7 doses in, middle of winter in buffalo ny.


About 50 minutes, sitting in my mom's apartment, alone with the television on some ramdom network of media regurgitation and commercial overload. The colors of the wacky animated children's cartoons were starting to bleed onto my walls. Flashing on and off but surly enclosing me in a gradual stained glass bubble of trails and geometry. I didn't like that show. I turned off the properly named "brainwash box" and grew very aware of my silent surroundings. The ceiling began to curl over my peripherals and the sage green walls began to breathe with me, they knew my movements. I pressed my hands into my face for a tangible feeling of living tissue, my mind instead, decides to allow my nerves to feel the sensation of digging into my open flesh and groping my sinus organs and my ocular organs, "gross" I think as I'm envisioning my own hands burried deep into my open face wounds, grasping and fondling my own insides. I pulled my hands out of the virtual suction and stare at them. No blood, no veins, bare fleshy pink sweating palms.. someone keeps walking around me, I can feel their presence I can see their silhouette but every time I search directly for them they blend into the patterns surrounding my aura.. so I sit at the table in silence trying to hear my thoughts through the ramblings of sentences, memories and observations echoing through my mind. Now there's many of them,dark figures, not negative figures I wasn't frightened I just couldn't see their details. They all sat with me and followed my movements, they listened to my music and nodded their heads to the bass, they would keep getting up and switching places and sit somewhere else close to me. If I looked directly at them, like any hallucination, they'd vanish and start to appear in my peripherals where I was not directly looking. I started to feel high anxiety when I realized I was in this tiny cube of a living space, with dozens of other tiny living cubes around me, wall to wall, just people, living, eating, crying, drinking, making love, creating, destroying.. all of it . I couldn't take the thoughts, the sounds of their lives were slithering into my trip. I walked through the dated narrow hallway and found my way onto the roof of this 8 story apartment building. I trusted myself at that point. I could handle the textures of the floor I was walking on even though they were deceiving me and making beautiful floral patterns and serpent shapes gather at my feet. I stepped up the top floor and opened the door to the roof. The suction of the cold air competly engulfed my trip bubble. Giant white snow flakes fell onto my hot face and I worried it would dilute my doses I looked out into my city, ideally in a picturesque winter urban landscape(I envisioned a hey Arnold type scene with stunning visuals) when I adjusted my eyes to the pure white ambiance around me I focused into the birds eye view of my city. It slowly started decaying, the buildings melt into a surrealist shape and the white fades into a dull flat pink nude color the snow flying in the air creates the appearance of narrow translucent infinite walls extending inward and out they start flying past me and I can hear these random 80s new wave romance songs all jumbled up and fading in and out of my thoughts "this is nice stuff" I think when suddenly from behind me, this radiating warm bright red light shines from behind me in intense beams with streaks of aqua blue emerging between the rays. It's right over my head I can feel it watching me. At this point the light had completely warmed me physically and my mind becomes drowned in intense feelings of empathy, compassion and unexplainable gnosis. Tears streaming down my cheeks while I'm mumbling something to myself not sure. I looked up in confidence to find a massive rough outline of shapes making up an eye. Seriously a giant eye staring right over me shooting red and blue beams from its gradually parting eye lids. And there. I got it. I wasn't sure what I had learned right at that moment and it took months to resonate and to actually make sense of the racing thoughts I had. I still can not completely explain the exact lesson I was taught but I spent hours of the come down self reflecting, and watching homeless people push carts up and down the street in the deep snow. My perception is never the same. Share your favorite Lucy stories? Anyone have anything similar happen to them? Entities, empathy, and physical sensations? Share.