Hello... I am mike... I am new... but have been reading here for a while... so here is an introduction essay that gets straight to the point on what I am all about... here it is... oh and to help you better understand how I feel... I recommend listening to this on repeat while you read... you don't have to though...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TXmzT818_k

here it is...



Alright where do I begin with this? I have a lot to say, a lot on my mind. I am going to let you into my struggle I guess. Or my mind and what I think about on a daily basis. I will warn you. It’s going to start off really depressing. Very depressing, but stay with me and please keep reading. It gets positive towards the end. I would like to add (I have thought about helping people ever sense I can remember… but this thought im about to explain to you didn’t come to mind until it blew up in my face the first time I tried LSD so I will title this)
My Current Predicament

As a young American, I face the grim future of working the rest of my life for people who don’t know my name. People who will never care about me, I was born into this world where I must work for money in order to pay to live on my land, In order to survive. To pay taxes to people who call themselves my government. (Who use a majority of taxes to build weapons and kill and destroy other people, in the name of freedom and democracy?) These people do not care about me, or you or anyone else. They don’t care about this country or anyone; however this is not my point. I can talk a life time about this but my time is ticking and I need to get straight to my point.

We live in a grim dark demonic world. Where people kill their own kind for many reasons, but not one reason is good enough. Where woman are raped, and abused. Where people are struggling off of one dollar a day salaries and even less, while others rape the land and abuse there people for profit, and make lots of money. Earth is where complete genocide of an entire people happens for reasons such as the manifest destiny. (It has happened more than once) The list goes on and on. I’m sure you can list many of your own, But if you think about it deeply. While your reading this at this moment right now. Realize that many women are being raped at this moment. People are overdosing on substance right now. People are taking their own lives right now. People are taking the lives of other people right now. Governments are taking the lives of other people right now. Someone is homeless outside right now in the pouring rain with no shelter or bed… right now. People are starving… People are dying… People are suffering at the hands of others… all right now while you’re reading this.


When I tell my mother this…
She says Mike you have to focus on what you can control and be happy. But I cannot, how can I keep moving forward while many others are dragging themselves along or have stopped or are falling in the opposite direction than I am heading into. Do I just look back behind me at all of them and just say fuck it, and move on. I may not know who I really am as in universal purpose of human beings. But I am not the kind of person that leaves people behind.


I am very conflicted on this concept. I am split down the middle. It is like there are two people in my head at all times governing and talking to me at all times.


One of them feels a deep compassion and love for all human beings and all living things. Including non living things such as the planet and the sun, (even though I believe they are both very alive) Not just his family or the ones he is close to. He feels a deep responsibility to his fellow human beings and animals and the earth, to take care of and give back to them. He is the part of my personality that would stop moving forward and turn around and help those way far behind and struggling to move forward.


Then there’s the other person. This person is the complete opposite of the other. This person prays for war and more war. To the point where it consumes the earth, To the point where the battlefield is not just in some distant country that you hear about on your TV, but a war that this world has never seen, One that is in everyone’s back yard.


I don’t like to use this word but it is how I really feel. This person has a deep sensation of hate towards humanity. But not the planet, He feels that humanity has fucked up and it’s time for all us to go into oblivion, and never return our ugly evil faces to this universe. If this person could communicate to the earth in English, about how she feels about humans. I feel that the response would be very negative.


But then the other half hopes that she will forgive all of us, and hopes that the universe as a whole will forgive us. Maybe were not the only beings in this universe. Maybe the universe has seen this before and that’s why I feel like she has allowed us to live this long and spare us. Maybe the universe knows that things will get better. How does that old saying go? You must walk through hell, in order to reach heaven. I hope that is true. I really hope.

I read this and tried listening to the utube link, but i felt that the link that i have posted was more appropriate for me, as it underlines the concept of man"s inhumanity and our demonic ways.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTljpH7cfW8


Do you think we are going down the wrong path? Or has it always been like that? I think the latter. We are just finding more efficient ways of fucking things up. And, due to better communications, it is far more visible.
Sometimes it feels like we are standing against a tidal wave of moral inneptitude, and it can be difficult to not to be mentally broken by the weight of these realisations.
I think your mum is right. Sort the things that can be sorted and you never know where it can lead. Maybe if you don"t strees too much you could become the next Ghandi.

Hey Mike ; )

Have you heard of Bashar?

Watch this 3 minute clip and tell me what you think ; )

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TD5abJ6Vzkc

just give me a sec... eating some food

Wow this explains it very well.... it explains the other half I describe above very very very well... very inspiration... makes a lot of sense as well... I will always have hope and never let the other side I reveled govern me even though I have allowed it a little but I will keep pushing forward... thank you thank you and thank you I am going to add this to my favorites.

Mike,

I have been where you are, the split mind. There is a native american metaphor that goes something like this.....

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson
about a battle that goes on inside people.

He said, "My son, the battle is between
two "wolves" inside us all.

One is Evil.
It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed,
arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies,
false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good.
It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute
and then asked his grandfather:
"Which wolf wins?"
The old Cherokee simply replied,
"The one you feed."

About humans and all the destruction and death and pain we create, i see it like this......We are evolving animals, but we are stuck in a very unfortunate mental place as a whole human race..Our intellectual mind has drowned out our compassion, our caring nature. We are too smart for our own good. Our cold cruel intellect, instincts and emotions run our lives. We have not yet learned how to hear or use our intuition, or learned how to make the instinctual mind and intellectual mind subservient to our pure awareness.(will power)

You are so welcome, highly recommend you check out his other stuff as well ; )

Wow man, that sounds almost parallel to my way of thinking, but I recently had a mind bending soul crushing ayahuasca experience and I am much more calm about the situation on the planet, before I was mad at the world...

Interesting post look forward to reading more of your stories..

Yes its understandable to be angry at mankind for being closed off to the wider picture, blinded by greed and consumerism.
However it is driven by the minority power hungry who use science and alchemy against its own kind to keep thier selfish obsession of control fed.
We are evolving sentient parasites that are slowly but surely awakening to the fact we are on some sort of biological auto pilot (maybe if we are from another planet its a landing survival behaviour) and actually have a choice to be on a higher plane of awareness and not carry on this route of destruction

So how does dmt fit into all this for you jbomma?
Reminds you nature will always be here sprawled through infinite parralel universes and countless dimensional levels? Branching out and expiring infinitely. It does to me.
Dmt is like a business card that nature has left on the planet with a message " if you want to know more give us a call and we'll talk"
The shock that Mrs Thomas would have watching on the news about how the new government has ackowledged nature is sentient (we just havent noticed them talking before despite the super volcanos and tsunamis! )and dialogue will be entered into to gain ideas about how not to fuck up the planet, with global chosen as ambassador to go and smooth things over
I think the hyperspace jesters attitude has rubbed off on me