Lately I have felt like something has been consuming me, changing me, altering my though process. It reaches out to me in many dreams/nightmares and I have also witnessed it in some psychedelic induced visions as well.

Basically this all started four years ago, when a large dose of Chaliponga was mixed with mimosa, passionflower, whippets, and several blotters of questionable LSD. (I know, not smart).

After I begun tripping way to hard and having uncomfortable physical ailments and vascular restriction, I reached a state where I was basically warping around my house through different dimensions and such, which I later dubbed the upside down shoe lands, for no real good reason.

Several times I warped in front of the bathroom mirror, and when looking at my own reflection, I felt very unsettled as it was not quite my usual self, but an alternate being. It seemed evil and grotesque to me.....

I took a break from most psychedelics for a long time, because when I would dose, I would feel like this demon is trying to take over my body, and push out the real me.

Now to the present: In the last few months, I have been having very strange dreams/visions (I don't sleep very much, so it is very hard to distinguish between hallucinations and dreams at times). In the first dream, I wake up in my bed and the clock says 7:00AM. I try to get up but feel very strange and suddenly look towards the door. There is a figure standing in the doorway, and it seems to be restricting my movement. I struggle for what seems like several minuets, and can not make out its face. All I can tell is that it was facing my way and had a dark colored aura, not necessarily negative, just dark colored. I suddenly wake up for real and then the clock still says 7am.

Several months later, I start to feel very strange. I seem to act in strange ways and many friends say that I am no longer the person I was six months ago. I have these continuing dreams, where something is wrestling with my mind, trying to push me out.

In real life, I can tell that I am changing a lot. People seem to be afraid of me for no particular reason, almost as if I put off killing intent sometimes. I feel like analysis of modern day tasks and human interaction has drastically changed, and through process is very different. I also only feel good anymore when I am acting on pure instinct, (breaking/hitting things, eating, extreme exercise to the point of exhaustion and I do things that even I cannot explain the reasoning.

So all of this boring background info leads to one realization/possibility to me: Rather then a demon trying to posses me, I feel like this "other" me that I see and feel is merely my suppressed personality. Honestly, I am starting to like this other personality, and I am slowly letting it taker over/merge. It might just be the personality that is my true self, but has been locked away by how I was raised, and how society has raised me. What make you of this nonsense?

Peace & Love

I've had an encounter with a dark aura-ed figure a few times. It sucked my life force out of me....connected to my spine behind my heart center and at the base of skull.

I'd like to call it a parasite, but that's exactly what it was.

Sounds a lot like what you have.

I was told at an ayahuasca retreat that I had a very dark energy surrounding me, feeding off me, and it feels this way.

I was also told by a good lady there that I had astral entity attached to me.... That I will have to transform or die. She threw up not 20 minutes, being affected so badly.

Be aware.Recuperate your nervous system. Hold to the higher power, the center, that's within you.

I've had the same thing happen with breaking stuff, yelling and overall not having a good life.

Look into Multiple Personality/Dissociative Identity Disorder, if it is troubling you and speak to a PCP/Psych maybe, I know they changed Multiple Personality to Dissociative Identity Disorder to allow a larger grouping of people, they are even claiming that a multiple personality can be as simple as someone with road rage, or a crossdresser, with a femme/masc alter ego (Lets not get into a debate about Trans/Crossdressing differences either, I know sometimes even the mention sets people off).

I stumbled upon that notion researching something else once, it made a lot of sense to me, as sometimes when I drive I really do almost change to a different person, I am not reckless per se but I do drive fast, and tend to huff and puff a lot sometimes raising my voice when someones driving even a tad slower than I'd like to go... I was born in MA, no longer living there though. However maybe I'm just a "Mass-hole" like everyone calls it. Its almost like I black out for a second and do those things in a car without thinking it through though then when I realize I was yelling it seems silly to me unless someone else did something truly warranting a good scream....