Oh the sweet sorrow of being young and full of spunk...

I think you are over thinking this my friend. You are also conflating things that are not necessarily tied together. The typical advice you are receiving tends to also fall into this trap.

Let me break it down:

Love is not better than Sex
Sex is not better than Masturbation (w/ or w/o pron)

These are three different things that have their own pros and cons. Being in a loving relationship with a woman who will give you sex on demand 24-7 does not preclude the desire to view porn from time to time. In fact, once you have tagged her in every way possible and seen every inch of her in various forms of arousal... it is relatively common to want to see some other forms. (especially if they are doing something that your girl may not be into)

First of all, you must realize that this progression is such that each step requires exponentially more work on your part. Masturbation is a cinch. You can rub one out in the shower in a couple minutes. Actual sex takes some work.

You seem to be whining about opportunities and the like... sack up dude. It is not easy for anyone to convince a girl to throw her programming to the wind and get freaky without some serious investment in attention. You may be behind the bell curve on your social skills, but you can train them up. If you want to get laid, you will train for the hunt... and learn to close the deal.

Now, if you want to have love... that is gonna take a huge commitment. Generally, it will be larger than your career or hobbies... often combined. Don't listen to what anyone tells you. Despite the rather incredible high moments... relationships generally devolve into murky trench warfare in a fetid swamp. You may garner some peak experiences along the way... but you are certain to find your lowest points as well. Your first love is statistically nearly certain to break your heart... usually irreparably. This is not so bad, though, as that overly romantic thing you thought was your heart was actually some deeply ingrained programming.

I would say, you have to take the opportunity for love if it arises... but it will probably be something you rue eventually. Even when not regretting a single instant of that misery.

You may think you are miserable now... wanking away to female naked wrestling or whatever... but your misery now is shallow and petulant compared to the misery you will feel when your first love takes your heart and crushes it in her confused and hormonal hands.

People can say what they want... and I will be surprised if no one disagrees with me... but I am just telling it like I see it. And as someone who has had numerous relationships, long and short... as well as more loose sex than any man could wish for... I am not talking out my ass.

The running theme in all this is that your fantasy is what will destroy you... luckily, we can control this.

Last advice in a nutshell:

1) You need to move. It sounds like you live in a place that is not suited for you. Go move to a college town, or a party island in Thailand... at least for a while.

2) Don't restrict your sexual encounters to girls your age. Girls your age may defy gravity, but they are inexperienced morons full of bad ideas and dreams. Women who have already had a few relationships are much hornier and less hassle.

3) Don't follow the advice above about being honest from the start. This is bad advice. Mostly because you have no idea what you want at first. You can not tell some girl you are getting hot and heavy with what your long term intentions for the relationship are... you barely know her. You may wind up falling head over heels... you may not. Be honest about the fact that you have no idea what you are doing. Or just stay quiet and mysterious... which works better. Don't lie to them, but don't be that sad sap guy who thinks spilling his guts and getting all emotional is sexy... it isn't.

Okay, let the flaming begin...

Well hyperspace's reply kinda finished this thread as a whole.
Every piece of advice is given imo

Anyway OP, i have/had the same issue. But i've recently grown out of the "habbit".
I haven't been close to get laid, e-porn filled the gaps a little. But nowadays I just see how worthless the e-porn actually is.. It's all acted, for money, or just weird shit.

Yet finding the beautiful woman that isnt intoxicated by society's standards is what saddens me. The chance of finding such beauty available for me is just depressing

I mean, does that such thing even exist? From my experience, it doesn't. That also seems like part of the problem, for me, which is that I'm not drawn to any women I meet, other than thinking they're hot. Except foreign women. They have mystery to them. Relocating would help a lot, but other than that, my options seem slim.

If you guys are waiting around for a supermodel who is also a member of greenpeace, you are going to be spending the forseeable future with just your right hand for company. Just go out and get your nuts wet with someone you get on with. It goes a lot deeper than having superficial beauty and impeccable morals.
Foreign women are mysterious because you cannot understand what they are saying!!!!!!

^^^^ This is freakin funny! And true, lol.

Yes and no. From my experience, they have a different demeanor. I don't know exactly. I swear it isn't just the language barrier.

If it is real sexual satisfaction that you want, don't settle for internet Porn.
I know that Sexual Desire can be a most annoying, restless sensation that can drive you quite mad.

But man up and let this desire build up; Don't take the easy, fast way out and masturbate.
No let that energy drive you nice and mad.

And then, when you have about the feeling of a nuclear reactor running on full capacity in your groin-area,
go out to find and try your charm on some women. Let this high-power desire drive you to be couragous, spontanious & flirtatious.

If there's a bar/pub/club in your small town, then there will be drunk women.....What are you waiting for? And then there's still 1000nds of dating website. The less you masturbate, the more you will be motivated to persue the real thing.

