Hi all,

Ok so its been 10 days since my journey with Dmt. (my first ever psycadelic ever taken).
My head is still extremely clouded most of the day. Ive completely reset my head it seems as every part of my life that i had before is now a shattered mess that i cant scrape back together.
Feel disconected from the world, No sex drive at ALL for 10 days, cant focus at my job (which i usually enjoy), everything i used to enjoy is just confusing and numb - drawing art, bodybuilding, going out for dinner, catching up with friends, watching sport going to the beach (all good things that usually bring positive energy into my life are now obsolite)
There is no emotion inside of me only deep deep confusion about what i real and what isnt. I keep tripping out contemplating weird and strange possibilites that i am living in a computer simulation and its making me freak out and dry reach..
I dont know what the hell is going on. I have to ring a Sharman healer every day so that she can calm me down and energy balance me.. Every night i have heavy heavy heavy lucid dreams that leave me in a semi-dream state when i awake and it takes me until 10am every morning to feel semi-alive and human again.. Its like groundhog day...
I have completely lost the person i was before. And that person was highly self motivated, amused by simple thijgs in life, loving, inspired and very positive geared.. Now what? I dont know what is going on.. Im deeply confused..
I thout this stuff was going to expand my conciousness a little.. Nit completely destroy the person i am... Its making me sick..

What can i do? Will this subside?

can someone please help.

edit: ill also add that i have injested huge amounts of weed (not for 4 years now) a fair bit of E in my time, and more recently MDMA on 3 occasions -( about 1 year ago) And never ever had a problem with any of them.

Reading this section on Integration should be helpful.

The best thing I can recommend is to just treat yourself well; take it easy, focus on the little things and just live it out. As the old saying goes, "This too shall pass."

If you experience severe or prolonged psychological distress from this and find yourself totally unable to integrate this experience, it may be a good idea to seek the assistance of a mental health professional.

Appreciate it dreamer.

Im feeling like the core problem here is that i am taking my experience way too serious. All that i saw was complex patterns and when i opened my eyes i saw the patterns on the walls and floor.
And from this, i seem to be 2nd guessing myself constantly that there is a secret dimention stacked below ours or something.. Or that the whole world is just a computer generated game... and I dont want to beleive that because it Interfears with my thought patterns way too much.. Eveytime i see a car go past or something im thinking is that just a computer generated image? When its not, its a manufactured machine made by a real life human being.. And everytime i get a quiet moment to myself im thinking about this stuff.. I cant let it go at the moment..
I feel like im going to lose everything, my job, my money, my family...
I want to stop thinking about this and move on but i cant do it so far...

listening to sounds continuously and not thinking is the one way that works for me extremely well

no matter how great a thought just let it go , just listen continuously , dont think even for a moment

the one way to be instantly free

pay attention all the time , do whatever you want yet never stop listening to the external sounds

edit : the problem seems to be the power of thougths have amplified to the level of causing great gaps in power of hearing , it takes practice and thats why many are meditating , make this a habit and i promise you it will serve you well

Stop to breathe when you can, relax, hang in there and get by with a little help from your friends.

It happens more than you might think. Things get better, and you're not alone in it no matter how it might seem.

Happy Trails.

this is a quote from your other thread https://www.dmt-nexus.me...&m=459612#post459612 and as you'e observed thinking is not going to help you ,

also dont only listen to the music listen to each and every sound on the streets , noises , everything , listen to your own sound as you talk and to other as they talk , listen continuously to everything



well i mind having any thought in my mind as its only a thought and i am more into being in the moment ......i'll advice you to do the same .......let go and listen

no need to have thoughts as a part of your life .... infact try having a clear mind as a part of your life , this will help you with everything including career and all that

it will take time for this to become a habit , yet with enough practice it gurantees you a very powerful mind

Thankyou once again Jin.

You are right. Its very hard for me at the moment as ignoring these thoughts leave me feeling like i am living in denial from the truth (as wrong as that is). I feel like these thoughts Are sitting there waiting for me to confront them. Its very scary as subcontiously i know that my visualisations were a mere manifestation of my own imagination, but my rational mind wants to explore them deeper.

EDIT: and yes meditation is on the cards in the next few days. Looking forward to it.

