Wow. That was an intriguing read, to say the least! Very illuminating, too; you write well. You've clearly ventured far onto this path, much further than many will in their lifetimes.
I wonder... Would it be okay if I ask a few questions? You talk about how intent is important, regarding the darker arts and the necronomicon etc, and your shadow. Does this have any relation to the concept of karma? And how does this 'shadow' form... In what form does it exist before the process of rebirth begins?
You've really piqued my interest... Being new here this is the first I've heard of your experiences.
Best of luck with your future path, I feel we are deficient in capable and knowledgeable shamans.
Edit: After reading your other post I see you are still quite new on this path, if I understand correctly? If so, I apologise for asking questions you might not be able to answer. Don't mind me, I am just curious.