Well, hello

I am using this forum now for a longer while to get the informations for my personal relationship to dmt and it's just great! First of all, thanks for that.

The reason I decided to participate is because I got problems lately, smoking DMT-Freebase.

I'll just describe the trip from beginning to end, maybe you are familiar with it:

First I take a deep hit from my pipe (vaporgenie) and let the substance settle into my lungs, for about 10 sec. then I take the next hit and usually I take one last hit additionally. - I've had the most colorful enlighting trips I could imagine but for some reason, the trips are just... shitty. Well, instead of a colorfull shot into hyperspace, my field of view gets "crumpled" in the middle, like if you would crumple a photo or something like that. Besides, the colors are just wiped out. I get the feeling that everything is dead around me. It's not really grey, its just dark, like someone blew ultra fine charcoal dust on everything around me. Then after ca. 15-2 minutes, everything is back normal. There isn't happening anything more, no colors, no movement and no life.

I don't know if this is all about my personal spiritual mindset, but I'm slightly frightened I destroyed the DMT experience by something, or my spice has gone bad (which would be more gratifying than a personal incompatibility)

Additionally, here is a little "Trip History" so you can get a perception of the times I smoked it and how it went.

Weekend 1: Batch 1 - magnificent experience, total euphoria, people danced around me and everything was magic

Weekend 2: Batch 2 - (slightly yellow, although it has been recrystallised)- Beautiful experience, some kind of weird understanding of the mathematical concept of a simple dot

Weekend 3: I decided to take Pharmahuasca since the wish raised, to be longer and more calm in hyperspace, so I could finally get the time for myself to face the spiritual knowledge which is given by the substance.

The Circumstances weren't right, I had loads of work for the next week, and I wanted to have a calm week to integrate the experience. So I decided to wait one more week with the Pharmahuasca and smoked a head freebase instead. Unbelievable experience.

Weekend 4: Pharmahuasca: I made myself a bamboocup and crafted some nice decoration elements to put in some personal energy into the experience. The trip was very subtile and I was used to more optical "feedback" so I decided to smoke a hit on top. I'd read that this combination would have a beautiful synergy, and perhaps it does so, but not for me.

It was the pure horror, everything went grey, there were just black and white but not black and white as a powerful thing, no just no sensation of color. A friend decided to cheer me up and came around. I had some deep insights into my personal mistakes and it was very educational for me. But it was just horrible. My headache was so extreme I thought my head was going to explode every moment.

Wednesday after Weekend 4:

A little bit uncertain about it, I tried to smoke a head but gave up after first toke, since the color went away again (althouhg less grey)

Weekend 5: Now I'm sitting here, another colorless trip is fading away and I'm asking you for some insights, what it could be


Some additional Information:

- The spice wasn't stored properly, but it's white
- I had such colorless trips a while before the blasting experiences I reported in the first part of my post (so it's the same spice and couln't get any better, yet it blasted me away)


Any suggestions so far?

Thanks for your help!

Peace and love

Clear the set (your head and fears) and change the setting to something more inviting and filled with color and light if you are able.

It may be that you simply need to take a break from it.
The black textured thing is reminiscent of times early on when I was starting
Out on this whole adventure before I knew what I know now

Possible things to consider :

Are you burning the spice ?

Do you need a break from it ?

Are you taking it too seriously ?

What's your setting ?

Are you including caapi in the mix ?
I never leave home without it personally
Never ever straight spice anymore for me

Trying too hard with expectations ?
I suspect this is part of the issue


Clean well evaporated spice ?

Try ramping up alot with caapi leaf before
Going near the spice .
Start more gradual work in over the course of an hour
Forget expectation focus solely on visual distortions
Get things moving visually before you go hard at it .
Feel the caapi in your body calling for the spice . When you feel the tug
Add more spice and give it a good blast

And yes in nature away from people and man made crap .

Just some random thoughts

Hey there Blueleader,

I'm curious if these were consecutive weekends? Often it takes people longer than a
week to integrate and process the information. The plant teachers are wonderfully (and terribly) self-regulatory in terms of over-usage. I wouldn't get discouraged, I'd just give it some time.

