Hello everyone,

I'm twenty-eight years old and have zero experience with psychedelics. I'm hoping to glean some insight from the wealth of experience on this message board to try to determine whether Ayahuasca, or some other form of psychedelic, would help me to achieve my spiritual and psychological goals. I'll try to explain myself to the best of my ability. I apologize in advance if what follows turns into mostly incoherent, unstructured rambling.

I've always felt that I have a good conceptual understanding of the "oneness" of everything. The core of my belief structure is based around the idea that I am simply a form of conscious, perceptive energy. However, I feel that there is some kind of barrier preventing me from having a true understanding of the nature of my own existence and connectedness with the universe around me. Although I have felt extremely powerful glimpses of it, something inside of me is preventing me from feeling the universal love and contentedness that I know exists on the other side of this "wall."

I'm generally very happy with my life. I am currently going through a divorce which has turned out to be a very good thing as I am exponentially happier. I've stumbled into a relationship with a girl who is essentially everything I have ever wanted in a companion and I have a very successful, rewarding career. I also have a great hobby which provides an outlet for my creativity and competitiveness.

However, as with all of us, there are a few potentially dark spots in my life. A couple of years ago my relationship with my parents and family deteriorated to the point where I've cut off all communication with them. I'm really okay with this, and I'm pretty sure any sort of negative feelings I have about the situation are due to worry that I should probably feel worse about it than I do, if that makes any sense.

From DMT I'm hoping to be able to chip away at my ego and sense of self in order to gain a higher understanding of my reality. My primary concern is that the lack of an experienced guide/teacher increases any potential that exists for a negative experience. I'm wondering, considering the fact that I'm already happy with my existence, would I be better off using other means such as yoga or meditation to deepen my spiritual understanding?

Thank you in advance.

My humble opinion:

Why look at it in a or/or way? Why psychedelics or yoga/meditation and not both?
The important thing is your intentions.

Just don't expect psychedelics to solve your problems... See them as a tool to understanding yourself and the world in such a way that you will be able to solve the problems or better yet realize there are no problems.

Same goes for yoga and meditation.

Thank you for the reply Elpo!

I can assure you that I don't think psychedelics are going to solve any problems of mine. In fact, I wouldn't call the mental/spiritual obstacles I'm trying to overcome "problems" per se.

Expanding on what I said in my first post, as it relates to what you've said, I think I have a good conceptual understanding that any "problems" I may have in my life are completely subjective, I just don't truly feel it. That's really what I'm looking for.

With these substances you'll feel the call. At least I always do, as do others.

"You don't find ayahuasca, it finds you."

If the interest is there, by all means, experiment. Ayahuasca is as good as any other psychedelic. Mushrooms might be a bit easier with no prior experience, but that depends heavily on dose.

I have had to cut ties with my family as well. It was something I used to feel somewhat guilty about because I felt like the "bad son" and any time I would talk about it with people they would say things like, "How can you just not talk to them? They're your parents."

All I can say is that I'm much happier and at peace with myself now. Relationships that are toxic and destructive should be ended, regardless of who it is. If you can only feel bad about not feeling that bad about it, you're fine

I recommend peruvian torch for starters it has a very wide spectrum of effect. Zen multiplied, everything feels in the right place and everything becomes clear you gain a deep empathy for the life you are living and your reason for it.
If you want a thorough disection of you and your higher self and learn how you can bridge the gap then an ayuahasca guided session is advisable with a medium dose, 8 hours of an intense guided tour through the inner workings and complexities of existence is hard work for even the regular psyconaut .