Hi,

I'm going to welcome myself to this forum with some experiences of DMT that a friend keeps having.

At low doses freebase DMT & changa (not together) gives my friend a feeling of oneness, flowing being like he could be himself, with visuals both open and close eyed.

However, at higher doses the trips go disgustingly bad. He has the disconnection with normal reality and everything goes a bit spacey; extruded and more prominent hd colours as if he is about to step foot into the next dimension.

But then what happens is reality goes sharp, distorted and twisted; the is no beginning and end, everything is connected but in a bad way like there is no escape. Like my friend is a puppet and he has no direction and there is complete loss of control.

What's going on inside his head is worse; he says it feels like he's lost his mind completely, starts thinking that he's worthless and his life is full of unfixable problems. There is a feeling that he will now have to be sectioned and stay at a mental hospital to be evaluated and looked after. He said he also felt his body cowering down.

A really bad experience which commonly happens to him on higher doses but he's trying to evaluate it positively. He has been angry, frustrated and anxious recently, not sure of his direction in life and thought that this could be the cure. Especially as at lower doses it had sort of been a temporary cure.

Ketamine has worked before as a cure, the ego-death was probably the most profound experience ever and gave my friend a very positive outlook on life.

Do you think my friend should sort out problems in his own head before attempting DMT/Changa again for a breakthrough? He really thought that DMT/changa could fix some of his problems, especially changa as it's meant to be more like a short ayahuasca trip.

There is a saying 'if you're going through hell, don't stop' which you could apply to smoking DMT/changa but would another toke put him in the breakthrough state or make the bad trip much more intense?

Online he has read 'dmt is just not for some people' however he thinks this is pretentious bullshit and thinks that dmt is only truly appreciated in the correct mindset. He understands fully that there is nothing wrong with dmt, that the faults (if you want to call them that) lie in his own psyche.

He has learned from the 'bad' trips how insignificant he really is, it ripped him apart and presented everything wrong with him. Afterwards it felt kinda like therapy, like these are things to accept and deal with rather than push them to the side.

Any form of advice would be much appreciated as he doesn't really know where else to turn.

Your friend is experiencing something fairly normal. At sub breakthrough doses of any psychedelic it's not unusual to have intense ruminations on your life and all the things wrong with it. You're seeing your whole life from a different perspective, in some ways a larger and more truthful one, and if the ego is still fighting for survival it can make for an ugly and fearful cocktail.

Your friend has a few choices: push through, which could potentially get very scary but could also offer the release from these things that you're looking for. Be very wary of looking at it as a "cure" though; at most it might show things that need to be changed in everyday life to improve the bigger picture. Psychedelics don't make that change, they can only point the way. Your friend will need to do the actual footwork.

The other choice is to just do all that work ahead of time before having a big trip. If your friend already knows the changes that need to be made, why wait? Then a psychedelic trip could be used as a means of evaluating those changes.

Thanks for the quick reply!

The ego fighting for survival sounds interesting and makes a lot of sense. He said there was definitely the feeling that his body was almost non-existant, blended with the alternate reality. But didn't quite get there.

He remembers on Ketamine that for the first few times he got close to real dissociation he thought he was dying; 'this is it, I've overdosed and I'm going to die' was the dominant thought. However, soon after actually experiencing a decent k hole, and then after that plenty more times, this feeling was welcomed. However, as ketamine seemed to alleviate his anxiety, 'crossing over' was much easier.

He understands this now!!

Next time he smokes, whether it's going good or bad, he'll take one more toke.

He felt like his life was all too much and he was about to have a breakdown in the trip, everything was all happening at once like the most stressful time of his life and it was all about to explode in his head to create something life changing. Could this of been the breakthrough about to happen but the dose wasn't enough to truly break through and create ego-death?

One more toke haha!!! He could of been there today!

Thanks again for the wise words as he had in the back of his mind that something was seriously wrong. Either way, DMT is an incredible experience and my friend still has a lot to learn.

I have done both, but I have come to learn that option two is more rewarding/ enjoyable/satisfying, especially when dealing with spice... Option one on acid, only for the experienced?

And Richard, what psychedelic experiences have you had besides K? Perhaps spending time in a k-hole doesn't earn much airmiles as a tripper when compared to mushrooms, lsd, mescaline or spice...(no offence)

None taken, I don't really like comparing ketamine to the substances you described either because they seem to be on another level. Ketamine is just a naughty man-made chem anyway which messes your head up so much that there isn't much free will (if any) within the trip to play around with.