At the same time I want to say that even though I haven't experienced exactly what you described, I've certainly been in some dark, scary places. Consciously protecting your space and setting intention (through some type of ritual), is very helpful in warding off darker forces.

take care,
-free radical

Hmm... Sometimes the dmt spirits tell me no, other times they say yes. Also, don't be afraid of blackness, or darkness. I have noticed that half of my trips involve me going somewhere, while the other half involve me going inwards. The ones that go inwards are not colorful at all, they are more just like open space. Dark and no colors shouldn't automatically mean negative. Maybe the dmt spirits want you to take a moment and examine yourself in the blackness.

For me, I started out doing it for fun and I still do, but I have also figured out that there's no way around the fact that in that state of mind you learn things, and if your not open to the lesson it will just come around again next time. You cant think about the trip as good or bad, because just like life our worst experiences are usually the most enlightening. Accept The lessons of self. I personally refuse to interact with the entities, and at most im stared at, but my self dialogue and deep thinking teaches me a lot about myself.
My suggestion would be take a break. Not all things are beneficial. maybe you're done. Or try some nitrous on top, you won't be able to have a bad trip with nitrous, and it will take the euphoria to a whole nother level. Just try not to black out.

Wow, first of all I'd like to thank you all for your participation!

@cailieg

I personally don't have any fear about a dark trip, since I know that I am responsible for my trip since I decided to take the trip I have to take it how it comes. That can dramatically change when I am thrown into a "horrortrip" but I'm honestly let's say fearless right before the trip. I wish I could be neutral in general, but I'm having my difficulties with meditating recently, since my whole world changed from a depressed, alcohol shaped world of personal denial of responsibility for my own problems, into an open minded world of exploration of mind, spirit and reality. That's all quite exiting to me so my thoughts when taking a hit are mostly something like "What facet of 'it' will be exposed to me this time" Perhaps it's to much curiousity and a state of expectation in general which blocks it for me.

And I think you are right with your suggestion about the setting. My room has a lack of colors in general and since I think the room of somebody is a mirror of his mind, I have to change it. Although the nature is the best place, I'm having troubles finding some good qiet place where I live. I live in a big city in northern germany and although it's green, there isn't any untouched nature around. (There are expectations but if you set a foot on this parts of nature and someone sees you, you have to pay a fine and I can imagine it's really hard to pay a fine while your mind is flooded with substance

I'm sorry to hear about your partner's problems but I think you will succeed with the actions you take in order to break out of the 'badtrip-cycle'! My advice for you with the acid: Let it first come to the plateu and just do it if you feel the inner call for the changa. I did this combo a while ago on a festival with an (I can imagine) old weak blotter. Although the acid wasn't strong, and I hadn't any strong visuals by the acid itself, the combination with DMT was overwhelming. When I imagine I combined the last strong acid trip I'm not able to imagine what would have happened.

Yet I'm wishing you and your partner any good for this experience and if you know the combo and have more experience than me with it, than simply ignore what I said, just my thoughts

@Felnik
I definitively need a break, since I'm having trouble and your advice makes it more clear to me. Before I can go up again, I have to solve any possible problems down here

Regarding your other suggestions:

Burning the spice:
well, perhaps the ceramic filter ob my (wooden) VG is clogged and therefore the airflow is disturbed. I will order a new one and replace it before trying it out the next time. Furthermore I wanted to make some changa again, so I can definitively eliminiate the possibillity of burning the spice.

"Are you taking it too seriously"

Well I can't answer this in general, since I don't know how serious I have to be or not. For me, spice is a sacred tool, given to me. Yet I am aware of my normal reality and that the spice is just an aspect of reality, not the reality itself. I think there is a purpose behind our 'non-psychedelic' existence. Additionally, I don't think I'm demanding anything special from spice. But I'm demanding something, i would say, new from it. I'm really curious about the hyperspace and I love it to let the spice take me to new places within it. And I am disappointed if it doesn't do so. Perhaps that's wrong.

On the other hand, I know it's not simply a toy to get high and I'm never taking it to flee from reality or something. That is the core behind my personal drug usage, that I'm not abusing but using the drug to help me on my personal way, not to distract me from it.

