So I have noticed a pattern in my experiences. I dosed just recently after a long abstinence and it was even more pronounced as the messages blazed all around that were personal to me. After having this experience it occurred to me that they are all very deeply personal and are always filled with some sort of information that I need to apply to my waking life. (I've pretty much known this but its been many months since I have dosed)

It's almost as if I am being shown the mental mechanics that drive consciousness, my thoughts and feelings, the mechanics of my actions ect. This recent dose I was able to mentally maneuver inside this virtual representation of the mental me. It wasn't thoughts that allowed me to manipulate this state, thoughts actually got in the way and seemed very counter productive. I was aware of 2 possibly 3 different entities. One of them stayed fixed in what I could call my POV. The other, felt as though it was female, took up residence in more of a surround sound style sensation. But replace sound with sensation of awareness of this entity. I'm not quite sure about this third entity, but I feel there might have been another.

This first entity showed me visuals of the normal amazing style that only DMT can provide. Which started out very dim and hard to see. They have done this before and I think it's cause I havent felt ready for another DMT experience. When I realized this the visuals became clear and pronounced. Lots of Gold colors. Which has been the theme of 3 doses I took not long ago that were around 10mg.

I quickly realized this entity was taunting me. He was pretty much saying "Oh you just wanna see stuff huh? Well here's some cool stuff to look at!" in a sarcastic way. It's been awhile so I forgot a lot about dosing. I was also aware that I was slightly uncomfortable, I wasn't really enjoying being on DMT. I forced a smile and at first it didnt do much, the feeling of fear and not being comfortable were moderate. I have had a lot of anxiety even thinking about dosing for quite some time and it was hard to enjoy this.

I was able to use this force smiling, one of my old Jedi tricks for DMT, to break out of this feeling of being uncomfortable with being on DMT. I sort of hinted at this entity in charge of showing me visuals (We'll call him FRED) that "No, im not here for fun and games. This is serious business" or something along those lines. So then FRED went onto the next fear.

This next fear was completely created and instilled into me from my godhead dose. The feeling that somehow DMT was effecting my brain. My godhead dose caused me to panic and I ended up thinking I fried my brain, until I came down. Anyways, FRED then did the whole "visuals passing through your brain, folding YOU and unfolding YOU at the same time" kind of thing. I felt the fear that DMT can effect my brain and then I put out there to FRED a new way for me to feel about this. Which was "No, thats just a very strange sensation for you to be able to manipulate what feels like the whole ME being changed and shifted..." so on and so forth.

I was able to kind of relax and ponder the whole experience after this, while FRED continued to give me something cool to look at, but this time it had meaning to it rather than just a cool laser light show. Now this whole time APRIL, the surround sound entity, was just there kind of comforting me or helping me along, or maybe she was just observing. Like this was a test. I ended up falling into a fit of laughter as I felt the peak drop off. I couldn't stop laughing, as is common, THEN at this point in time a friend who was in the room with me and had just gotten out of a dose put on a song.

Now this song has meaning to me. An earlier DMT experience had attached a strong emotional feeling to this song. Tears start to well up and trickle out of my eyes BUT without the normal sensation you feel while crying (DMT does some insanely awesome things) I was laughing hysterically during this. I've had this phenomenon happen a couple times before but its so strange. The song triggered it, for sure.

I am not sure how big the dose was. My friend dosed right before me and I just decided to hit the GVG to see if there was anything left while he was in. My guess would be close to 15mg. Although I have been able to go pretty deep on 15mg before, even breakthrough.

Whats your common theme or is this the same for everyone? DO you notice any patterns?

Woah Anrchy. This is a lot to take in. I agree with the majority of what you said. For example, "It's almost as if I am being shown the mental mechanics that drive consciousness, my thoughts and feelings, the mechanics of my actions ect." I have felt this feeling with other psychedelics, and also with Ayahuasca. I believe you and I have spoken about my more difficult and rather weird experiences and how I felt about them. Either way, I have had the similar experiences.

But, Yes I do see patterns when smoking similar doses or even phases are noticed to repeat. Say if you smoke a higher dose you pass through all the phases of the lower doses and you can see the similarities. I believe Terrence explained similar concepts with the chrysanthemum.

Ta-Ta

I also have common themes that tend to relate to very personal emotions and fears. So much of what you said here rings true to me as well. Often, if I am shown images, it is a test or lesson of some sort, usually relating to traversing in hyperspace and staying attentive. For example, last night I took 50 mg FB in a Volcano vaporizer and found myself in a room covered in wild fractal patterns with little gecko's that would spin and dance around. It was VERY intense, wild greens and blues, with the lines of the designs being made of light. At the peak of the experience, I opened my eyes for a moment, to see the same thing fully open eyed. When I closed them again, i noticed something in the left of my periphery. As I focused my attention to that spot, I noticed a Frog- man wearing a top hat and tuxedo jacket. He was hiding over there the whole time.. The designs I was looking at were merely his tail, which he had wrapped around me. ( the tail was one of those impossible DMT things.. It was small and stubby, but could extend out like the tail of a comet. After I realized what I was seeing the scene changed and I was flooded with information and the feeling of being healed as this frog entity climbed into my body. This created another absurdity/ fear that I had to get over.. Same kind of thing as you explained.. Often my trips take on this kind of theme.. When ever i come across lizards or amphibian type entities, they always play hide and seek with me before blowing my mind or working with me in which ever way. Often it feels like a challenge of some sort. I've also had the feeling that what I am being shown in those very abstract parts, are inner workings of mind.. And maybe not just my mind, but consciousness itself.. I have a theory that entities on that side can work on us and on the group consciousness by way of manipulating the hologram, if you will. So If I receive throat surgery, It doesn't happen physically, but transfers over the same way a hologram would. I've also had experiences where I feel like I am being shown programs within my subconscious. Sometimes entities will climb across a board of symbols and change certain ones.. They will then look at me to see and ask if I comply/concur with the change.. Some part of myself does or does not, but I have no conscious control over that part, it seems. I am always left with a stronger feeling of self control after these types of experiences.. i have quit drinking and smoking.. My weed consumption has also dropped significantly.. I also related with your "smiling through it" thing. i do that also.. Very helpful technique for when things get heavy. Blessings. Thanks for sharing your experiences.. It always blows my mind how similar everyones experiences can be with this wonderful stuff.

I've long time had the theory that sub breakthrough doses were like a debug mode for our consciousness. Although as far as I can remember even my breakthroughs seem to have this theme.

One time I had a breakthrough where I was inside a grid like something, and there were multiple things that I could choose between to take back with me, like a bunch of nodes containing an important understanding of something about myself. It was made aware that I could only choose like one or two. Also It was required that I consciously attempt to remember it in order to bring it back. Like when you wake from a dream, if you don't start reminiscing about your dream you could forget it.

Very strange.

An endless array of realities co-mingle, each from the perspective of an individual being. The shared dream. Dream stuffs for sure. It is you....all the time.

much love,
tat

Nice report anrchy.

I suppose it can only be an extension of our own experiences in life, not just personal life stuff but the experience of existing, of being material, of motion and mind and the subtleties wrapped up in all of these things.