I think everyone lives this way, whether they're cognizant of it or not. Ebb and flow, it is the way of the universe The duality of man is something I've always been fascinated with.

Those dark nights just become shorter and less dark the more you live an in-tune, all-around healthy life style.

Me too. Go for a walk in nature. Take up a hobby. Cancel your internet You can still access forums with public wifi.

Yeah I expected someone to say that

Actually I'm of the belief that we are divorced from our primal roots. Life is "too easy" in terms of convenience and abundance and this means the body doesn't really get much of a workout. We don't really get the full spectrum of experience unless we go out of our way to, through whatever activities like rock climbing or saunas or meditation or wine tasting or whatver. Things that tickle all the various receptors and their senses.

As a result of this divorce life becomes somewhat bland in terms of a person's inner experience, even if they are living what looks like a glorious life on the outside. Meditatively speaking this opens the doorway to thought loops ("being in a rut" or learned helplessness until a person can see through such conditioning. As you can see from the obesity epidemic sedentariness and cushtiness do not help the body in the least, we need to break out of our comfort zones just like our ancestors would have all day long and as native/tribal people do to this day.


Arousal addiction extends far beyond pornography, that's just the tip of the iceberg. The whole way we experience life has changed; the human is bombarded with information from all directions: billboards, road signs, adverts, television, internet, dense cities, music, etc. These naturally shift our brain into arousal-addiction habituated pathways but it's up to us to be in control of our attention rather than being led around by the most powerful stimulus of the moment.


Where I'm from, if you cut your leg, you'd clean it with water and be on your merry way. No antiseptic around, no crying, no hassle. It's a 'deal with it' mentality and this is true for most people originating in rural areas. That's what I find exceedingly missing from city life. The body's hardness & resilience just doesn't really get tested much.

Wow, this thread has involved into something really practival and helpful. The ideas shared are all though provoking and i'm grateful that the response has been so great!

The idea that we are living too comfortably is something to consider. Not because i believe that comfort per se is a bad thing, but because it allows us to slip into patterns of comfort addiction if we do not live a very active and meaningful life. This turns us into zombies, suspectible to all kinds of negative (corporate, political) influence.



I'm not too sure about that. I'm listening to this book recommended on the porn addiction website "The brain that changes itself" and right in the beginning, they explain a rather curious case of a woman who always falls, because her balance system in the ear is destroyed by 98%. Somehow they invented a device to train the brain to stand upright without any problem. As long as she'd wear the helmet, she could walk.

The really fasciinating part: The effect carried over like an afterimage. At first it was just a couple of minutes, then hours, weeks, months..and eventually, she wouldn't have to train her brain at all and could walk normaly! It seems that regular training for 20 minutes does rewire the brain and i bet it is easier to meditate regularly for 20 minutes each day than 2 hours.

If you think about meditation, doesn't it train the brain to be still? Even after you stopped meditating....i have to do it.

Then, i want to share with you some sort of vision i had last night. I had finished my cup of caapi and was off to sleep but masturbated before. As always, i focused on myself, my body and my ability to be sexual. Then, the message was recieved:

- Masturbation while focusing on oneself stirrs up stale energy and makes it pump through your body. This is how healing happens
- Meditation keeps the energy from escaping

So i guess psychedelics are similiar to my new way of masturbating and i can see how meditation completes the practice. Masturbation to porn (phantaSY) on the other hand allows sexual energy to escape.

How are you supposed to heal this way?



That's in fact a brilliant idea

just forget about porn, and go have sex already

came across this earlier http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23460298

"Sexual experience enhanced the number of newly generated neurons in the dentate gyrus with both single and repeated exposures in middle-aged rats. Following continuous long-term exposure to sexual experience, cognitive function was improved. However, when a prolonged withdrawal period was introduced between the final mating experience and behavioral testing, the improvements in cognitive function were lost despite the presence of more new neurons. Taken together, these results suggest that repeated sexual experience can stimulate adult neurogenesis and restore cognitive function in the middle-aged rat as long as the experience persists throughout the testing period."



yea wth

Good stuff, so there is hope for middle aged rats like me
Yes, everyone who can should have lots of real sex on a ongoing basis!

