Sometimes when I drink ayahuasca or smoke DMT, I still have fear I will experience something terrifying and it keeps me from letting go and seeing everything I want to.
Drinking ayahuasca (Oral DMT with beta carbolines rather) if I close my eyes I am almost instantly hit with paranoia and have tried to face the fear but end up sensing darkness and get scared and open my eyes.

Im afraid I will end up tripping face first into a world of hell that will totally shake me to the core in a bad way. We've all heard of stories about some dude that took mushrooms or acid and had a bad trip and was psychologically never the same. Ive actually heard of these stories from people who worked in mental hospitals and claim that some people realy don't come back sometimes.

In shamanic training though, I am absolutely sure that they would have to know the worlds of hell just as well as the worlds of heaven (if you wanted to put it like that). I feel as though the only way to break through this psychological barrier is to go face first into this world and conquer my fear.

I watched a video where these guys take ayahuasca and the shaman said something along the line of "have no fear, if you see a skull and are terrified, jump through its mouth and see whats inside"



Does anyone have experience doing this? Im planning to do this tonight.

I'm me, so don't take my word for it, this has to do with your mental constitution, you know it best. Fear on Aya has always been terrifying yet manageable... It's like I experience it in all its depth and terror, but it's always felt like I'm standing there, looking at it, letting it wash over me, and nothing bad has happened.

That's what fear is, in the end - I have told myself - as long as you're not being attacked by an actual monster or whatever you're afraid of, how does it matter? Ignore it.

Also, if you have strong intent, hold on to it like a torch in a dark forest and dispel the "monsters" - you are strong.

Unless you're likely to be psychotic (please be sure you are not in a risk category), you will carry away something positive from the experience, if it's only "thank god i don't have to go back there" and at some point you might find yourself wanting to back to the insight.

Also, what is probably so terrifying is a real problem in your real life manifesting somehow - it's what you came for, so seek it out and rid yourself of it.

As I wrote down recently - "After all, it's a couple hours of purgatory for an eternity of heaven in life, and one day, even in death."

Good luck, be safe, know your limit.

Love,
MAO

If that isn't enough pep talk to give you the reins of guidance, then when you accept the brew into your body work as much as you can with breath control before hand, once the waves start to roll in, I find internally the way to go is to breath "easy" through all the heated clammy mentally uncomfortable parts which soon give way when you break your threshold wall. Following the breath is the way the aya spirit has come to me before it shows what it needs to show, otherwise that's what I can say that is solid to aid you through ever changing time, you know yourself best so be instinctual!

The only thing to fear is fear itself.

Winston Churchill said it best: "If you find yourself in hell, keep going."


I can relate to your fears. I don't know how to bust through them with confidence. If we can conquer our fears one by one, I feel it makes us stronger human beings. Problems come up when fears overwhelm people, and rather than work through them, they cower, hide from them, and remain tormented by their memory. Go towards the pain. Aya told me that. It said those exact words: "Go towards the pain."

My experiences are always better if I avoid diving in when I'm feeling frazzled or angsty. It's better when I'm having a calm and relaxed day to begin with.

Hey I went through with it.

I drank and purged a good amount, I haven't drunk that much in a while because of the taste. I forced myself to drink 3 cups and on the last cup I added about 50-80mg of DMT fumarate. On the first two drinks I held them in for a good amount of time but the purges came and with power. It was good.

I went outside and looked in the sky (I have had a weird fear of the sky since I looked in the sky on ayahuasca, I saw and felt the expanse and it scared the shit out of me in pure amazement) and had a blanket to sit on and to pull over myself to make a dark space. When going into the dark space I remember it was like a building up furnace of heat, but it wasn't heat, it was dark negative evil energy. I saw something like coffins slowly flying around in a dark red space. It didn't scare me. I wanted to go further and I did.

I think the experience was good, It reconnected me to a great sense of euphoria and bliss. I also felt like some kind of shaman warrior and was jumping around doing deep breathing with a lot of power, it was great to experience that haha.

I would recommend anyone to do this. My suggestion would be to do pharmahuasca though soo you can accurately know your dose. Doing too much all in one may overwhelm you and you may "bite off more than you can chew".

Soo I would split it into three doses like I did, having harmalas with a low admixture and add DMT yourself to get the right dose. I would just stay with a low-mid dose at first and then jump into a solid medium dose.

Peace

Are you doing this by yourself?

A few months ago I had a very traumatic Ayahuasca session (I got WAY overconfident with my dosage). The entire trip was me barely holding on to reality and freaking out completely, and eventually believing I had died.

Some time later I decided to have a small dose of ayahuasca and even though I wasn't overpowering at all, I was terrified because I had terrible flashbacks from my last session and ended up calling a friend in panic to come to my place.

So a few weeks ago, I decided to have a moderate-heavy dose of ayahuasca despite my fears. My pre-anxiety was awful and I couldn't stop thinking I had made a mistake after consuming the brew. Turned out to be a completely Euphoric and loving experience and all my trauma from the other time was alleviated. I couldn't remember why I was so afraid of it!!!

*I just realized you've done it already, so this is for any one else it can help*