Well I just wrote this long response, this is mainly to lloydy2013 but anyone else reading it could gain knowledge. I actually had to cut it short.

Sorry if i got on and on but theres a reason for everything that's said.





I had the same thing happen to me with cannabis (the anxiety in social situations and such)

Cannabis use to give me incredible euphoria and altered states of consciousness that blew my mind (I naturally have synaesthesia and it brings it out in a way), but after a break of about a year and a half the first joint I smoked gave me the worst anxiety ever. Not even high or altered at all, just anxious and sedated in a jittery way which is unpleasant.

I kept smoking it though and started getting interested in meditation more and more but could never really get anywhere with it. I was interested in the kundalini awakening (im guessing you know what that is since you know about chakras and the pineal gland) because I had a VERY intense almost explosive kundalini awakening from cannabis and realized thru reading literature on yoga that what I had experienced was an extreme premature awakening.

I kept smoking and tried meditation but this got nearly nowhere because I still had fear and was not fully one with myself, let alone one with my own heart enough to let my mind rest from thoughts.

I experienced some forced states of altered awareness (including something like a third eye expansion of consciousness that was almost scary) and had an experience of feeling (and seeing [by seeing I mean as in a level of synaesthesia that comes with anyone who meditates to this level]) hot/warm orange sexual energy flowing thru my penis which is more in the body than awareness. And I experienced some things that just happened automatically (Like my whole body became one void of awareness, everything went BLACK, and I felt/saw (synaesthesia type awareness again) complete void for about a second then came back.

These things happen automatically with the kundalini awakening at times.

But other than that I was hopeless with meditation and I couldn't have awakened this energy with meditation alone.


I took a low dose of mescaline cactus with Syrian rue and went to a beautiful mountain waterfall one day (the nausea was a pain but I kept it down long enough for it to go away completely) and after I came home, I smoked a joint of cannabis and had a kundalini awakening from the base of my spine out the top of my head. I wont get into what happened but I will make the note that the cannabis triggered this awakening.


Some time after this (a couple months) I entered a form of Samadhi with a big joint of cannabis and pranayama (Yogic breathing basically) and my kundalini didn't awaken. But I entered an altered state of consciousness I had never entered before. The breathing is what made it happen though, I follow the internal knowledge that kundalini awakenings bring. I became receptive of this and this knowledge guided me in breathing and I became one with it for about 2 seconds (what it felt like, time perception is different in this state) and it started coming down and I started breathing again and came back for about 2 seconds again but came down. Theres more but I wont get into it lol. But the state of consciousness was of TOTAL stillness and everything was white in my vision, papyrus paper like a chinese drawing.






Now I started realizing that I was reliant on cannabis and drugs to enter these states. I couldn't awaken kundalini or get to that state of stillness and oneness even if I tried (mainly because I would have given up) or even enter meditation at that.

after this another night to smoke a big joint and meditate/sit with myself while listening to 528 hz music

I started thinking of god and kundalini, and the love connected to them, and I started thinking of kundalini as the goddess mother (at the time I was pretty basically aethiest, but becoming agnostic) and my heart chakra awoke in a way and I started thinking about the bad in myself.

I felt incredible love and my perception changed (in an altered state of consciousness way) and I started crying like a baby. I felt connected to this mother goddess image of kundalini in my mind. I felt her with me. The love awakening was an experience that taught me, or reminded me that there is love. I didn't know what to do with the experience though. Releasing all of that energy in crying healed me in a way though and released my egos grip a bit.




now some time further, I drank some mimosahuasca and started learning more and more about meditation and psychic phenomena. I had still been smoking cannabis but started realizing that I was not even getting high, just a bit anxious and numb. It even ruined a mimosa experience and the psychedelic aspect vanished and I was in an anxiety lock.


I am interested in medicine and decided to study cannabis and how to respectively use it for meditation and going into the consciousness and emotions.


I found this song that struck a deep cord in my heart (this has to do with my synaesthesia to an extent) that I hadn't felt for a while and instantly became special to me like some songs do. The songs name is A walk - Tycho if youre wondering by the way.


anyway, I got some good sativa strain cannabis and cooked some into honey and smoked the other stuff (I cant remember how much I ingested)

But I was listening to a walk for hours, feeling deeper and deeper into what I was feeling until all the vocal chatter in my head stopped and i detached from my body and became on point inside of the darkness of my head.


this one point I was feeling was the synaesthesia coming together of all my emotions,perceptions,understandings,love,innocence, and everything else.

As the song went from emotional to upbeat i heard the background beat and came deeper into it as it went upbeat. it was percept timing.


I started feeling this level of love that was not intense. but rather potent in its subtle understanding. with the synaesthesia of understanding this songs emotion and love made me cry internally. But not of sadness like when i felt connected to the mother kundalini (or atleast my mental image of her love and nurturing understanding). This was like a synaesthesia of the sadness, then as it went upbeat the awareness beautifully transmuted into love.