I have no idea. No real bar scene here, so that's not an option. I do have a major state university about 30 min. away, but I still don't know what to do. I don't even know when women are flirting with me, tbh. Come to think of it, I'm pretty damn clueless. I might have bigger issues than just pornography, but I haven't scratched the itch in over 48 hours. I feel like I could fight a grizzly bear right now. This is definitely why I watch porn, because I've just gotten so used to extinguishing the fire so I can focus on other stuff.

I just have to say.......... I love the way HF thinks, writes and gifts others the whole truth and nothing but. I am still smiling at this and forever, as a consequence, I will carry the confidence to express it like this, as verbatum as I am able. Thank you HF ..you have made my day.
Just to add, right up the other end of the spectrum, and I'm talking like "When did you last have sex", I smile and proudly say " What ? with someone else"

Two things, 1/ A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle ! *fact 1*
2/ Loneliness........ is infinitely more palatable than the constant stress of other people's emotions.
Sex !!! ..... is just sooo messy.
GREAT Sexual passion can be found doing other things as well, sort of like Surfing (so I have heard), and music. So, next time the urge to pop one off in front of the computer porn (OP), go for a nice run or bike ride or fish, or swim or carve wood or fix a bicycle... Learn the guitar, gardening, astronomy, Or... DMT

Much love and respect. G

That 'thing' does exist, IMO only by myth and legend. You could try and mold one into what you want, and risk 'end up getting 'taken' 10 years down the track, or you could believe in Santa and white bunnies. One the other hand, there does seem to be an abundance of seemingly happy couples out there having great sex. I'v seen some really cool chics with other guys.

Men at 18 want sex (and younger obviously). At 70, they want sex. Women want ............ I still dont know hahaha. But It's sort of like having a very expensive 'pet'. Some guys have 2 apparently.... Some women have 2 men.

My advice to your original question would be get a hobby now, so that when you decide later to geta hobby, you will already be good at it and have an even more meaningful existence. Porn is a hard habit to break... Bring humour into the mix and what do you get.. Derek and Clive 'Live'...

Aw shucks... yer gonna make me blush Gowpen.

Thanks. And be confident to express your truth... shout it from the rooftops. Unless, of course, you are talking to LEO, whitecoat shrinks, or other authority figures who might make you pay dearly for your honesty.

OP, I didn't mention this before, as I don't want to complicate things for you, and this will not be an immediate solution for you... but you may want to look into Tantric Yoga, or Taoist Sexual Cultivation. These arts can teach you how to use your sexual energy for other things, how to refine and circulate it so it doesn't sit in your lower chakra and drive you mad. It is worth getting good at, as you can even learn to orgasm without ejaculating. It should be accompanied by some other yogic study, though, to be most effective. (i.e. Chi Kung, Kundalini Yoga etc.)

Olympus mon, wise words, man, you got the point

Those are good recommendations, but my goal was to harness that energy to actually have sex and NOT do other things, which is essentially what I've been doing. I used to exercise like a maniac.

[quote=un-known-ome]

Those are good recommendations, but my goal was to harness that energy to actually have sex and NOT do other things, which is essentially what I've been doing. I used to exercise like a maniac.[/quote ]

Is there a 'red light' district near you, a $50 'rub and tug' to a full on sexual adventure for a couple of hundred. Is that an option. If not, then I cant help you brother.

I'm beginning to think this is a fake thread !!!! and its not April...
G

There is no such thing where I live. This thread is no joke: my situation is pretty bleak. If someone lives in a similar area, they would certainly understand.

Just as a follow up to this thread, I have identified porn as big factor, and I am going to stop viewing it, however my location is just as much of a problem. It's not that there aren't necessarily places to meet people, but the issue is a major shortage of people my age around here. Moving would be a big help, which brings me to another question: I have a job locally right now, and I'm booked working through the summer, and then after the summer ends, I have already accepted a year-long position that would bring me into 2014. However, there's not really any reason for me to be here, and other than my family there's just nothing keeping me here. Should I just get out of here, screw the job, and move on?

I suppose that depends a great deal on how good of a job it is. If it is a job you could easily do elsewhere, I say bail. But if it is your dream job, or chance of a lifetime thing, then stay.

Chances are you will be able to find an equivalent (or better) job wherever you decide to go. I would fly the coop, and not just to the next town over. Go somewhere really cool. Live the dream while you can. Once you get stuck and sacrifice your freedom to have a family or whatever... you won't be able to.

Go forth and sow thy wild oats.

whats up people ? i see more and more threads about sexuality , masturbation and all that , i thought all this was under control ............

also why not let pornography destroy your sex life ? ( ya i guess i am in an awesome mood )

edit : just kidding people

It's not a job I could do anywhere else, actually, but neither is it a dream job. I have less than ten grand in the bank, so I don't know how far that will get me. I suppose I could wait it out for another year, save my income, and then make the decision, and I'll be 23 with some good years ahead of me hopefully. I'll go somewhere that there are actually real live women, and where there are actually things to do. That will help my situation immensely. In the meantime, I have no idea what to do.

Anyway, thanks for the replies to this thread. I think it's helped me sort some things out.