I am posting this because sex is something that is very very difficult for me. I have struggled with it a lot as an adolescent as a child and even now as I begin my steps into becoming a full adult and man.

I think a lot of the trouble is my up bringing. Sex was the most TABOO topic in my family, and my eyes and ears were to always avert sexual input. My parents would "talk" to me about it, but I don't think that ever helped me, ever. And given the kind of child I was and person I am today, I was a very confused person.

But I was a young boy, and like all young boys I found a huge relief in masturbation. And this has always been a huge part of my sexuality. I was so fascinated as a kid by the act of pleasure that when I figured out I could get 50% of the real thing, man I was going up and down day and night. But of course this is pretty normal for a growing boy. I just think it really left an imprint on me, because that was my first venture into this horrible TABOO world, but it came so naturally and personally I never saw a problem with sex.

But okay lets get to the meat of the problemo here. I just broke up with my girlfriend who I have been dating for a year. We actually broke up right after our happy anniversary. But we had tons and tons of great sex! And she is the only girl I have had sex with.

Well now I have all this sexual energy that I don't know what to do with! And see saying no to sex isn't hard for me at all. So I can't just go out and find some random girl to satisfy my need. But I want to find a healthy way to disperse this sexual energy. And I mean there is a lot I feel like. This huge looming cloud that I can feel above my pelvis. I still masturbate. But this I feel is unhealthy to an extent. I am a growing man, and I don't need to be wanking it every hour. And then I started watching more porn because all I can think of is her when I think of sex. The porn takes that away, but it is killing me so deep on the inside. So I have stopped that, but I break sometimes when it gets bad.

So do you guys have any ideas or suggestions on how to take away or satisfy sexual energy? Because what I feel is the need for love transfer. And without being able to give and receive. And I mean I feel like I have a lot of unwanted sexual energy right now. I mean I can literally feel a huge build-up all day in the bottom of my stomach.

Maybe waiting is all I have to do, I don't know.

I dont know about any of this sex stuff, it confuses me so much so I it would help a lot of I could get some advice on how to approach this in the most healthy manner?

Thank you so much for reading this,
Tons of peace and love to guys, I mean it

Walter

whats up people ? i see more and more threads about sexuality , masturbation and all that , i thought all this was under control ............

I wasn't trying to be immodest or anything. If you find something offensive let me know, I can have the thread taken down.

its not like that bro , you know i am fooling around and making fun ,

apologies if it kinda upsets you

edit : perhaps you know i have nothing valuable to say when it comes to this and making fun is the only way to let off steam , as i seem to be very much in the same boat and i guess making fun is my way of feeling better about it

Alright man thanks for letting me know I just didn't want to upset anyone!

Ayurveda and Chinese Medicine have herbs and preparations believed to "cool" sexual energy. I would just type that into google or something.

No,no,no - don't disperse it. Sex is a way to exchange energy, not to get rid of it. You give her some and you get some in return. It just doesn't feel like sexual energy any more.

Try to keep the energy circulating in your body. Everytime you masturbate, think of yourself masturbating until you climax. This keeps the energy inside so it can be transformed into healing energy.

This may sound a bit wacky, but that's what i found.

Too bad i'm too undisciplined to follow my own advice.

An excellent thread by obliguhl earlier this year: Arousal Addiction

(Not saying you have an addition, but there's some good advice in there.)

Not sure if this would be a popular choice but have you considered a personal vow of celibacy for a period of time.

I was having "issues" regarding sexual energy and the like (due to childhood trauma), then I decided to take a year of celibacy, to focus myself on finding other things to think about etc.. Of course celibacy does not preclude masturbation and if you chose this for a period of time then perhaps some kind of "self-deal" to only whack the bishop (no offense Doc) a certain amount of times would be in order (all roads of change naturally require planning followed by concerted effort and self-discipline)..

Anyways, my year of celibacy ended up being two years, then I met the lady who became my wife "and we all lived happily ever after" (or did we lol).....

Doubt this helps but it's my two cents worth

what do you mean you can't? Why not? Besides, a random girl is only random until you talk to her. Get to know the bitch and she's not random.

maybe this article will help. http://www.rsdnation.com/node/60027

Have sex. If not with someone else, then with yourself. All this "too much masturbating" being unhealthy malarkey is wrong IMO. I think having negative thoughts about masturbating is a result of ingrained guilt from a society with a f**ked up value system and is puritanical. Masturbate if and when you need to, and be happy with the end result! Less guilt more thrapping!!!

Thanks everyone for the replies! They are all great, and have given me a wider view on the issue. I wish i could write more but I hurt my hand! I would love to hear more input from anyone!

