Thank you all for the warm and loving replies. Reading through this thread a few times really helped me get past the big lowdown. I feel much better now, even though I'm still easily brought to tears and feel sad. The suicidal thoughts have thankfully subsided. Those thoughts were my biggest concern as they were really disconcerting.
I've quit taking other substances in the past week. I used cannabis to help deal with some of the initial flack and to render me couchlocked but I stopped that as well. I am still taking the 5-htp and I intend to take a 50mg dose twice a day. I've caught up my sleep debt and I'm paying some more attention to my diet.
To answer a few questions that popped up in this thread:
- We were smoking enhanced leaf and not changa for the exact reason mentioned: harmalas + MDMA can be a potentially lethal combination
- The pills did contain MDMA as they were tested
I've done some reflection on the situation and in retrospect I was unprepared for the dose and as a result paid a terribly high price. I hadn't eaten well for two days before due to stress, wasn't feeling 100% and then messed up with the recovery. I've changed my diet and ever since I started eating better a lot of the negatives were disappearing as well.
Thank you all for the love. Each and everyone of you are beautiful. Much love <3
The spice extends life.
The spice expands consciousness.
The spice is vital to space travel.