The Setting:
My setting is mostly my room. It's a I would say normal, simple furnished room. There are no color elements on purpose. Just some colored objects, but no decoration like flowers, plants etc. The dominant 'colors' are white, light wood and ebony black wood.

Although that's kinda dull, I smudge alot to bring the good spirits into the place and usually there are amazing colors while tripping.

Perhaps the spice is telling me, that I am done with this setting and I should move into nature. I will give it a try.

Last thing: I tried to understand your suggestion of caapi leafs and well, I'm not a native speaker and I couldn't understand it fully. Yet that sound interesting and I would like to hear more about it, in a more detailed explaination


@freerad:

Yes the weekends were consecutive. But I had the feeling that I'm ready for a new fragment of the spirit. But I have to admit that sometimes, I want simply more. Not more in a level of strength but in a way of duration. I want to be longer in hyperspace so I have more time to grasp the things I'm experiencing. That makes me too greedy (sometimes multiple trips per weekend). Yet I think I learned not to do so anymore. But perhaps I'm still using it to often. I will make atleast a break about two weeks or more before using it again although I am curious if the actions I will make in order to eliminate the possible issues, will work.

I am using palo santo and other things in order to keep my ceremonial place clean and I am speaking out loud my intentions I have to my pipe. That always helped me and I had really dark trips. But those trips were dark in a scary meaning. There were moments were I cried in fear, yet those trips were incredibly useful if I look back. But my recent trips aren't dark in a scary way or something. They are simply dark, in the meaning of dark. Like if you try to find something outside while sunset. Imagine a room with an oven in it and everything is coated with coaldust, meanwhile the sunset began and you have no lightbulb or flashlight but instead of going any darker, the trip simply stays in that colorless, dull twilight without the sensation of color (regardless If i'm looking into a lightbulb, a colored screensaver or not)and thats just... depressing (for the duration of the trip, personally, I'm insecure about it, but I'm sure I will solve these problems - no reason to get depressed because a 'drug' isn't working properly anymore )

@somethingsintheway

I know what you mean, and I had such experiences in the past. Yet this is not the darkness I mean. I tried to describe the darkness a little bit better above my answer to you.
But you are right that dark/light shouldn't mean negative or positive, it's all about your interaction with it and how you learn from it

@tmcgee

as I mentioned before, the trips arend bad in an order of fear or something like that. There isn't just any spirit in the trips. My field of view is crunshed, everything is coaldustcolored and thats it nothing happens. No movement, nothing. This lasts about 15-20 minutes. There are no entities or something like that. But you are right with the break too. I don't really know if I need it. But not doing a break will not make it any better for me!

To the mix of nirous: I like to mix it with MDMA on some rare special occasions (perhaps three times half a year) and I have just good experiences with it. It takes out the psychedelic component for me, but I saw pixel crocodiles swimming through the grass and I saw a giant holographic display while sitting next to the dancefloor on an psytrance festival, which displayed the music like a wmp visual plugin. I was able to go around it and it was absolutely crazy. It was an object, just floating around, interacting with real sound input and I was able to walk around it! I was so unbelievable happy (Crazy Astronaut played So damn Tough and NXPCTD, for those who listen to this kind of music). I wonder how nitrous will work but I'm somehow careful with mixing DMT and other stuff. Somehow I have the feeling that I opress the plant spirit with the other substances. Do you have thought about that before, and if so, do you have an opinion about that? If so, I would like to hear it!


________________________

I hope I could answer all of you properly, some answers are shorter than the others, since many information is in other answers and I didn't want to repeat everything.

Thank you all(!) for your help, it is somehow really relieving to me to talk with others who are into the topic

And please forgive me my language mistakes. Sometimes I don't know which word is more apropriate to describe a certain kind of situation and the german grammar has a lot more commas in it than I should use in english

peace and love


_______ _______
_______EDIT_______

Somehow it worked, I just had an out of body experience of such an amazing kind, I have never experienced before. Although the trip was brownish-black tinted in the beginning, somehow I exploded into colors and flew at my ceiling!

wow, just WOW!