Today i have discovered new habits which should be destroyed:

1. Showering longer than necessary because "it's so coooozy"
2. Turning your head everytime something moves
3. No hate towards strangers on the street. If an effort to love them telepathicaly fails, an effort to understand why they're douches needs to be undertaken. This is taking positive thinking to the next level.

I also learned that neurons can form new patterns in the brain but that there is limited space for these "maps" and that there is some sort of competition going on. So getting rid of terrible habits or those you just don't need frees up energy for more important things....

whats wrong with enjoying a hot shower?

nothing. for me personally though, spending too long in too hot of a shower messes with my skin. i usually end it on cold with the faucet on my head. it feels amazing and supposedly cold showers are great for the immune system/skin. the other thing with hot showers has to do with the chlorine in the water but thats another topic! sorry to derail

here is a question..

Do you people have any hobbies or activites you do daily? Or do you just sit inside with nothing else to do and this is why you are spending so much time watching porno and masterbating?

Get a hobby or something to do on a daily basis that gets you out of your home and in nature or outdoors. If nothing else go jogging or get a bike or something. Rather than spending time thinking about how long of a shower you should be having etc I think you will find your time being used far more productivly if you just have something set aside to go and do.

Besides, then you might meet other real humans out there and trust me, the warmth of another persons naked body beside you can be far more comfortable than any hot shower..unless maybe they are in the shower with you.

Even if you only do something a hour a day just do it. Man I cant handle just being inside all day long..I have to go for a hike or something at some point in the day and in the summer I try to get out skimboarding every day when I can. Maybe you people just have too much unused energy that your releasing with chronic whacking?

I've given up alot of addictive behaviors in the past couple years. But none that I had been doing since age 12. Masturbating on the internet definitely greatly outnumbers my sexual encounters. [Which are numerous]. I have cut down to twice a week in the last year. And this has given me the distance to see that this behavior is kind of a waste.

I have a girlfriend and get sex weekly[atleast] so I won't be going completely celibate but the extra energy during the week is great, real creative and social energy. To work on art and to just be nice to everyone I meet even if they are just a cashier at a store. I also find my attitude towards woman and my, "man as a hunter for sexual prey" mode of thought is decreasing and becoming transparent to my improving self. This thread gave me the final drive I needed to just drop the habit. Thanks for all the replys.

And guys punching gravel, and subjecting themselves to thermal extremes. Like jamie said, get a hobby or a girlfriend. Or take two weeks off the internet or something. Sounds extreme...

Remember....

'Doing things' is certainly important. I acknowledge the fact, that living an active life with a purpose, friends and a job you enjoy is of paramount important for emotional health. It helps prevent negative, potentially addictive thoughts and behaviours...

BUT

How do you get to 'doing things' if you're so weighted down by youur negative habits and thoughts? This might seem ridiciolous to many people and i don't beg to be understood. Still, it is a fact, that I would love to do things but i simply don't have the mental and emotional capacity to do it because everything seems dull and meaningless. This is why these small behavioural changes are so important: They help freeing up ressources.

Taking small steps is good advice, but for folks who are literally ROTTING emotionaly, riding your bike for an hour a day is a drop in the ocean if it's the only thing you do. I'm speaking from experience.

@No Knowing
Great you are taking active steps to change your behaviour. I also won't be punching gravel.

"How do you get to 'doing things'"

You just do. All the time spent here talking about this you could be out there doing something. You could go right now. You go outside and ride your bike or go job, go hike..walk around..do something. It's your choice. You can still choose to go out and do something even when you dont feel super great about it sitting there thinking about it.

You can come up with 1000 different excuses, or you can just go outside right now.

What makes you think strangers are douches? I weep for a world where we all walk down the streets, averting our eyes because we all think eachother douches. The next douche/stranger you pass in the street could be the person who helps you sort your porn/masturbation issues out. Following on from that , you fall in love with eachother and, due to your raised mood, you end up seeing the country of your birth in a different light.
Its possible

Doing stuff is definitely key.