..i wish i knew more about what exactly you smoked (i.e purity of extract..was it mixed as changa etc..)
you could be in a de-toxing process..
but, also, the state you describe sounds more related to your thought process than the experience itself..
the rational mind trying to find an ultimate explanation of the experience is probably impossible..
becoming so fixated on such a mental quest is probably going to lead round in circles..
not everything may need explaining..

my advice, exercise well and eat well..find a flow, not rationalisation..
whatever the mind says, it's not your heart..you can't lose that..
.

Hi nen888,
Thanks for the kind advice, i am doing my best to take it all onboard.
The substance was exactly like black/maroon ear wax, extremely sticky? It had a strong odour. It tasted like burning car tires. (wow that sounds pretty messed up when i read back on it).
To the best of knowledge it was extracted from the australian acacia plant.

you know that you are not your thoughts

also truth happens to be mostly outside not inside ,

think about this all our senses sight , hearing , smell , taste , touch are all focused on experiencing the external world , why do you then decide to look inward into nothing

focusing on the moment is focusing on the truth as the moment exists while thoughts are merely projections of your own mind , living in denial is exactly what thinking is all about , you're living in denial by thinking

if you want to face the truth , enjoy the moment as it is the truth

if you win from your thinking than you can really win

remember trying to replace a negative thought with a positive one is like tryin to heal a wound with the same knife you got cut initially from so not thinking and listening , paying attention to breath are all good ways to control your mind and hearing helps you avoid the inner dialogue alltogether

the voice in your head is not you ,

thought is the prison for the mind ........ freedom lies outside , having our five senses focused on the outside world really explains it quite well , if it would'nt serve a function in our evolution we would'nt have these senses

while thought is an invention of modern day lifestyle where you're continuously burdened about thinking about career , money and all that , worrying about the future continuously and living in the past .......its sadly very unintelligent to be this way

to do you best at each and every moment in your life , you have to be in the moment first

free your mind ( pun intended )

if you can successfully practice hearing each and every moment everything you can .......tell me in a year how far you get with everything , be it career or anything

you're now in control of your own life DMT might have shifted your autopiliot settings yet you can excel far beyond your autopilot if you put in an effort

try reading a book without listening to any sounds and while listening to music ....you might observe you're understanding more , try washing dishes with listening to the sound of the water and notice how easy it becomes , life is easy if you know how to live in the moment

remember nothing has changed after the DMT experience its only you , DMT is profound so it does make you think yet if you're fascinated just go again , try a lower dose rather than think about it all day

when eating eat , when sleeping sleep , when working work , don't waste your time with thoughts and while doing all of that keep listening to the sounds for all of it is music once you start listening to it that way

also don't smoalk DMT until you feel back to your old self and only if you wish to , dont just believe what i say , try experiencing the truth for yourself , can take some time to be your old self yet focusing on sounds continuously will get you there faster and perhaps even a better self ,

dont think it will only cause further deteoration , well i believe thought is kind of a disease to tell you the truth , get rid of it be unemotional about this , your thought might act like your best friend when its your real enemy .........i know i have used strong words such as "enemy" when it comes to thought , yet if it was not your enemy then why won't it bring you peace , comfort , confidence and career growth ,

There could have been a decent amount of 5-meo-DMT in the extraction, I'm not sure. Either way, N,N-DMT and/or 5-meo-DMT is a baptism of fire in the world of psychedelics. The good news is neither of these things creates any long-term problems.

There can be numerous reasons that things are difficult post-trip; you'll be ok. You might have discovered that this world is a projection, but you lived this far with a projection, ,regardless if it is or not; it isn't relevant.

Let me put it this way. You don't have to be a mechanical engineer, or even an auto-mechanic to drive a car. It doesn't really matter if you know all the details, driving is driving, so just relax and drive.

If it doesn't pass in a few weeks and you want to speed things up, consider tai-chi, and or yoga. Both are very centering.

