Hello everybody! I'm based in California and can't imagine living anywhere else! I'm going to college right now, but that's sort of on the back-burner of my life. College to me is mostly just a safety net, worst comes to worst I have my degree and can get a job that pays reasonably. The rest of my life is basically the pursuit of happiness, whatever I can do to enjoy life or improve myself as a person. I think my highest calling is to make ME happy and understand myself. I used to be a very angry, sort of elitist type of person, but I've moved away from that idea of myself. I like to think that now, I'm a rather intelligent person and I'm much more in contact with my emotions. I don't know exactly what *The Answer* is, but I feel like I'm moving in its direction.
Trip Report :
*A little background info first, kind of unnecessary*
I guess the best way to talk about my experiences with psychedelics is from the beginning, and that's the Joe Rogan Experience podcast. At the time I started listening to the podcast I must have been 15 and the things that Joe and his friends were saying just rung inside of me. It was like I had found a religion for myself (I've been atheist from an early age, EXTEREMLY skeptical of anything spiritual/not physical). He always talked about smoking weed and how he had been tricked by society to think that weed was bad.
Well I was a pretty straight-edge kid, very introverted and got straight A's. I had considered suicide several times around the 6th grade. I was very egotistical and kind of an asshole to put it simply.
Well I watched a documentary on weed, The Union : The Business Behind Getting High, and the facts blew me away. After that I knew I had to smoke some weed. So probably a year later, I did, and to be honest I didn't really like it at first. Looking back on it, I think I was just getting too high and I had done it alone every time.
After maybe a month of experimenting with the Herb, I turned 16 and bought myself a car, and I began smoking with other people a lot. At that point I loved it and now I have a great relationship with tree.
It was during this 16-17 year old time that I experimented with mushrooms, since Joe had also spoken very highly of them, as well as DMT. (DMT is something I still want to try, but I'm not in a particular rush to do so)
Trip #1:
Joe had talked about how the mushrooms kill your ego, make you understand other people, realize your own psychological/emotional baggage, etc. All of these things sounded like exactly what I needed, and to prepare myself I read a number of trip reports from Erowid and listened to additional podcasts about the topic (I'm a very 'heady' person, in that I think and over-think a lot)
My first trip me and my friends did a lot of running around in my car, finding someone to buy from and such. Then trying to figure out how we were going to find the time to take them together, since we were all a little nervous about tripping alone. Eventually they sort of chickened out and I went home. I sat in my room for a while in this weird state of anxiety/excitement/fear. My parents wouldn't be home for a solid 6 hours or so, what the heck, I'll just take them now.
I ate half of my 8th, worrying that I wouldn't be able to handle the rest. 10 minutes after, I compulsively at the 2nd half, and instantly the fear went away. I knew that what I had just done could not be undone, so I had no reason to fear.
I just sat and talked to my friends on Skype, who were astonished I had taken my mushrooms by myself.
+0:50-1:00 I felt really high and while talking to my friends I was kind of rambly and silly. I remember realizing that as I was getting higher, the feeling was getting really intense (at this point it was mostly a body high). I suddenly got the feeling that what I had done was not going to be as easy as me sitting there and seeing funny colors, I realized there was going to be some extremely deep introspection. I told them this, and then hung up the Skype call.
The rest of the trip, I don't remember all too well.
+1:30-2:00 I remember then going out into my living room and walking around, thinking "Man, I'm so high!" I went outside and jumped on my trampoline.... it felt AMAZING. I jumped for probably 3 minutes then got the sudden feeling that I couldn't keep doing this, that I had more important thoughts to have. At that point I walked back into my room and started thinking about my little trampoline expedition. It seemed like an analogy for life. Me leaving the comfort of my little home was like me exiting the womb. Getting up on the trampoline was me growing up, and the process of jumping and feeling the wind and the sensation of weightlessness was like me being an adult and pursuing my life desires. Then my realization that I had to leave was like my accepting death and entering the house was like.....
At that point I simply laid in my bed for the remainder of the trip, thinking intensely about what I know and what I don't know, as well as about who I am. I recorded myself, because I had this intense feeling of just 'knowing' and I really felt like I needed to capture it for my sober-self. I kept talking of 'Duality'. That the whole world was of duality, feminine & masculine, red & blue, heat & cold, solid & gas. The thoughts got deeper as I realized that each duality was simply a one thing, but in different ways; light and the lack of light, sight & and the lack of sight, my plate being on this table & the lack of plateness. Looking back on this I think these thoughts were very silly and immature, but hey, it was my first trip. I'm still very new to psychedlics, having only taken mushrooms 4 times now, but I think now my ideas of duality and such are much more 'refined'.
I had not ever heard of the singularity prior to this, but I think the end result of all these thoughts was of the singularity.
I realized every person's most basic/primal motive was to love and be loved.
As far as visuals go I didn't see much more besides melting walls. I was so excited the whole time I never really closed my eyes to see how that was. In the end I came out with a little more introspection on myself, but also an intense feeling of love and kindness.
As I came down I shared my knowledge on Skype and finished Bioshock Infinite (And if you know the ending to that game, you'll know that going through that while on mushrooms was quite intense/mind-blowing)
Trip #2
Probably another 3 months after that I took another 8th at school and it ended up being very un-productive. I was basically just high at school, needing to hide it didn't allow me to think.
Trip #4
And about 7-8 months ago, I took 7g at my drug-dealer's house and... well, that was an experience all right. That trip also was mostly unproductive, except for the very end. I'd like to talk about that trip as well, since I remember it pretty well,and actually put some time into writing it well (unlike this ^ trip report).
Sometime I'll type it up and maybe even submit it to Erowid, if anyone is interested. But this post is already huge and poorly written, especially for my first.
Also, I'm getting some LSD soon and seeing as how I've grown so much as an adult and a man, I'm very excited to get to try that with some friends in a forest nearby.