Been creeping on here for a bit but now seems an appropriate time to introduce myself. Recently I've had a handful of experiences with ayahuasca that I feel have marked the beginning of a new part of my life. Until recently my psychedelic experience was mainly limited to many high dose LSD sessions. Initially I was very biased toward my ergoline friend but after a while the relation of the fungi's alkaloid makeup to our favorite endogenous tryptamine led me to sense that there was more depth available to the latter experience. I'd tried mushrooms a handful of times in the past, mostly very low doses, but my first 5 gram trip did not disappoint. Besides the way the active chemicals genuinely felt better in muh brain I was fascinated by the way patterns I had noticed from L were also present, but with a noticeably higher degree of resolution and clarity. Also since the proteins and enzymes that generate our bodies are mostly very ancient it started to make sense to me that things coming out of the same biological matrix would have a higher probability of being healthier to ingest (btdubs does anyone else here get the impression that audiences are created after an attraction?)


I'm not trying to hammer L, especially since it's been responsible for most of my growth from psychedelics because it was the easiest to acquire for a long time, but some of the more seasoned travelers among us know that the reason for it's popularity is because it's not the most psychedelic thing out there. I started to notice that my friends who didn't have the healthiest habits of drug consumption always cited L's high degree of control when raising it above other psychedelics as their favorite. I realized that contrary to what I wanted to believe LSD really did make me more prone to megalomaniac and messianic thoughts and behaviours, which led to some rather embarrassing incidents on my part whilst consuming it in higher-than-advised quantities. I've never tripped to be in control though, and while I can recognize LSD's benefits as a light, accessible, and neutral psychedelic my first real encounter with mushrooms had proved to me that this was a better tool for the type of work I was interested in.


As far as dosage for me goes I don't consider myself a hard head in the sense that I don't need more than the average person to get normal effects from a drug, however I've always sought high dose experiences, particularly with the substances I mentioned before. Especially when I was first starting out with LSD, I soon found myself rarely eating less than 5 hits. My first real mushroom trip I mentioned didn't leave me wanting any more in terms of intensity but it did leave me wanting more in terms of effects. When tripping I've always taken these high doses in order to produce a state where I feel like my thoughts are being more guided by the gravity of the universal flow of consciousness rather than my own independent corporeal will. After my first few trips these didn't occur regularly and most times that I was frying I found myself in the presence of things that certainly seemed like they could just be generated from my own body. Mushrooms provided a higher signal to noise ratio in terms of recpetion but still didn't bring me to a threshold that I felt was possible.



Very recently reports from the members on this forum convinced me that huasca in a responsible dose outside its ritualized setting was not as dangerous as I had imagined and I began working with it. I still haven't had any seriously intoxicating sessions with it but I immediately noticed the difference I was looking for in the harmala alkaloids. The last time I took the brew I just sipped on it lightly but even that, without any seriously inebriating intoxication to speak of, topped all of my other trips. When I say it topped them I don't mean that it was the most healing or insightful experience I've ever had. but rather that the accessibility to the state I described earlier was obviously more prevalent. It was a lowish-medium dose so I was in control of my will but for the most part I was observing myself. Fully formed and valid thoughts and association were just coming to me and pouring out of me. The point-counterpoint mentality inherent to any psychedelic experience was present but much more centered around important elements in my life. I found myself in the long-term planning mentality that tryptamine intoxication produces, but firmly focused on reasonable objectives with variables that I can easily affect. I mouthed "thank you" towards the end repeatedly for minutes.



While my marijuana use has been slowly decreasing over the last few months I gave up everyday smoking without any sort of real difficulty afterwards. I attribute that completely to my ayahuasca experience even though it didn't really spend a whole lot of time scolding me for it. Right now I feel a palpable sense of relief as I know that I've finally found the tool that I've been searching for my whole life. This combination will always be able to reliably provide enough depth to both satisfy and terrify me. Danke brothers.