Jin you are incredible. I truely appreciate everything that you have told me. I will do my best to practice everything you have suggested. It makes perfect sense.
(im appologise if this frustrates you) - the only frightening thing left inside me is the fact that i have the potential to think about something that bothers me deeply. Every other obstacle in my life so far i have dealt with.. Any other thought i can handle - death, loss of loved one, anything negative be it possiblity or past event. I can handle those thoughts and push forward at any given time. Im hoping that in the time this thought will become easy to deal with.
For now i will follow your instruction closely.
Much love

P.S. Waking up in the morning after heavy dreaming and feeling wacked outta my head and disconnected from reality is not helping. Hopefully when this subsides, i will find it easier to heal.

it does not frustrate me atatll , i have even suffered with this and still do suffer sometimes yet i've found great healing in the moment

yet learning to let go of thinking and looking at thinking as a process which is the byproduct of all our other five senses helps me , thinking is like a waste product our mind comes up when it interacts with our senses

in one way its like urine and excrement of the mind , while our five senses and the input is like the orginal food our mind gets , i choose to be in a continous mode of consuming pure input rather than any excrement byproduct that results

look at this scenario you're walking by the street you see a flower and all thoughts of interconnectdness and what not might come as it does in my head , yet all that thought is just a byproduct of the orginal observation of looking at the flower

to be fast one must be in the moment as the moment is fastest of all , its best to look at the flower properly than look at the next flower and so on , no need to have a thought loop in between , enjoy beauty not think it

as we all know the universe is like eternity , and planet earth is in the universe , we are experiencing eternity right now and that is a fact , sure we are on earth working jobs and all that yet its also true we are living under the stars and this place is magical

to be alive is a mystical and amazingly grandiose phenomenon , its our duty to fully experience this grandeur without any attachment or aversion and to do this perfectly we must come out of our minds and observe reality in all its glory continuosly without any need for second guessing and thinking unnecessarily

we are experiencing eternity all the time even as we sit here on the computer , we are in the universe which is simply grand , and experiencing eternity is common everyday phenomenon in this universe , sure we have a very human model of understanding that does'nt allow us such great views and keeps us busy working , mating , sleeping

yet its all good , just open up let go of thinking and experience everything that life has to offer , and no need to engage in thinking as its just a byproduct waste of our mental processes , minimize it by hearing continuously and one day thinking will be totally gone

life could be a great grand alien experiment yet one must stop thinking and witness the great experiment in all its glory , for we are all here to witness the magic in all its glory , yet the magic can only be experienced not thought about

thought is only a waste product don't try consuming it , the experience is real food try eating it with all your senses ( i must be hungry later everyone )



also i agree with this totally

Understood. Im looking forward to making progress. Thanks again Jin.

Hey man... welcome to the club.

Sad to say, but no one goes very far down the spice hole without coming back at times with this feeling you have. It is a kind of Ennui coupled with Existential Angst. It is perfectly natural to have this reaction when confronted with world shattering truths and blatant evidence that the life you have been living and thinking of as "all there is" is not even the tiniest of fractions of what is out there.

Humbling... and very destructive to your egoic worldview.

You don't even seem to remember the most striking parts of your trip... after all, why would some colorful patterns affect you so? You likely had a lot more things happen to you in hyperspace, but you have shut it all down. This is why you feel like it could jump out at any minute... because it can. At some point, you will have to integrate this stuff.

That time, is not now, though. What you need to do, is follow Jin and others' advice and start practicing mindfulness and meditation. Let everything go and live your life. After a period of time (usually no longer than 2 weeks) you will return to some semblance of normative reality. In time, you may even forget that something bothered you.

Unfortunately, this will not be the end. You will be forced to deal with this stuff eventually. Hopefully by then, you will have acquired some skills and perspective... some roots and grounding... and will be able to integrate it all more easily.

If you were struck by this experience unawares, than I sympathize with you my friend. No one should give someone spice without letting them know that there is a chance they will never be the same again. If your friend didn't inform you of this or other pertinent things, than he deserves some scolding and should be remiss. Alas, the cat never goes back in the bag properly... and pandora's box being opened for you is not consequence free.

You will be fine. But you may never see the world the same again... I find this to be a good thing. After all, why live with a pretty lie? I suppose it comes down to this... red pill or blue pill?

All the best man. Hang in there.

