Hi everyone, I'm a 22yo male. I have had experience with cannabis, synthetic THC, LSD, MDMA, Alcohol, Nicotine, SSRI's and small doses of other various substances.

As of late 2012, I entered a new mental 'state', it's one where I feel no joy, no hope, a little disassociated from reality and just plain worn down. My view of the world changed. It all started with a mild panic attack one night, for no reason, just this uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach. And it came back everyday until it consumed my life, and I became obsessed with finding ways to curing it. From therapy, to antidepressants to learning about every vitamin, herb, supplement out there. I tried ayahuasca without the spice, it was a nice buzz and helped me see things in new perspective, nothing lifechanging however, it could even have been a placebo.

My problems stem from teenhood, I was always insecure, felt unloved, had trouble caring for people, trouble making friends etc. All that changed in 2010 when I discovered alcohol and partying, sleeping with various women, was my main purpose for a good while. I could say my down spiral began early 12' when I felt this new sensation for a particular girl, like being on a high of something I never tried, and she left me 6 weeks later which broke my spirit down. I got interested in cigarettes about this time, can't give it up no matter what. Drinking increased. I started trying cannabis, smoked that nonstop for almost a year, so far keeping it at 1gram a month. And about 10 lucy trips. My latest one, tore me to the core. I felt something 'real', which I couldn't write off as a drug induced experience. I felt like I was unplugged from reality, it was scary and not what I need in life, to feel more connected to people and the world. For this reason I lost interest in DMT. I have changed my attitude a lot lately, I'm getting myself together, and I am hoping a good Ibogaine experience will top things off, 'reboot' my state of reality. What would you guys say?

Hey there axl like you, my life was once plagued with negative feelings, but a relatively strong acid trip completely turned my view on life around. Now I think it's important to say that turning to drugs to better your life isn't always the best idea, (they could skew your life even more) I can attest that drugs can and will change your life, its just that this tends to just 'happen' as opposed to someone seeking this as an end result to their experience. My advice to you would be to simply keep an open mind, don't go into this expecting mind altering substances to better your life, but if they do, then hey. Also you said you had a really strong acid trip, and that's what made you lose interest in DMT? I don't get it. Doing one drug made you lose interest in another?

I agree that it's not a healthy attitude to take drugs with the intention of getting something out of them long-term, my friend even made a comment to me about this. The problem I had was that the strong trip was too... real? It didn't help that the only person who knew the place I was in, is a fairly dark personality, who believes he saw infinity and repetitiveness of existence on a strong dose, that one consciousness is lonely and life has no meaning etc. It isn't helping me get my self together when I'm already trying to find some meaning in this life again.

I don't think its fair to put down DMT just because you had a 'less than enjoyable' trip. Acid and DMT are different substances, with different effects. Now if your like I used to be, (completely pessimistic, down on everyone/everything, and generally depressed), DMT isn't for you IMHO, because yeah you might get some pretty dark messages from it. Its all about your head space before you go in. I was lucky enough to take a fairly large dose of LSD while in the best head space I had been for a looong time, perfect window of time to realize what a pessimistic dick I was in general. But I think that if you approach it the right was, ibogaine especially can help you work through some stuff. Although to me it sounds like you don't know what it is you need to work through (just started feeling this was suddenly)... maybe you should find out, first.

No matter what you choose to do, I wish you the best of luck. i really feel for you, and anyone else stuck in a bad place, and I hope you resolve this

Peace

I feel something similiar to the op and felt psychs could help

However, what happens if you do them and they dont help? Where else do you go?

I dont think depending on psychs for your happiness is the best way to go.

Hope this helps, although i dont think i describes what im trying to communicate very well