Hi everyone,
Thank you all for your welcoming messages. This community seems like an amazing place to share and connect, here is my first DMT experience...
At first I was quite nervous, scared and excited for what was about to happen. I haven't had any psychedelic experience before so I had no idea what to expect. All in all I'm glad of this, as I think it is one of the key reasons I had such influential trip.
Interestingly, the theme of my experience was fear. Probably the most fear I have ever experienced or will ever experience. Nonetheless, it was perfect and I am so thankful for it... heres why.
We used a bottle pipe method, a plastic bottle with bottom removed, tin foil over the bottom. The 25mg dmt was rested on a tinfoil plate and used a torch lighter to vaporize the dmt, thick milky white smoke filled the bottle.
After inhaling all the smoke in one hit I immediately began to feel it reacting inside of me. As the smoke traveled down my wind pipe into my lungs I felt pulses shoot throughout my body almost like vibrations. The last place it seemed to reach was my brain. After this it felt like the dmt was pulsing out my brain into the world around me.
For some reason unknown to me, I didn't close my eyes, I was planning too but it just didn't happen. It all happened very quickly, but my room changed completely into a hyperspace marvel. Everything was so incredible I can't even describe but sure you all know what I mean. However, along with the amazement, fear was also present. It warped parts of my world and changed posters into dark deamons hissing at me. I recognised my fear and tried to ignore it, pushing it out of my mind. This worked temporarily... I started to stare strait forward from my bed, into the blank wall in front. From this state a single entity emerged, floating in a similar way to a foetus would float, in a warm orange calming way. Although it didn't speak to me, I get the sense of unconditional love flooding from it, like a mother. Not just to me though, to everything and everyone. It felt so powerful and beyond everything and anything. I then had a kind of vision of the earth and the evolution of humans throughout the ages, with space ships flying in to space to try and explore and realised how tiny we really are. How much more there is... not just humans but the galaxy and the universe. As if our universe is only a pixel of what really is. Again fear slipped over me and I realised I was back in my room, and more of the dark, evil things started to scare me again. The entity however was still there, it was telling me to 'let go', 'it doesn't matter', 'just let go'. As much as I tried, I struggled and the more I struggled to push it out of my mind the more the trip got darker and darker. It was a vicious cycle. Eventually, it was as though my whole room was dark devils getting closer and closer to me, it was so horrible and scary... literally nothing I can explain. It got so overwhelming that I thought I was going to die. But, amongst all the darkness I still felt the entity telling me to 'let go' 'everything is ok'. At this point, all the darkness was literally so close to me about to go through me.... and thats when i let go, I didn't care the darkness went straight through me, then sort of fucked me, trying to hurt me.... still I was fine, i was peaceful and calm. Everything was ok. Everything was perfect. As soon as I realised this, the darkness melted away and the trip became positive again. I saw the entity again and although there was no face, I felt a smile. A similar sort of smile to the way a mother would smile at her baby when taking its first steps.
At this point. Everything started to subside. The effects where wearing off and slowly I came back to reality. It as though it lasted about 30 minutes...but get this, my girlfriend said it lasted 30 seconds!
Its really strange but I am 100% sure of the message of this trip. As though all this translated to something I should do, As though the DMT gave me 'homework'. The evil, darkness in my trip represented the parts within myself which get: angry, anxious, depressed, scared and over react which I can sometimes tend to do. In order for me to go further with DMT I need to work on letting them melt away when I start to feel them in my life, they're not real, I should... 'let go' and 'everything is ok'.
My DMT experience was incredible. Even though parts of it where scarier than anything I have ever experienced. In the last few days I have noticed a difference. Things I would normally be angry, upset or over react about I let melt.... its amazing, it actually feels like they're melting. When i'm anxious and acknowledge it, I let go and return to a happy state of being!
I will definitely do DMT again, but not until I have had enough time working with my homework and I feel I'm ready to dive deeper into the DMT hyperspace.
Thank you for reading