When there is quietness in the mind and you feel a feeling of pure love like that, even without synestheisa, you will cry the first time. There is also the inner cry



Now im rambling

But i have felt these awarenesses of love (and one i wont get into, even though it was probably the most powerful and didn't even involve kundalini awakening of any form, it came from within me)


I do have a suggestion or two though. Don't get caught up on the idea of the illuminati, I use to be very into conspiracy and stuff, it blocked my trust in the world though (aswell as other things).
For all we know they may be in spiritual knowledge that we aren't ("satanic knowledge" can be used for good, if you wanted to call dark magic and such evil you could, but and evil force can be doing good, its just our perceptions that define good and bad, but as we all know, our perceptions are limited to what we know)
Soo don't get too caught up on masonic and global elite knowledge, your path is within you first. First.


second, if you don't already, i suggest meditation. I am currently not taking any drugs (including caffeine) as part of a 100 day break. Ill probably go more.
I have been practicing Pranayama and meditation without drugs, and have learned to guide myself in the natural states of consciousness. I would suggest atleast trying to get somewhere with meditation without drugs. I am very happy I have, its a freedom in a way.


third, if you don't already know, research kundalini. What you had was a form of kundalini awakening. Albiet it wasn't the rising up the shushumna nadi (spinal cord) awakening, it was a heart awakening which can be very powerful as you know.

My highest suggestion though, is to be wise with cannabis. Let the plant spirit teach you, but you need to come to its level to be receptive of its teachings. Be receptive of it both high and sober. I suggest using it wisely though because cannabis can trigger kundalini awakenings. Kundalini can be very fucking dangerous and caused damadge if fucked with. lol


if you stay on the heart chakra and listen to the love though, you will be safe. the heart awakening will open the third eye chakra automatically and make you receptive to higher state of consciousness. let it happen. And don't fight it. Don't agitate it and awakening it either though, that's stupid and dangerous unless you know what youre doing.



And trying to awaken the kundalini with cannabis is like Russian roulette some would say, and i would agree mostly.


If you want to peruse the kundalini awakening from youre experience of love, enter the kundalini with that love. I would really suggest doing it without cannabis (specifically) though. A premature kundalini awakening (speciafically the crown chakra and base chakra ones) can be VERY BAD. I would read a bit about Gopi Krishnas story. He almost died but knew how to send the energy back up his spine instead of to the right in the solar energy circuit.



You have awakened and gone deep within you, i would not be surprised if you had more awakenings. You should be wise. This is very good for you if you can put your love into awakening. The natural bliss and superconscious states of consciousness without drugs (from your own internal hormones/neurotransmitters/peptides and other chemicals) a can be beyond drugs. That is not the full awakening though. I don't think Nirvikalpa Samadhi is event the full awakening.






lloydy2013 if you read the whole thing and are interested in what you've awakened you can PM me. Youre kundalini may remain dormant, but if it awakens in any form, i would suggest thinking about contacting someone who knows about kundalini or reading about it. Or maybe join one of these yoga forums, they actually seem to know a very good deal.

Im saying soo much because you will go thru a lot if you awaken.. wether you awaken yourself or are AWAKENED, either way you will probably go thru a lot of hell and may need help. A lot of people have troubles, of fear and even physical pain.

Infact most yogis would say not to even fuck with the power that is kundalini withiout a guru to guide you in safe awakening. But more and more people are awakening in this age.









Oh and i would suggest Mimosahuasca. The Spirit of Mimosa is a good teacher from my experience. If you can connect with the spirit you will understand why i say that. DMT is the only drug i would suggest (mostly in the form of Huasca) for learning about kundalini.

I have no experience with Ayahuasca, but am growing Both P. Viridis and Caapi. The softness of caapi would probably be much better than Rue for awakening.

And Pranayama.


Peace


thank you for such an awesome reply it was a really nice read, what happened to me was in my opinion without a doubt the heart chakra awakening, i have been struggling a bit recently with accepting that we are spiritual beings, and capable of much more than we see. being only 20 years of age and having to accept this on your own with only very few people to talk to about this can be hard, sometimes it is easier to just believe the material world is all there is, this experience was just what i needed it reminded me how powerful we really are and gave me that spritual connection to confirm to me that i was on the right path.

Oh don't i know about it the Illuminati can either go deep and get wrapped up in fear holding you back from this full potential of ourselves, or we can just forget about it all and know that the bottom line is , if we feel fear in anyway , that's they want. spending time researching on it , this is what they want, i spent far too long on that stage but feel it was relevant as part of my journey.

Yes i do know about the kundalini but not too much in depth, i haven't really been able to come across any good and easy reads on it about what actually happens during awakening and the changes it will have when awakened, if you know of any that would be awesome. I have been on my journey now since my 18th birthday , this is when my "hell" started , the learning , now 2 years on i feel i have come a LONG way and i am hoping for my next big birthday my 21st , it will be the end of my journey since i plan on taking a trip to the amazon taking part in ayahuasca ceremony's for my 21st birthday. i used to always think i had the worst 18th birthday but maybe it was actually the best gift possible , what i really wanted deep down, it began then.

I do feel in a way that i have cheated by taking cannabis to feel this state of consciousness, my true goal is to be able to live like this naturally and help others get to this stage too.

thanks again for the reply , much love man