So I've always been one to have a 'brooding' personality, at least I thought that was part of my persona. I can also be the complete polar opposite of that, being too easy-going. Depending on how safe I feel I suppose. I only started giving off negative energy in my late teens, mostly due to problems at home and inability to create stable social interactions and having exposure to some emotionally damaged people.

Anyway I made a huge turnaround at one point of my life, and I became a new person. Or at least I thought, I just wasn't aware of all the unresolved emotional baggage lurking deep down. I guess it had to come out sometime, and with full force. I suddenly became very anti-social, cut off all my friends. Lost interest in the whole thing (or at least gaining anything from it). I always feel edge, like an outsider in the world, totally isolated even tho I'm fairly normal, have a girlfriend and all that stuff. I just realized a few days ago that I totally lost trust in the world, and this might've stemmed from getting dumped earlier, hanging out with the wrong crowd, becoming a person who dropped his values and creating lots of enemies etc. So it explains why I've been feeling so, on edge, heavy and just worn out. Like I'm always stuck in 'fight' mode, can't let down my guard in any situation. Not even when I'm alone.

I kindov blame LSD+pot+other drugs for this. I realized I have a massive ego, and all LSD did was make me more focused on it, not give me the ability to change my nature. It's easy to say you can change, but it's too hard when you have automatic responses to situations, get angry really easy (but cool down fast too, typical Taurus if that's real). None of this is in my nature imo, but I feel I learned to be a bit of a jerk. So, any suggestions to be able to let my guard down a bit, feel more confident of my place in this world and not be so negative? It's really chipping away at my health.

To be content with your place in the world you have to first define what your role is in the world. Who do you want to be & who do you want to become?

There are many things you can do. I would say start a meditation practice, find a guided meditation focused on peace and love that you like. Eat right, exercise, sleep well, go out and be in nature. Seek your purpose, find the things that inspire you and pursue that.

I too found that LSD and pot brought my ego to a hyper-inflated state, borderline megalomaniacal state. Since your here at the dmt nexus I feel like your likely comfortable with drinking ayahuasca if you haven't already. Ayahuasca helped me solve many of emotional problems in ways that I can only call miraculous. Ayahusaca is medicine that can address the totality of your being and heal on multiple levels if you let it.

Also from reading some of your posts, I think its important to mention healing takes time. I was depressed for years, healing is process. Forgive yourself and love yourself, use everyday to evolve.

Just my thoughts.

Some suggestions: Integrate with nature - minds can self heal just like bodies. I also like to remember this: "nothing lasts." I am sometimes in the same space. Exercise, open communication with a loved one or just a nice person, and meditation. And yes, like Adam says, the medicine taken with the right intention can really shake things up and sort out some emotional issues. All the best.

I found that for the longest time I somewhat loathed people, that people would do anything to avoid thinking about certain topics. I realize now that this was just myself telling me that I'm comfortable with these feelings, and that I'm thankful for the people that helped show me, even if they're ignorant to the fact. Your want to be separated is just you telling yourself that the negative energy you're spilling out isn't being used in the right context.

i recommend Jung, figure out what if its a complex or a projection creating your thoughts. Most likely its something that started early (tell me about your mother stuff) and grew into something that you identify as you, which it is but perhaps just a twisted little part that can be unraveled and integrated.

http://www.voidspace.org...sychology/complex2.shtml

Maybe take a short/long break from substances? It helped me a lot, was too obsessed with the whole idea of them. I brought back my own values into my "daily working space", and they make me feel much more focused, more empathic, and more motivated on life itself. It brought back a sense of purpose that I can feel proud of.

There is more than one reason why the saying "psychs are not for everyone" exists; it does not only refer to mental/organic issues. It still is just a hobby, and if it changes you for the worse, you truly do not have to insist on trying to find the "sweet spot". That spot may exist in other activities or mindsets, and might be more rewarding for certain individuals.