Walter

In tantra, one of the techniques used is to visualize the energy rising up the spine as arousal grows, instead of accumulating at the genital area. I've found that focusing on slow and constant breathign and visualizing this energy rising is a very interesting practice in sex, and one is able to control ejaculation much more, at least ime.

I know this is not your case but I was thinking that maybe using this technique while masturbating, without actually ejaculating, might be one of the ways to use your arousal and yet keep the energy flowing without letting it go away.

Also maybe try looking into martial arts that use internal energy, like aikido, Im not sure how these 'subtle' energies relate but you might be able to use the energy overflowign in you in a productive way... Or at least its good exercise and keeps your mind elsewhere for a while

What about actually trying to find other girls?

Just some ideas... Let us know what works for you

Haha, Aikido sure would be a great way to transmute that energy! Even the watery, materialistic western approaches!

While I'm not one who's big on visualizing energy flowing here or there, or other fluffy lunar stuff of the like, I definitely have found huge help in adapting eastern techniques to my lifestyle and developing my sexual energy in that way. Specifically, the skill of separating the reflex of ejaculation from the state of orgasm is of the most use to me. I find that after a 3-hour ride on the brink of orgasm, ending in what could well be described as spiritual ecstasy and total relief... Well, I'm totally satiated to say the least. Not only that, but this sexual satisfaction lasts for days on end and opens doors to new ways of experiencing, appreciating and participating in the world within and without.

It can also really be an eye-opener to explore ways of letting that "sexual" energy out, beyond shooting it into a tissue and discarding it. Sexual energy plays a big part in creativity, art, work ethic, cultivation of responsibility, and relationships between people... and provided certain taboos and reservations can be seen around, even interaction between our fellow male friends. I'm not talking about homosexuality, but rather using that energy and vitality to engage our platonic loved ones and mutually create situations and experiences to participate in. Even better: all of these benefits stack... when practiced well, there's no up/down wave, but an ever accelerating spiral upwards in sexual gratification and understanding... not to mention overall health, happiness and quality of life.

It's really not uncommon at all for men to doubt or reconsider their masturbation habits, and there's no need to refrain from masturbation if you feel that it is not providing you with a sufficient outlet to your sexual energy. We all know that ignoring the flow can lead to occasional (or chronic) embarrassment, poor decisions and emotional unrest.... If you like masturbating and do it often, then there's no reason not to just get better at it! Sure, it takes a lot of learning and practice, but it's not like it hurts! Through learning the "ins and outs" of your body and mind through sex, you can easily achieve exactly the sexual satisfaction, growth and states of mind you wish to achieve and explore, and do this intentionally with understanding of what you are doing.

Plus, by learning to effectively handle your own body, pleasure and desires, you can put all that knowledge and experience to work in regard to your partner's body, pleasure and desires... And that's were the real good stuff is!

Obviously not, maybe the Traveler can knock up a section on masturbation and sexual frustration?

the best way to really raise the kundalini is to do some intense masterbation, and at climax you point your penis right at your third eye and spermalate at it..the stuff is magical and it's totally esoteric.

Totally.

This will activate the pineal.

pure gold ,

this is what we were born to do people

just spermalate it all

Energy gathering/nurturing inner martial arts such as Qigong combined with sitting or standing meditation.

As Endless, Spartan and others have said... get into some tantra or other sexual energy cultivation. Most systems of internal arts have complex and effective means of transmuting sexual energy to other forms that may be more useful, or at least comfortable, for you.

I personally use the Taoist Sexual Cultivation Methods, but any yoga, chi kung or system of energy work will help.

In essence, what you need to do is refine and convert energy from your base chakra and raise it to the 2nd chakra or higher. In the 2nd chakra, such energy will be available for physical work and healing the body. The 3rd and 4th will open up emotional healing and connection to the universe stuff. Throat chakra and 3rd eye take it to dreaming and the spiritual... and the crown chakra allows for really transcendental stuff, as well as access to even higher chakras that are above your head.

The most common method of refining chi is to circulate it around your microcosmic orbit. This is a circuit that runs up your spine and over your head and down through the tongue to the gut to reconnect at the tail bone. The two gates that must be closed properly are the tongue to the roof of your mouth, and the squeezing of the perineum (taint).

Anyway, you will have to do some research, take some classes or find a teacher. Good luck, and don't knock masturbating... you won't grow hair on the palm of your hands. Don't knock random sex, or meeting girls who are casual with it... you may find you are missing out on a good thing.

wtf jamie gross!