My friend has had acid, mescaline, shrooms, salvia, 2ce, 2cb, and has mixed ketamine with mdma many times for enhanced hd viewing.

However, his acid experiences were with low quality or weak acid, trips were mild, nothing amazing, although good times with friends.

His mescaline trip was in Amsterdam after eating a cactus raw. Again this wasn't really a trip either, he just got some visuals in his hotel room.

Shrooms; he was so off his tits on a nasty cocktail of other narcotics, which drove him a bit insane for about a week, that the only thing he remembers seeing was glowing colours in his kitchen.

2ce & 2cb; not much either just swishing, swaying colours and blending.

Salvia; pretty self-explanatory.

To sum it up he hasn't had much luck with psychedelics; setting/dose has always been off and the sources have been nothing special.

So really he has never truely tripped on anything other than ketamine, salvia or dmt.

He has smoked dmt around 20 times with no true breakthrough. The first time he ripped a bong, probably burning about 20% of the spice with the flame (ouch). But that was crazy intense; aliens or some sort of creature was going into him and touching his crotch, 3d buddha man spinning in the corner, the whole thing was kinda like a more colourful, messed up version of 'it's a small world ride'.

He was not ready for that at all but knew he could cope if he started small and built up gradually. Also, now he smokes it properly.

Personally, I think it might not be a bad idea to sort some things out in your mind/life before you take another journey. I get the impression from your post that there may be some things going in in your mind or life that you acknowledge may need work. It sounds like you may just need to go into the experience with a different mindset, whatever that means for you. And as far as 'pretentious bullshit'... DMT is most definitely not for some people. Psychedelics are not for some people. Altered states are not for some people. Like you said, "dmt is only truly appreciated in the correct mindset". This is absolutely true. And some people are simply not capable of achieving, or not willing to achieve, a mindset conducive to benefit from the experience. I'm not implying that those with an appropriate mindset are somehow "better" or "more enlightened" than those without. Everyone has their own perception of things, and some people have a perception that is simply not compatible with alteration.

Could it not be possible that DMT could show my friend how to change different aspects of his life?

Even the severe negativity of the described trip (mainly the ego fighting ego death, if that's what it was) has given him more obvious areas to develop upon, although it's hard to remember them all. If he pushed forward further into full disconnection and breakthrough, could it unlock and show him truer knowledge of self?

Surely the mindset for DMT is not to have a mindset, as cheesy as it sounds, should it not be just to be? So meditation could help?

My friend is a very anxious person at this point in his life and is scared of a lot of things, he was like this as a child, but somewhat grew out of it in adolescence and found ways to deal with it, drugs did help and there was a time, for about a year and a half where everything in life made sense (even while sober), he felt in tune with reality, could talk to anyone about anything and was never afraid to be heard.

However, drugs got to him eventually and amongst other factors he found himself isolating himself from everything for about a year which really messed his head up. He's found 'recovering' from this very difficult, it's like living back as he did as a child, finds it somewhat harder to think for himself and is once again afraid of most things. Basically the complete opposite of the year and a half high point of his life. Life has basically become one massive comedown full of depression, anxiety and paranoia.

However, he remembers the 'trips' he had on K + MD before all of this; the way it made him feel completely in control of his own existence and everything around him was liberating and removed anxiety in daily life. He says he's trying to get that back and really hopes that DMT is the answer or can at least point him in the right direction. He just wants his mind back.

Sorry if this has turned into a therapy session haha but that's the basic story.

Let's not confuse "not having a mindset" with being meditative.

Practically speaking, you have a "mindset". There's not even a choice regarding this, is just mechanical behavior of the organic body.

Is there a clog in your sink? Fix it. Do you need to clean your house, do it. The subconscious "mind" is aware of much more than we can even imagine in the span of a lifetime, and its also aware of all these little things which can trigger a sudden loss of control over your own being.

Somehow psychs pull those up to be evaluated.

Especially with DMT. You don't want to be thrown into remedial classes when you know you could have just studied.

Absolutely, psychedelics, especially DMT, have shown me many parts of myself and my life to improve upon. And they continue to. But, I think if there is something in your life that is causing anxiety or depression or some other psychological discomfort, and you are already aware of how to improve on that, it certainly wouldn't hurt to begin said work ahead of time. I have found, in my experience, that having something negative on my conscious can cause troublesome psychedelic experiences. Like having an aspect of my life that I know I should improve upon, but having been ignoring or procrastinating it. Breakthrough psychedelic experiences can most definitely unlock and show a person truer knowledge of self. But if that "self" is one that the explorer will be severely displeased with, I could see possible problems arising.

