brew, etc. I haven't gone into the journey, or posted about it, because it was a little more intense than anticipated and it's left me with questions.

In a nutshell, my friend was absolutely petrified during her trip. She spoke of demons and reliving her entire life. I'm sorry to say I don't remember much of mine. I mainly felt at peace except for times she cried for help. It was frightening all around.

Since then, our friendship has felt stressed. I remember at one point during our shared trip, I felt us fighting each other. Our minds' pushing the other away. I've brought up my concerns with her and she thinks it was our ego consciousness wrestling or something. It makes sense because we get along like long lost friends most of the time. Our friendship started from a higher vibration and most of the time, it feels like that. But after our Aya journey, I can't help but wonder if this great friendship is a lie and facing the truth is hard for us both; or if we really did battle it out, and if so, for what?

Thanks.
-WS

It must not be a very nice feeling, but maybe the ayahuasca showed you something that was hidden very deep between the two of you. You say that you get a long most of the time, maybe this is your chance to remove that most of the time.

I am just suggesting, it's hard to say something about someone else's feelings. I think you would need to talk it out with her. Does she feel the same, did she feel this way before the trip maybe?

Thanks for the reply. Ironically she called me not long after I posted this. Apparently she had a bad night and was happy to hear my voice. Women are strange. I brought this troubling idea I have up with her, and like I said, she doesn't think it was our souls battling it out. However, I think she may be worried as well. Might hang out tomorrow, so it'll be good to discuss it then.

I dont know you or her but it sounds like you may have been observing the tension and cognitive dissonance occurring due due to both being in different states of mind.
Maybe deep down you both wanted to get away from her at that point but also knew you had to stay to be a friend and she was tense about bringing you down but also wanted company.
Like I say I dont know you its just food for thought but I think whatever the reason your friendship will be stronger in the long term.

It seems like your role was reduced to that of "sitter", and this can happen- two friends take equivalent amounts of something, one has a rough time and the other remains somehow grounded, often in a kind of helping role. I've been in both roles, and it can just be a part of that complex dynamic that happens when two or more people trip.

That "battle" part of the experience sounds like you could have been sensing- and responding subtly- to each others' discomfort, in a feedback loop. It's something humans do naturally, and of course everything in the psychedelic state seems amplified, so sensing it as a struggle of some sort isn't surprising. I think that it might be a mistake to put too much specific significance in the event (this must mean that you attacked me in a past life!) considering that there was so much overall discomfort in the room at the time.

Maybe she can tell you in more detail about other parts of her experience... That could help build a new bridge of understanding between you.

All good replies. We talked about it and we both have different ideas of what the loop was. She thinks our minds went through every romantic scenario between us and how all but one would fail (we've been going back and forth with that). I think it was showing us some of the obstacles we may face, romantic or not, because things have been wearing thin. However, after we got it all out, things went back to normal. We're not definitely sure what happened, but we're glad it's out in the open now.

Thanks for your thoughts.