Has anybody here had an encounter with the shadow? Like, a true encounter, perhaps with what Buddha called the 10,000 terrible visions? The hell realm? Dante's underworld?

I've had a couple brushes when I have taken what seemed to be too much drugs. I was too young and immature to have any idea what was happening, and instead of diving in like a warrior, I froze, locked up, and freaked out. But I know it's there, that feeling, pulling the strings on all of my seemingly innocuous bad habits that combine to keep me right where I am.

I took a certain empathogen the other night with a dear friend and we did yoga and had a cathartic exploration of some deeper levels, and I could see clearly the need to not only approach the shadow, but to dive into it's heart and be willing to be ripped apart by it. The energy of the thing is indescribable. Until my session the other night, I had repressed my experiences with it, but it came back up and I remembered the ultimate primal fear. The thing that I had been avoiding my whole life. I don't know what's inside that energy ball. My fear of death? I just know that the fact that it remains unconscious is allowing it to sit a the helm of my inertia based life, keeping me repeating things on a deep level that consciously I know I need to give up. Out of all the reading I have done, nothing pegs the feeling like Carl Jung's "Red Book." He knows that feeling of ultimate existential despair, which is the only way I can describe it.

I have an unprecedented opportunity right now of three months with no work, and a small cottage all to myself to do yoga, meditate, and create a disciplined routine to try to follow this rabbit hole to the bottom. Has anyone else embarked upon this? Consciously, I am a happy person, but deep down, it feels like the journey I must take, and I would love some family input. Love ya'll.

Edit: I should add, the cottage I'm in is VERY isolated on a small island. I basically have the perfect situation right now to dive deep, and I came prepared. IE, I seem to have found a piece of paper that divides into ten pieces that should be helpful in accessing "that space" again. I'm scared. Last time I brushed up against this thing, I thought people were trying to kill me, and I was in a heavy slump for some months afterword. It took place in the least supportive context I could ever imagine.

Right now is nearly three years since that experience, and I have a much more settled mindstate to make this journey with. The thing is, I will be alone. Completely alone in a country where nobody even speaks the same language as me. I know the deal, and I have taken strong doses of various things solo in the past. It's just that this time, it feels like a truly vertical leap into places I have yet to even imagine. That's just my intuition. I would be so very grateful for any experienced journeyers to weigh in with some input.

I don't know if this provides any new information to you, but personally I had not even heard about the shadow and found it very enlightening since I'm dealing with people with shadows that show their face every here and there.

From Psychedelic Science 2013:

Ann Shulgin Q&A Session: "Understanding the Shadow"

as far as I understand it, the shadow is just repressed parts of self... so there's nothing to fear, because it's your own personal energy, just needs conscious insight, understanding, and re-integration

and if you have a deep fear of death, that's absolutely natural; it just needs to be properly understood. maybe this can help; https://www.dmt-nexus.me...aspx?g=posts&t=50863

Going to the dark side? Bring a light, it's dark ober dere... maybe this will help;

http://www.anoniem.org/?...is-running-you-life.html

I definitely can relate to your need to face the shadow. I find acid specifically helpful for this kind of work, though if you get distracted in mid-journey it can become a bit frustrating without any real confrontation or resolution. It might sound silly but one thing that really helped me when I tried something like this was having a circle on the ground in which I was sitting and telling myself that I would not leave the cirlce until I had resolved this inner issue. The visual barrier I had drawn became the inner barrier that I had to break through. In summary, I think LSD can be a good tool for shadow-work but I think it's also useful to consider some other tools and preparations to help the trip get going in the right direction.

Good luck.

Thank you for mentioning this technique! I will definitely consider it. I wish I had some other tools available, but I'm in a position where these ten hits will be all I can get my hands on for at least the next 3 months. I'm thinking of testing it with a single hit, and then depending on how the strength is, I'll have the potential for 3 substantial journeys. I'm aware of the distraction potential, but I have about 10 weeks of solitude to meditate and get my concentration to a focused level. Thanks for the inspiration everyone, I will report back!

In my experience the opposite is actually more true; what I mean here is that "concentration" narrows the mind, you want your mind to be relaxed, calm, and composed when doing this, since those are all qualities for expansion. Focus is absolutely good and vital, but more peaceful relaxation, and less concentration; concentration in and of itself is a little constricting. If you can manage to calm and relax yourself and your mind, more insights will be able to filter through than if you were to concentrate it on one-pointed focus. You want an all-inclusive awareness, not constricted to single-pointed. Think of many, not one, or in other words simultaneously active; multi-tasking, not concentrated and single-tasking.

Hope that made sense somewhat, it's more expansive and efficient

well i have had my dark night of the soul , i have seen the monsters at the back of my mind

well i am done with all that now

for when i opened my eyes these shadows disappeared like the illusions they were , when immense light illuminates the mind , all the shadows disappear even the one you call your own

what is left is only the light , for light dissolves all

Other tools can be very simple things; I was not referring to other substances. For me writing down my intentions and then kind of free-associate often helps. Sometimes doing random browses on the internet or reading the right book right before the trip leads to a sentence/a paragraph that really helps me through my journey. Tools can be symbols that set your mind in the right mood or other things you deliberately put into your setting - from the way you dress to the lighting you use. If you are going to enter the world of the subconscious, remember that speaks a slightly different language than you do. Speak to it. And be creative.

Good luck

Ah, I see what you mean Enoon. Thank you all so much for your wise words. I will most certainly report back as the process continues to evolve.

Very beautiful and sooo true ... Loving your shadow I found to be very important we really need to love our light and dark sides forgive ourselves as well as others
repressed and stuck in the closet type of work to bring it all back out

Dont forget the Light and Love during hard times they will always help you threw the pain