Hi, axl617. As someone who has been severely clinically depressed, I just wanted to offer some of my experience.
First, I strongly agree with Handel:
Quote:We humans need the sun, nature, and healthy food to energize our bodies to accept happiness. That's 50% of the job. The rest 50% comes from the inside, through our connection to others and our Higher Self. Meditate, walk outside in the sun, maybe eat gluten free food. Daily.
If you're living a life that is work-home-work, you never go out, you watch TV all the time etc, then no wonder you're depressed.
In my experience,
you can't escape your physiology or your humanity. That is, people need to exercise outside, socialize, challenge themselves (in work or anywhere else) and eat healthy foods in order to be happy. (Supposedly foods rich in Omega-3 and Omega-6 particularly help with depression.) I hope this helps. And of course, if you want to ask me any questions, feel free to PM me.
Now: the existential crisis stuff. I don't claim to have any particular knowledge or insight here. After my "long dark tea-time of the soul" I came up with this:
1. Reality probably transcends my (and most people's) capacity to understand it.
2. But then, I don't need to understand it all, since I feel very deeply that all the really matters is that I try to make the world less shitty. Or, if you prefer, that I try to alleviate suffering.
Finally: psychedelics. My use of psychedelics is limited (for now) and it's hard for me to say how they've affected how I think.
I hope this helps.