Hi! Welcome. I think your question is a good, universal question a lot of people go through. DMT has an uncanny way of making you face the root of fears and anxieties you are holding on to. I know plenty of people that are grown adults, and for whatever reason, they can't seem to even handle THC. The smallest inkling of self reflection or paranoia puts them into a downward spiral, and afterward they swear it off like it is bad voodoo. It's a personal thing in ways. Everyone clings to something. Some people cling to what they know as reality, and fear the unknown.
Personally, I love cliff diving. Give me a warm day, warm water, and the open, liberating sensation of connecting with nature in a very Newtonian kind of way, and I become giddy like a child on the inside. But it is scary every single time. Literally, every dive of my life has utterly shaken me to the core, and reverberated back out of me, making me feel as weak and fragile as a kitten. But that's also part of what I have grown to love about it. I try to explain to people how these sensations of the scariest dive of your life can feel so wonderful and rewarding, but very few people seem to understand. Diving, to me, is very psychedelic. You learn to trust your body, your mind's relationship with your body, and your body's relationship with the Earth. Then you just do it, and a love for life is the final reward for mastering the art of going through all that emotion before, during, and after.
Ultimately, if you've done your homework and prepared well, the only thing that can go wrong is fear mucking up something your body and mind are fully capable of experiencing gracefully, and with pleasure. With diving, maybe it was just one tiny little grain of sand that got under the skin of your sole, and caused anxiety to get in the way of normal execution and release, and then you take a hard body slap as a result. That can take some time to get over, but to swear off diving after one bad experience... It seems ludicrous to me. But that's just me. People tell me they think I'm crazy for cliff diving. It's all relative. I'm sure some people feel uncomfortable by merely glancing at a fractal image, or by the thought of a dynamical system being described by a simple system of equations. "Oh no! Complexity is bubbling out of almost nothing!" It's all relative. Is anything truly easy in life? Boredom and ignorance is easy, IMHO. Holding onto fears is easy. Facing them and letting them go, one by one is the very hard, but very rewarding path (for me). It's just an emotion. Emotions are invented instincts of our mammalian brains. We can master them like any of the forces of nature.
You've come this far. Now listen to your heart. If it's not in you to keep pushing into this realm, then don't. Or wait. Move on. Don't worry about it. It would be ridiculous for me to take people to the top of a cliff and try to convince them diving is a wonderful idea. It's a personal thing. You're either inclined to do these things, or you're not. No one of sound mind judges this type of personal choice. No one. Fears are normal. DMT is not for everyone.
Best wishes to you, my friend! May all your journeys bring you peace!