I just joined the forum. I read the attitude guidelines (which I like way better than having set rules) and one of the suggestions was to write an introduction about yourself. This is my introduction. The beginning doesn't directly relate to DMT but it is an important part of my journey that led me to DMT so be patient with me
Age 1-2: I remember very early parts of my life, including shopping for stuffed animals with my mom for my 2nd birthday. I was self-aware from a very young age. I thought everyone saw angels like me and that it wasn't weird to just "know" certain things about people without being told. I would embarrass my mother my sharing my "knowledge" with people. but mostly because it turned out to be correct (and usually a little awkward
Age 2-6: I would have very vivid dreams, see things that didn't fit in with objective reality as I was slowly learning that other people experienced the world very differently than I did. I like to joke that I have always been naturally "tripping" since birth (and when I learned that the pineal gland makes DMT I connected the dots and I think mine makes more than most people's....) I had some bizarre experiences around this age (2-6) that might be qualified as paranormal but to me they seemed normal.
Age 6-13: This is when shit really hit the fan for me. The closer I got to puberty the more and more strange things started happening. I had no frame of reference for what was going on with me....Christian upbringing doesn't really provide a decent template for this kind of thing....there are either angels or demons and that is it....no diversity as far as the spirit world goes. My experiences weren't fitting into that narrow binary and it confused the hell out of me to say the least. I had my first out of body experiences, lucid dreams, entity attacks , astral projection to other realms/planes, and a few positive entity contacts as well.
Age 13-16: I start to worry that I am "crazy." I find out that not everyone experiences synesthesia like I do . I find out not everyone sees geometric shapes floating in mid air, tracers, figures, distortions, orbs, lights etc etc. I never did any drugs during high school....zero...zilch...I was pretty straight edge. So I know I wasn't experiencing flash backs or persistent hallucinogen perception disorder. I start having migraines and as part of the diagnostics I receive a battery of tests that rule out epilepsy, seizure disorder, and I even get an MRI (turns out completely normal). I keep my experiences to myself but they stress me out because of the intensity and the lingering fear that I am insane somehow.
Age 17-24: This period was very rough but the journey was necessary. I go to therapy for depression and take the MMPI and some other tests....There are no indications of schizophrenia (in fact my therapist jokes that I am one of the most rational people she has ever encountered). I also try LSD and psylocibin and realize that the stuff I see on those substances is just like my normal reality but amplified 1000 times. I never get into these substances hard-core though but i did value the few experiences I did have with them.
Age 25-28: I did an ayahuasca preparation of DMT twice during this period. Wow....words are not enough to describe what I experienced but I will try.
Experience 1: Travelled through time, space, history, dimensions. Met an entity that guided me and took me wherever I asked as well as answered questions (They also had a bitingly sarcastic sense of humor and wit). The only question they would not answer was when I wanted to know their name....but I persisted and finally they said to call them the architects. They reminded me of a slightly more benign and less petty version of Q from Star Trek...lol. I relived my entire childhood, worked out some issues I had been ignoring for years, and got some guidance/closure as to my I was the way I was (as far as why I saw stuff but wasn't "crazy"
I was told that they (you can just insert spirit world, multi-dimensional beings, whatever...I have no set beliefs really in this area since I have found they restrict my learning) had been watching me since I was young and that the reason they came to me all the time was because as a child I reached out to them with my mind and they heard me. I was told that I was traveling a life path of a knowledge seeker, magician, shaman (again...call it what you will) and that thousands of others before me had tread this path and that when I died thousands more would keep on the same path....basically, I should stop worrying about being crazy or different because I was actually like quite a lot of people (just a very specific subset of people).
I was told that the inevitable conclusion of my life path would be to permanently leave my physical body (through death) but that I would continue on as an individual consciousness and that I would be amazed if I could see the places I would go, the people I'd meet, etc when I left this plane. I was even offered a chance to die right then and there if I wanted...I saw a beautiful multi colored rainbow iridescent portal and told that if I went through it I would leave my physical body permanently (die) and start the next phase of my journey. The entity told me it was entirely up to me but noted that I was still in love with the physical world (not in a bad way or anything...I just love being alive). They said they didn't think I was ready to make that transition and I respectfully took their advice and declined to step through the portal.
Later, towards the end of the experience I ended up in a kind of matrix-ish environment. Maybe what I saw were the machine elves...I don't know...but there were a lot of them. There was a huge tower, like a sky-scraper full of mostly empty offices. I wandered into one of the offices and came upon a machine elf at a desk. It looked up, with surprise, and said "You're not supposed to be here." Not upset, just matter of fact. I tried to communicate that I meant no harm and I only wanted to look around. The elf said "alright, let me know if there is anything you want to look at in particular, don't bother anything, or get into trouble...you'll be leaving here soon anyway so you might as well look around while you still can." I asked the elf why certain parts of the room were "fading" out...like some of the wall looked like a wall but other parts just looked like a bare grid or lattice the elf told me that was because at this level of reality humans don't usually show up so there isn't any point "putting on a show" or making that part of reality congruent/consistent. He said they (the elves or whatever these guys were) spend all of their time constructing reality and they put most of their effort into keeping our reality consistent or "the way it is supposed to look." They also engineer other dimensions and realities too. I asked if the elves were like God (in the sense of a creator/director) and the elf kind of laughed and said "NO!" He said the elves, even with their seemingly daunting task of constantly keeping the universes "patched" and up to date, did not create the universe. In fact, the elves don't know who created them or why, but they don't really care who made them or why...they just do what it appears they were meant/designed to do ... I asked about the different Gods that humanity has worshipped over the ages and he said those were designed and introduced into our consciousness by the elves on purpose because they were part of the reality program the elves were running....they would try different religions on humanity as a kind of never ending "bug-fix" trying to sort us out and keep our dysfunction to a minimum...of course humans would take these religions and sometimes screw them up or take them to a bad place so the elves would have to introduce another religion to replace the previous one. According to the elf, religion is the most efficient way to control/change humanity in large numbers. I asked him what the elves were called and he said the same thing the other entity had said...he said they were "The Architects."
There was a lot more but I don't want to write a novel
i also experienced what I could best describe as "divine" love and realized that it is the most powerful force in the universe. I also experienced gut-wrenching pure evil soul crushing despair that was so awful I thought my mind would crack. However, right when I thought I couldn't take it anymore the feeling switched to pure love....I think I was supposed to experience the 2 extremes so I could get a better idea of the nature of the feelings.
Experience 2:
2 years later....it was much less intense in the sense that I never met any entities on this trip or had such widely varying emotional experiences. It was more like my astral body wanted to get up and out and play. I kept merging with the things in my environment and de-merging and it was delightful. I also saw the things around me merge and de-merge. I felt what it was like to experience less localized consciousness as well as take in more sensory information than usual. I had some realizations about human evolution, our connection to other primates, and the silliness of the idea that non-human animals don't have "souls" or consciousness...I realized even chimpanzees interact with the unseen world...perhaps with more ease than the average human. I learned to not treat animals and plants and other things in my environment as non sentient....everything had a consciousness even if I couldn't directly apprehend it.
Anyways...thanks for reading. I look forward to meeting like-minded people here. This place seems pretty tolerant of different types of people and experiences. Also, please don't anyone be offended by what I said about the architects creating human religions...I am only reporting what I experienced...I don't have any set ideas on the matter.