On that note, I have benefitted in certain ways from a few experiences that have been very unpleasant while they occurred. But those types of experiences are quite a gamble. They can come with a certain degree of trauma. And, for some, there runs a risk of potential long-term psychological injury. I hate to see anyone damage any part of themself, especially the part that is so crucial, complex, and amazing.

I will not tell anyone what they should or shouldn't do with their own life and consciousness. But, if I were in your friend's position, I would make sure that I was in a place where I was reasonably comfortable in my life and my skull before diving deeper into hyperspace.

Okay, my friend did take into consideration everything that has been said here but decided to smoke again anyway. The first time he smoked again with friends in an environment where a tv was on, some talking, the experience came out kinda scary like he was in a space station, and the environmental distractions were a bit too much. This was really a time for his friends to experience it, and he thought he'd have a little just to trip at the same time.

That last paragraph is irrelevant after what happened about over the past hour.

Firstly, my friend was bored and as his parents were out he decided to beat his bacon as usual, except he thought he'd smoke a lil hit of changa at the same time to see what it was like.

The changa was not happy with this at all and responded by making my friend limp and showed the porno on his laptop as just flesh. When he looked down at his piece, it too was just flesh. Both the flesh on screen and his own physical looked equally disgusting like raw meat. There was an overwhelming feeling that the changa was highly offended with my friend trying to use it for his own pleasure. For this he felt guilty and ashamed and also that he needed to prove himself back to the changa.

He realised that he didn't deserve to breakthrough the way he was thinking; there was too much emphasis on what should or shouldn't happen.

Anyway, he smoked some more and got some of the bad effects he described in the original first post. However, this time he didn't view the 'bad' parts of the trip negatively, he accepted them and let them pass. He found this way that he was getting to know the changa's personality. It felt like playing hide and seek with a child; the energy would go back and forth between him and his environment.

This grew his confidence in dealing with it so he had a few more tokes, and this is where things got a lot more interesting.

Everything slowed down almost to a standstill, his hand movements were blurred and slow. He was travelling slowly into something else. He felt he couldn't stop gripping his pipe and wouldn't let it out of his sight as it was like a guardian as he ventured into the unknown. This felt like a limbo to the next world, as if he was reaching death, he felt very at ease like there were no more worries. So he took another toke.

The blurry vision got a bit too much and his eyes gradually closed. Through his he truely felt that he experienced death. Red connecting webs of thick sludge-like energy slowly pulsated, gradually speeding up and slowing down. With these movements his body responded by starting to shut down, increasing the feelings of death. Thoughts came that he was gone, this was part of the after life, he was dead.

After being in this state for about 5 minutes he wanted to get further so loaded 50mg of dmt in the vapo pipe on top of the changa. He tried to smoke this but got hardly any results, probably as the pipe had become too hot from 30 mins of smoking and the dmt got ruined. Usually this would be seriously infuriating, but he didn't care after what he just encountered.

Anyway, this is crazy powerful stuff. He said he found the best way for him to have a decent experience was to completely surrender his mind and body, so much so that his movements when loading up the final dose of dmt were sluggish, as if he was on the verge of passing out.

It seemed that showing the changa respect opened up another door and let him see a taste of what it has to offer.

Something really did feel alive in the trip, there was a serious sense of connection to something all knowing. DMT was showing only one small aspect of existence, as if it was saying 'here you go look at this for now and I'll show you something else later, maybe' If it showed my friend everything at once there would ultimately be no reason to go back.

If I am understanding correctly, you smoked changa while masturbating in your parents' house? I am not in the least bit surprised that the spice was displeased about that.

Dear Richard,

I can recommend you the books of Eckhart Tolle. I have read "A new earth" and "The power of now" and they are both great. Eckhart teaches about the ego and how it creates problems to enhance itself. He gives valuable tool to recognize its actions and go beyond its constrictions.

Much love

Robin

The first thing I would personally recommend is for your friend to start being more aware of every single aspect of his actions/behavior/mental nuances, as well as those presented to him in the trips. It's clear that there's underlying psychological issues (maybe not even due to the fault of the person, but the fact remains that you and I and your friend are aware that "something" is wrong, or off...)