HF

Hi Ajb,

Thanks for your post. It reminded me of my own experience after I had a first breakthrough with DMT. It also took me by surprise (and I don´t think anyone can be really "ready" for anything like that). I also needed some time to "reassemble" myself after that game-changing Event. A few things helped me to integrate the experience:

- I read a lot on the psychedelic experience by ´wise´ elders / or listened to their talks (there are a few good Internet podcasts dedicated to the psychedelic community such as Psychedelic salon or Psychonautica). Listening to others, and reading what they have to say about their own experience led me to realize that I´m not the only one who had this earth shattering experince. (Listen to Terence McKenna describing how DMT changed his life )

- I spent a good portion of my time here, at the Nexus, reading other people´s experiences. This also led me to conclusion that what was happening to me was in a sense "normal"

And welcome to the club, AJB. As you realised yourself, DMT can be very straightforward and merciless in a sense: it puts you THERE directly and instantly, without offering you much space for negotiating... It is important to take a time "off", not to rush into fast conclusions, and not to force too much meaning onto your experience.

DMT experience is one of the weirdest things that can happen to a human being. It can never be fully "understood" (at least not puely rationally), and nobody trully knows what it is really about. So being confused etc. after experiencing the impossible is... you know... rather understandable



I agree with Hyperspace Fool. DMT threw me into a temporal state of confusion... later leading me (forcing me? ) to positively re-evaluate my life and my relationship to the world.


I think you didn´t make a wrong decision

Idk about anyone else but doesn't that seem weird?

I wish you the best op.

Thanks for the feedback everyone.

Last two days have been much better. I've been able to get control of my thoughts about negative ideas and recognise that they are are only my own creation and are hurting me. I'm doing my best to live in the moment and its helping a lot.

Yes I understand what you are saying completely. The concern that I have is that I don't want this experience to impact on the positive aspects of my life. For example: I'm at a BBQ with good friends everything is going well, then all of a sudden I start pondering reality again (is this real, is this happening). - what I'm getting at is that I don't feel like this is a healthy way to operate. I don't want this disconnected feeling to continue. I still want to be able to join in with human beings and appreciate the simple things without questioning everything.

I'll add that I feel like I'm not connected with my body and surroundings still. I'm finding it hard to feel connected to the earth again. I mean who would want that? The earth is beautiful.
So the problem for me lies more in the way I feel, rather than what I'm thinking at the moment..

..Ajb i'm glad you're feeling a bit better..you wrote: ..i'd echo Botanical Bliss here..
this is definitely not just DMT..from the description there may be betacarbolines or other alkaloids in there..even potentially phenethylamines..this could explain the afterhanging effects..acacias vary wildly and people should be cautious of what others present them as 'dmt' without further info..
you've been shown more, no doubt, than you were expecting..
sounds like you're coming through ok..and great advice here from jin, Hyperspace Fool and all..
..

Hi Nen.
Thanks again. Yeah i definately think that there was something else going on with it. As i said, ive managed to calm my mind under instruction from Jin and other members. The help is much much appreciated as I really felt on the verge of mental breakdown.

I dont think i broke through at all tho. As i only took 1 hit and I blacked out for no longer than 30 seconds to 1 minute or so maximum (As my friend recalled for me)

Ill just re-evaluate my previous post. To put my finger on how im feeling.
I dont seem to have a very good emotional connection with my world at the moment. All the things that made up my life and that made me feel good to do and look forward to:
-Cooking
-Training
-Hanging with friends
-Seeing my mum and dad
-Driving a car
-Riding a bike
-Having Coffee at a cool cafe
-Watching the football
-Going for a bush walk
-Starting a family one day
-Sex with a sexy girl (are you kidding me! how can that be right?)

All good, positive simple things dont seem to have any emotion linked to them at the moment. It just doesnt feel the same. This combined with the feeling that i am still disconected from my physical body and the earth, heavy dreams most nights and spending a majority of the day walking around feeling stoned outta my head kinda sucks. All these things used to give me a familiar little buzz. Now, there is nothing. I cant see how this could be a good thing at all? These things used to be my motivation for life and now there is just empty.
Yes i appreciate that DMT may have opened my mind to new posibilities, but it would be nice to be able to come down back into physical life properly?

As i mentioned before - I was hoping that this experience would leave me with a sense of wonder about the 'posibilities' of the universe. Not Completely wipe my hard drive and make me feel like a zombie all day.
I am very much a self motivated person. My thought process for my life:
VISUALISE AND FEEL THE RESULT IN MY HEAD/WORK TOWARDS THE GOAL/ENJOY THE RESULT (REPEAT)

Thanks again everyone