I'm not sure where I stand at this point, beside on my own feet. It seems this has been a time in life to bring the most turbulence, but there I am standing. At one moment it seems like a tragedy , standing still while the worlds carries on. As if I am watching from a tower high above, observant yet distant.

In the same glance I am amazed there is a functioning conscious left and ask how, but the real question, is there?

In the past 2 years I have had a son, I have lost a best friend 10+ yrs, I have lost my mother due to a sudden heart attack, found out my real father whom i never met died in a house fire, had a 12 year relationship shredded, seen my blood family disintegrate developed panic/anxiety fits and have found the true meaning of Cognitive Dissonance.

I have taken a leave from most ethnos and substances ,except for cannabis for awhile. I have slowly started putting my toes back in the water with some 2 cs, I've got a write up on this that I posted but wrong place and didn't have proper permissions yet any way, but to soon.

and last night , which for some reason is what drove me to make this post, not sure why, but I dont have to be.

I had cut my cacti a few days ago, some I've had for 8 years. It was a mix of pedro, torches and little brig, 14lb total. started making a acetate sludge, made 2 cups from about 4 gallons, and 10'Oc last night. We went to go drink, it all hits the floor, glass shatters, I step on it and slice my foot bad, running the trip last night, years of growing, and my trip to the NC state zoo with friends, smhummph!

But i did learn to fortify my acceptance trigger lol
I like plants a lot, I think... I grow a lot of plants lets say it that way.
Some useful, some not, other than there natural functions
Either way that a bit of back and present.

hmm, something about seeing it in words,
Thanks for letting me get that out,

and very nice to meet you all

Looks like your new here, so welcome to the Nexus.

I felt that on certain parts, I could connect with you. Somehow, being soon to die while having a son of my own, makes me feel that way. I am living on borrowed time right now. At least, thats what the docs say.

Hello omentheduck,

Welcome to the Nexus. Wow, that was quite an introduction. I'd give you a hug if I could. You have been severely and sorely tested it seems, and yet, still remain standing. You have my respect and admiration for this. Nonetheless, I am very sorry for your losses.

And oh man, the loss of your cactus brew, .

With all that you have been through, I praise you for proceeding slowly. Integration time is essential in my opinion. You can find more information on this (integration) in the Health & Safety link if you are interested.

As a self-grower and self-brewer/extractor, you are going to do just fine here, .

I encourage you to take some time to really take a good look around. I like to say about Nexus that the more one looks, the deeper it goes, .

Again, welcome.

Welcome Sorry that life has been trying to kick you down but so happy you are still standing too seems you are strong and some times we need to be reminded hugs buddy xoxox

I ment the tittle and Thanks for the welcome and the encouraging words, hugs!
I and now I find my self, again, lost in reading materials. But its not a bad thing.

and thanks now to reading, I am going to try some aya soon maybe this time with ACRB, not sure.

P.viridis I know , ya know... but gotta venture some time

and wilds, is that you , I know its your name but , you know the 3?

Yes it is me I kept the same name here
Some friends kept asking me to join here b4 so I knew it was the right place to come
like minded people here
I like this place friendly helpful teaching
Nice to see you again

lol that reminds me I had these seeds started this summer too P.viridis but the snails wouldnt let any of the plant grow I had one stick the snails would eat the leaf off every morning
I moved it to a place it get less snails but it was too late I would love to try again to grow this one inside ... altho I may not have room eventually my indoor garden might out grow the house have a Mimosa Hostilis indoors now tiny for now but who knows how big it get

Man sorry to hear that, they got my marigolds but not the viridis. Really good to see ya again too, any one else here?

yea thus far it seems like a very nice fit, I love the info and the people here seem spot on and friendly ,

and do ya know what happend at home? I cam back to a read only and have been acces any thing on it?
and I think they get to be a decent size , not sure of the growth rate though, I was thin-kn bout trying my hand at a few new plants but the require green house environments and my got busted in the last move, o well time to make a bigger one lol

Yes some others are here as well

I am thinking about a green house more and more each year as the collection grows I gave away some other house plants to make room for cacti ... I want to only have food and medicinal s growing in the house

awesome, I love my ornamental but as the cuttings grow... space does not!

And I love giving plants, I think thats the only reason I keep propagating them

A good riddle i heard.
What gets bigger the more you take away?

LOL I am not very good at riddles but many plants are that way u take part of them away and they get bigger

I have one spider plant I will always keep but the cats like it lol a variegated kind in the same pot with an all green one

I will always have a few plants in the garden that are just pretty but they are nice for so many reasons I pick flowers for other women sometimes giving them to their man to give to them to brighten their day so I guess I will keep some ornamental's but ya no room inside for everything and since I stared collecting special magic medicinal's and edibles no room

I love collecting different plants that I have never heard of love showing them to company oh like the mimosa pudica when u touch them they move but if u over touch them they might not live threw the year ooops on a few occasions I cant help it they are so cute the way they move have to show everyone that comes into my yard

plants work too, but I was thinkn a hole lol, and yea the only one I had.
Not sure of the type, I over touched it showing it off as well but ya live and learn.

I gotta say collecting plants of any type had been a hobby of mine for awhile too but I have had to slim down this year , succulents are now the most preferred lol

succulents love them

I have some in the garden some sedum some hens and chickens I collect different ones of these too cause they have low water requirements

I use hens and chicken plants like I would use Aloe Vera

I have read that some sedum are edible? havent tried ....
Hens and chickens had a common name with house leeks they were a substitute for onion but i am sure they do not taste like onion

hahaha I get it now went back and read it again lmao bad memory great joke lol good one to try and catch the kids on thanks