An effective way of thinking that doesn't inhibit us for emotional reasons from starting a new acitvity. Is avoiding the "depth charge" [coined by Antero Alli]

The "depth charge" is that paralyzing feeling our emotions put us in when we either believe the whole world is meaningless. (My self and the universe will all be gone someday so what's the point...)

Or that, Every little action holds COSMIC significance. (I dropped my sandwich so mankind will lose the Zeta Reticuli conflict of 2855 a.d.)

Both of these views will paralyze one's actions. The best course of action, in my experience...is somewhere in the middle. Sometimes stuff is significant and sometimes its not, we will never really know. If we just act without tying our actions to emotional significance we will begin to flow.

...About changing actions two things that have helped me change habits. Are starting a day with the resolution and make the day about that resolution. Example, wake up and KNOW that you will not be masturbating this day. Only live for that day and follow through. Anyone can make it one day right? "One day at a time." "Today, is day 1" [these trite NA and AA slogans do work for any addictive behavior]

And another weird thing I learned about changing behavior was when you get rid of a behavior, start a new one the same day. IT doesn't have to be related. But this new behavior will reinforce your change and set new connections in your brain.

Example, I don't want to masturbate today. I will do 20 pushups today and everyday I don't masturbate. [I like making the new habit productive but it can be ANYTHING]

Another example....I want to stop smoking. I will wash my hands three times a day. [it can be this mundane]

This sounds ridiculous but I heard it from a favorite psychologist of mine (Christopher S. Hyatt) and it really does work. TRY IT.

And in finding things that are "worth" doing one can get frozen if they are thinking about how to make money, improve the self, achieve enlightenment, end world hunger. I have found it easier to just start with what is fun for you. If bike riding isn't fun do something else. EVERYONE enjoys something that isn't [too] addictive find out what those are and start doing them.

I agree with jamie's perspective here; obli, if you feel you are on a loop of negative emotions-bringing negative habits-bringing negative emotions and so forth to the point that you "simply don't have the mental and emotional capacity to do it because everything seems dull and meaningless", I doubt whether little changes or even mud wrestling with the gravel will help much, because you're not dealing with the cause of your state. All these little tricks you do is just beating around the bush, and not even the right bush (if hairy chicks are your thing...)

If you're not getting much stimulation from your life in general and you only end up wanking in your flat, then it's maybe time to do something radical; go to another country, volunteer for the red cross, get involved with community projects all over the world, hell even write a book about masturbation, it REALLY can't be that hard. If not anything else, it won't be worse that what you feel now.

But in reality you DO have hobbies, at least if you take learning about psychedelics as a hobby. You could certainly devote this more time and expand on that, instead of devising all these weird rituals.

I'm so sorry but a lot of these responses especially regarding skin level attractiveness issues seem incredibly immature/virgin to me.

Unless you FALL IN LOVE WITH A MIND, everything you are doing is porn/masturbation.

Just one woman's opinion who is closer than ever to her husband of 25 years, even though he has cancer and his teeth are falling out.

Think about it - it's the biggest blessing in my life, which otherwise has been filled with tests and tortures. Falling in love with a mind, finding a soulmate. You might be surprised - everything is arousal in this situation. We cannot keep our hands off each other and even when it isn't rolling in the hay we are sitting next to each other, touching and talking, walking next to each other, entwined.

Pandora, i agree with you. I think the longer you go without personal interaction with a partner and just rely on visual input, you tend to enforce empty ideals about sex and relationships. Its not about a nice butt or how well hung someone is, but how someone really is. Humour, attitude and a cornucopia of other little imperfections are the things that lead to love (i will not deny a nice butt is good too). Not understanding this is doing, not just other people but yourself,a real disservice. Its totally self limiting and unrealistic.

I dont want to offend you Obliguhl but your statement about walking down the street looking straight ahead making you look cool is complete balderdash IMO. I think its far better to walk down the street and look folks in the eye, and if you like the cut of someones jib give em a little smile. If they smile back you could be in! If you pass by and look back and they do the same, you are definitly in, go after em like a rat up a drainpipe, what have you got to lose? Sorry I"m coming over all Barbera Cartland, i"ll shutup.

With age ... comes Wisdom, