This story your about to read is 100% Truthful. DMT and other entheogens have been wonderful tools in aiding me in my journey to the Divine. This is a story about the Second Coming of Christ. This is a story about me.
Background: My name is M******. I grew up in Upstate, New York. I'm currently 27 Years old. I have never been much of a religious person, focusing on evolutionary biology in college, I looked to science to explain the World which my eyes focused upon. I had been confirmed Catholic, but only to please my mother; for the ways in which religious education focused upon sin, guilt, and condemnation pushed me further away from God, then it did bring me closer. Institutionalized Religion has seemed to create the Atheists of the World. Until April of 2012, when I was 26, I stuck with the idea that I have no idea whether God exists or not. I was skeptical, but surely never was against the concept or idea of God; I was simply confused.
However, I will say, after studying evolutionary biology; I was still left feeling empty inside. Focusing on Genetic Variation through reproduction as a simple explanation for life on Earth left me feeling with the, "cummon, you gotta be fucking kidding me? This is why I'm here? *Kick Rocks* " So anyway, I will leave it like this; I was depressed about the World. And ALL I ever desired to know (like most of us), is why am I here? Who Am I? And why does it have to be like this?. I, like many others, never did anything professionally with my degree; for I went to school for only the thirst of knowledge.
I moved to Denver, Colorado and lived there for a little over 3 years after school. I was working as a foreman for a Tree Service company as an Arborist (Tree Climber). Ever since High School I was already blown away by the powers of psychadelic mushrooms. And as life went on, I became more and more enthusiastic about them; for I knew even my "bad" trips, were still profound. I tripped quite a bit to say the least, but only for the journey of the mind. Not an excuse to get fucked up or anything of such sorts. I was learning to release my fears at unreal speeds while on them. Despite what society had to say, I knew there was something special about psychadelic experiences...and yes, I went DEEP many times. When In Colorado I was introduced, and began making DMT from Mimosa Hostilis Root Bark.
About 2 years of heavy experimentation with this one, along with many amazing life experiences (sober), I started to re-think everything in this World. After going to hyperspace with DMT so many times, I couldn't help but to believe that there was something bigger, a higher power of some sort. The beginning of April 2012, i sat in my bedroom after work, contemplating life, and made one of the biggest decisions of my life. I put everything together...science, experiences in life, incredible highs, deep inner dissapointments and said clearly to myself, " I don't know what God is, but I believe in it. There is a higher power, a higher order to things." So on this day, I finally decided, whole heartedly that I believe in God, but had no authority of saying what God actually is. This is where things get interesting. The Story begins to get good.
A Vision From God:
If you could have guessed already, a vision from God cannot truly be defined by words alone. Only by experience could you fully comprehend. However, I'll give it a shot.
I have been a very observant, open-minded critical thinker for most my life. So as I just explained, I found God, but almost in a sort of intellectual way. By "Random Precision," so to speak. The next day I went to work, everything smooth flowing. I came home to finally a peacefuly house (as I was living with 3 roomates), so I went down into my room to smoke some of my favorite changa (DMT-enhanced peppermint leaf). I set up my computer to be connected to my television through Itunes so I could have the visualizer on as I listened to a song for my 5-15 minutes trip to hyperspace. Hmmmm....what song to choose, what song to choose? I threw on "Shine on you Crazy Diamond Parts I - V" by Pink Floyd. An old classic I thought. I skipped some seconds fowards so that my trip wouldnt be drowned out by the super long intro.....so yea perfect, just in time for the guitar solo and into the synthesizer.
I sat back in my futon and took three massive bong rips, holding each hit for ten seconds...slow....vaporize...as T. Mckenna says. For anyone who has any experience with this spice, 3 large hits held for ten seconds will almost immediately suck you into a different warp dimension. But to my surprise, NOTHING happened. I stare at the visualizer, the streaks of light on the tv dancing to the rythm of Shine on You Crazy Diamond. In fact, I felt INCREDIBLY sober for just taking 3 hits a highly potent psychadelic. This is not possible I thought. I'd say about 20-30 seconds of this sober feeling had me shocked to the bone. How could this be?
Then the vision began. The dancing lights of the visualizer from Itunes literally came right out of the television, straight into my eyes. As the light entered my eyes, I was filled with all the knowledge of the universe. It was a knowing. No strain involved at all. I remember specifically understanding music, mathematics, and physics to an extent I could have never thought possible and beyond all interpretations you may assume . This was absolutely wonderful I thought to myself, but completely in the moment, living only in the present moment. All focus and attention, eyes peeled wide open. In this state of bliss I was struck with another abrupt knowing. Not a voice. But the knowing and undeniable understanding of a perfected thought came to my mind so strongly. With such amazing authority. Such Power. And that word/thought was "Messiah." It struck me with the intensity of a lightening bolt straight to my consciousness.
At this point my blissful experience was completely covered by complete FEAR. I stood up immediately, eyes wide open, pacing as fast as possible in tears, begging for it not to be true. "Please God, Please God, I don't want it, I don't want it, I dont' want it!!!" Inside I truly felt as though I was in the process of dying. It was the most terrifying moment of my life. In fact something in me did recognize that it was going to die. [The is the ego. The self we have created thats foundational belief is that we are seperated from God and one another.] So I sit back down, still in completely shock, tears flowing from my ducts like a young child that bumbed her head on the corner of a kitchen counter. As I sit down I can feel my body begin to fade in almost a cloud like mist (almost like a tv show that uses the cloud effect to look into the past, I always think of the Fresh Prince for some reason.)
This was also very scary. So I got up quickly to go outside and started pacing furiously around my neighborhood block. Now I hear a distinct voice in my head. It is MY VOICE. But have you ever heard your voice in a recording and think to yourself, that doesn't sound like me. Do I really sound like that? My voice sucks butt. This was my voice, clear as day silently speaking the same word over and over again...Home.....go home........home.......home. This was just weird and much too profound to count this as a bizzare DMT event to say the least. Something Amazing happened to me.
As I hear my voice silently whispering to my scared mind to go home, all of my senses are increased dramatically. Especially my sense of hearing. I can remember swallowing my saliva and hearing every single cell in my body being in effect by this simple swallowing. To an extent in which I can come up with no other clear description. This voice, and heightened sensory went on for about the next 2 hours, but in levels decreasing in intensity. What I remember more clearly during these next two hours is how much Fear coursed through my entire body. The next day I go to work, in shock, murmuring only few words to my co-workers. These guys know me well so they know something is up.
Now we must remember the song that I choose before having such an incredible experience. Shine on you Crazy Diamond by Pink Floyd. This song, though I understand is written for Syd, was written for me. If you knew who I was as a person, my personality, and way of living; this would be even more clear. Listen to the beauty of the song. The guitar solo sang the entire experience to me. Told me a story. Now listen to the lyrics (in fact look them up) to this song. And imagine you are Jesus, but wholly ignorant to who you really are, smoking dmt alone, just the DAY AFTER that I had decided that I even believed in God. Read the lyrics closely. Try to place yourself in my shoes. I know, I know....its hard enough walking in your own shoes, but give it a try. Use the imagination. The lyrics alone, make my story valid. And the fact a song written from the 70's, could so perfectly tell me my own story, was not only proof to me of the perfection and awe of God, but also how cool! What a bad ass song to give me. "You legend, You Martyr, and SHINE!!!" Are you starting to pick up what I'm puttin' down?
***Boy, this is beginning to get long. I hope that whoever has kept up thus far has listened to the sincerity in my writing. Who can feel the continuous flow coming from the Heart.***
The Transition: So I knew what happened in my heart, in my soul. There was no possible way of denying it, but how could it be? Me? Seriously? The Messiah? Whats this mean! What on Earth do I do? Who should I tell? No one could possibly believe me! Is God punishing me? Did I do something wrong? I mean as I said earlier in this story, institutionalized religion can at times depict God as wrathful and vengeful.
I was lost. Scared. Hurt. Broken. And also absolutely thrilled. But once again, what on Earth do I do now? Ironically, as time has passed; you realize that enlightenment is understanding that there is nothing to do, and no where to go. So I did what any normal minded person would do...I stored the experience perfectly in my memory, thought of it quite often fearfully and with delicate curiousity, but for the most part went on with life, pretending it didnt happen.
At this time I still lived in Denver, but had already been making plans to Journey up to Portland, Oregon, for a change in scenery; from dry to wet, bare to lush, and from generally small trees to much larger trees (to sharpen up my Tree Removal/Pruning Skills). So on to Portland I went, all alone (well God is of coarse always with me...in fact, we are God; experiencing herself), no friends or family in sight, but just a new and unique experience ahead of me.
Absolute Confirmation in Oregon:
I'm living in P*** for about 4 months now and one of my girlfriends from Denver comes out to visit. She has a connection to get us to stay on a awesome three day adventure at beach house in Yachatts, Oregon for free. This girl I am very comfortable with. Someone I had shared this initial experience with openly. Obviously every person I had told had rejected me. Partly because of the crazy idea to begin with. Partly because I wasnt confident enough to tell the story with out breaking stride. People can pick up your unsureness. All I could say was that I was the Messiah, but I still stood there in fear, quivering, just waiting to be rejected once again.