I've never tried DMT, but I've tripped on mushrooms and LSD plenty of times to get a general idea of altered states, and I also have my fair share of childhood issues, which were ALL present in those trips, very subtle imagery and mental expressions that were clearly abnormal... at the time I did not recognize them as expressions of issues within myself, I just assumed they were visuals, "part of the trip"... I couldn't have been more off, but I also didn't know exactly what was wrong with me in order to piece the puzzle together untill many years later. So be aware of every little nuance, whatever problems are there will also be expressed in different forms in normal waking life. Yes, trips sometimes can be a more direct expression of them, if you know what you're looking for. But if you're not aware, then neither the trip, nor waking life hints at the issues are going to help you

If you're going through hell, don't stop, because you'll just get toasted, but at the same time go through hell with awareness. Conscious confrontation and acceptance of every single problem is the only thing that's going to get you out of your hell. No drug is going to "fix" your problems, as mentioned, you will have to fix your own problems (or your friend, whatever), but some drugs can give hints or show expressions which you may have otherwise been unable to see, so they can help, but they cannot fix anything.




First of all, it sounds like Ketamine was just a temporary patch, a bandaid on a shotgun wound.... yes it helped, but it relieved the symptoms while using, it never treated the disease.... which was evident when you say 2 years later the childhood issues all came back.

It's apparently clear that the root of the issues are somewhere in childhood, according to your own words, so I would start digging there.... go through every single memory you have, dig them all up, and see what you can see, and how it relates to your present life. Don't mask the symptoms, treat the disease

On that same note, don't cut the branches of the tree (there's no need to even fight with them), because it will just keep growing stronger through other dimensions and expressions of life.... dig up the root of the problems, and the tree dies on its own; branches and all. (by branches I mean specific expressions, some character flaw, for example... or multiple flaws that you're aware of, there's no need to fix specifics... if you can fix the root issue, the specifics will also die off.. the little problems are irrelevant, be aware of them but find the root of the big problem)

How you choose to go about doing that, whether drug assisted or not, is entirely up to you. I would take care of the problems that you KNOW you don't need drugs for (like digging up memories and doing some meditative introspection) before attempting further substance use, but again what you do and how you choose to approach it is entirely up to you. You asked for input, that's what I could gather from the information you provided and my own personal experience.


Best of luck, heal yourself, and "to thine own self be true"

By the way, this is not an overnight venture, or a "one trip solves it all", it's a lengthy process, but it's also one that you would have to go through if you ever hope to live your own life

Thank you for the lengthy response, what you've described is basically what my friend's been attempting to do for the past few years. Previously he would just ignore or deny the past memories or feeling, trying to block them or change them.

Through some drug induced states, but mainly through reading, he has learnt that it's best to deal with the 'problems' head on by accepting and embracing them. Fighting a part of yourself and trying to change it in a forceful way only turns your own being against itself, causing personality problems. You have to let the 'problems' become a part of you and accept them as part of yourself. After this there is no mental fight or struggle. This seems to create mental clarity and the problems gradually become less prominent and vanish. Whatever your body is feeling is right. I guess the same goes for your mind in terms of natural unforced thoughts.

My friend has been reading Alexander Lowen's 'Fear of Life' which has definitely shined some light on aspects of his childhood which may have created problems for him now. He did go to a therapist for about 4 months or so but it didn't really help at all. One therapist made him feel worse about himself and the other just gave him a bit of hope which didn't last long.

He agrees that drugs cannot be a cure to his mental troubles, which is obvious due to past events and not knowing how to deal with anxiety, depression, paranoia etc.

But the different perspective that psychedelics offered of himself and the universe has guided him in making him feel less detached and more in control of his own life. He knows there is a lot more work to be done but he definitely feels now that he is on the correct path and must balance mind exploration, reading and the participation in his own life in the 'real' world (e.g work, friends, hobbies etc).

My friend's heard of Eckhart Tolle, and now wishes he bought some of his books when he was on a book spending spree last month. More books may have to wait for a couple of months but they will definitely be on the list!

And yes Entheogenerator that is exactly right haha the spice was very upset and showed my friend what it was capable of when disrespected.

In psychological terms, this is referred to as "repression". Don't block, ignore, or try to change anything because it only clouds the clarity of the situation. If you block it, you sit on it and ignore it, it doesn't make it go away. In fact that which you resist, persists... in a way. And grows stronger in the subconscious/unconscious... and one day the bubble pops. If it pops because you've been sitting on it and pretending it's not there, it's not pretty, and there's no telling what it may do to the psyche in question. Being aware of it, and consciously working towards total understanding and resolution is really the only authentically healthy approach.


I really like the way you worded this statement, but it's not entirely correct. You see, one does not have a choice in letting the problems become a part of oneself, because if one is problematic, or problem-ridden, the problems are already part of oneself... so a better way to put it would probably be accept all parts of yourself in totality, don't deny or reject anything. Then the lacking bits can be consciously integrated, healed, and improved.

Another thing is that the problems don't "gradually become less prominent and vanish", they need resolution, some action or understanding on your part. On their own they won't simply "vanish". It's like trying to untie a knot in a rope by just letting it sit there. Yes, you are aware that the rope is knotted, but being aware of it alone is not going to untie the knot, you will have to consciously struggle with it and pull it in one direction and another before you get the knot untied. Then the problem is cleared, and you're free.


The anxiety/depression/paranoia needs proper understanding, proper insight... you will literally have to look at it from every angle and figure out why you have these expressions and where they stem from, then find the root of them. Then resolve the root issue. The anxiety/drepression/paranoia themselves are simply symptoms, or effects, not the cause... but they are clues to the cause and should certainly not be ignored.

Also books are good, especially if you find ones that ring true with you, but again they can only give you clues, or maybe reflect some denied or hidden aspect of yourself that you've forgotten, which could lead to more clues, but they cannot solve the issue either, only conscious acceptance of, and interaction with the existential issues in your life is going to help. I guess what I'm saying here is don't get too lost in the books, because you will not find your answer there, simply because your particular and specific problem does not exist there either. They can help tho

Best of luck

One more thing I will mention, dreams themselves (in the night) are altered states of conscious expression, and equally provide some beneficial clues from your unconscious to the state of your affairs, if you learn the proper insight into interpreting those expressions as they relate to your life (not at face value, but symbolically)

So, in the 24 hour period you actually have thousands of little details that all point to any number of particular issues, it just takes some conscious awareness of all these little nuances to piece the puzzle together. Use every tool available

**edit double post nuttyness

Thanks again for the response. My friend finds this really difficult to talk to people about. Actually he's never really told anyone because he's partly ashamed, although no where near as ashamed as he used to be, but also due to his laid back personality and the way he presents himself to others, he believes that no-one would take him seriously.

One person he knows once said to him in a friendly joking way 'you wouldn't know stress if it came up and hit you in the face'. To this he just had to smile and laugh rather than reveal an almost life-time battle with mental troubles.

Speaking of dreams, my friend has sleep paralysis, although it's not as frequent now as it used to be. Maybe this is connected? He never wants this is go away though, because although terrifying he feels he enjoys the experience and learns from each one.

Still, the day hasn't come where he has managed to keep his eyes open throughout the whole encounter, maybe doing this will reveal something deep? Or perhaps just make him shit the bed from terror?

Most nights before bed my friend stares into the dark, blank space in his mind and usually gets some form of imagery, faces etc appearing. There was even a time when an inner voice told him 'when a person dies they become apart of reality/remerge with the universe', which was accompanied by a wireframe 3D cube with a sphere in the middle that was connected to the corners with more wires. This shape changed and blended into everything else, following what the inner voice told him.


Sorry about the bad drawing, but the circle represented the mind, the outside wireframe the body. Or so my friend thinks.

You don't need to move in order to be aware of dream content. I don't know if it's related, but it doesn't sound like a natural function, and this is the first time I've ever even heard of such a thing (sleep paralysis) so I dunno, maybe it's some kind of fear-based reaction? I have no idea honestly. If there are fear-based issues, it may be a good idea to look into them and confront them. Worst-case scenario you'll wake up and shit the bed, can't last forever

I'm not sure how much value I would place on an inner voice, from my experience most "voices" come from fragmented parts of mind, so altho they provide clues to the mental state, they are not really something I would venture out to "follow", unless of course one felt inclined to... every situation is different, for me particularly it wouldn't prove very useful, but I still say be aware of everything as it presents itself and don't deny anything until you get the issue resolved.

As for the picture, interesting, but I can't make much out of it. To me it seems like the center is bound in a box

Also there's no shame in trying to resolve an issue, personal or otherwise, so I think your friend may benefit if he drops the personal guilt and shame and just accepts himself as the universe made him, and then works to understand and unravel the deeper issues

Scratch that, my friend's been playing with DMT for a while now and can understand how to 'go with it' so to speak.

After a couple of tokes on the pipe he could feel the vibrations changing, normal reality was on the verge of disappearing, all anxieties, ill-feelings, negative mental thoughts of this place are gone.

One more toke would have done it then the lighter popped hahaa jesus!!! Time to invest in a decent lighter. He's 100% ready now, when he's through he'll leave a report, or what he can remember. Terrence Mckenna was right it's literally like gold slipping through your fingers.