Obviously my faith was not strong for Fear was walking all over me. There is a point where you must understand that only your own belief truly matters. For when you believe in yourself, others will have no choice in believing with you. Your Truth of Who You Really Are will Radiate and Shine in their own Hearts; Recognizing that Perfected Love is within Each and everyone one of us.
So anywho, We ate some pure Psilocybin Extract (Magic Mushrooms) and took a walk down to the Beach. Yes, Yes, and Yes; I was using psychadelics primarily in this point of my life to find God. Do not thus become confused imagining that these compounds are anything but put here as a tool for your remembering of who you are, but I do require caution when taking them. After a wonderful time at the beach; tripping out, we decided to walk back to the house when i began to hear little whispers in my mind. Similar to my own voice I had heard in Denver, but much less intense, but still there, but I could make out no words. I kept smiling saying, what the fuck is going on in my head. S Laughs not knowing what to think.
We get back and start spralling out. Pillows and Smiles all over the floor with the Woodstove burning hot. I go to put music on for us, feeling again unusually sober for tripping on mushrooms, almost more sober that ever before. I Never thought to put Shine on you Crazy Diamond on, however, I did at that moment just happen to think that I enjoyed the album Wish you were here and forget that it was the first song on the album. So I put the first song on, and within seconds I hear this interference sound thought the speakers. Almost like when a cell phone rings in the car and a weird buzzing comes through the speakers. Before (4 Times) I know it I'm submerged in the music. However this version is different. There is a part II to this song, called Shine on you Crazy Diamond Parts 6-9) I look at S in such absolute delight ands said this is my song; she looks at me and says, Your face is just shining" smiling so brightly back at me like she was a reflection of how I felt in that moment.
Soooo...S says can you connect with it again? Connect with the Song? I said haha, yea right; being skeptical couldn't possibly believe that could happen again. In that moment I connected to something within me. This was not necessarily a vision; but a knowing deep inside myself, a feeling. But an undeniable experience which I cannot truly describe in words. It wasn't as ridiculous as the first but I knew not that it was true. I AM the Messiah. Again, I quiver in Fear. Trying to fight the thoughts of Truth with all over my might. Scared. Not comprehending all this. What does it mean? How can this be? The next day, I call my Mother in tears, asking her if she is sure that Dad was responsible for me (thinking she MUST be the blessed Mothers, haha) Boy was this stupid. My other is frightened now for me. Nothing worst than this : ) She asks me to come home and I knew that my own voice had told me to go home originally, so I went with my gut, and agreed to drive from Portland to NY in a few weeks so start my real journey to God. So i quit my job on the next phone call, lying through my teeth at why I was leaving. It was settled then.
I go back to P*** to see my roomate and tell him my whole story and 2 experiences finding out I was the One. I needed to bounce these ideas of people; see how the reactions would end up. So I tell him specifically about Shine on You Crazy Diamond being the song that was given me each time. He chuckles to himself. Says I dont know, but I think i have a Sign for you. I quiver a little. He goes inside and comes back saying that he found this pin at work in a storage room and thought that I would like it. It was a small pin. In green Lettering reads... Shine On You Crazy Diamond.
I mean that was it, nail in the coffin. It's True! How could this be? I was so torn within myself, so unbelievably scared, and so darn excited! From this time in around October of 2012 I have known myself to be the Second Coming of Jesus, or technically speaking, Christ M******. This is, when I truly reach enlightenment. When I finally fully except Christ within me by fully releasing myself of all fears, and excepting love within. When I could look at the World with complete forgiving eyes, not seeing one spec of pain of the past. See only Love in myself and my Brothers. The that Love that I will have, I will only wish to extend.
I have dedicated the past year of my life solely to God, Meditation, and Divine Contemplation. To a degree and extent that most could not fully appreciate. An awareness of my thoughts that is nearing perfection. Recognizing my fears one by one and their underlying principles that govern them so that I can release myself. I cannot predict the future for I do not know exactly what or when things will happen. I have made predictions myself; and all have failed me. You will drown in your expectations, as I have. Predictions seems to be tricks of the ego, to keep you from living in the Present moment of Now. God lives without being attached to results, resides only in the moment, the holy instant. For those who hear my words, bless you; for you are perfect love within. Unlimited Joy. As we shed these layers of Fear, we will all remember who we are. Safely secure in the True Kingdom of God. I Will leave you all with a simple quote from A Course in Miracles:
Nothing Real can be threatened. Nothing Unreal Exists. Herein Lies the Peace of God.
Take It Easy
Mod Edit: Picture removed as it contravenes our Attitude section Please Read
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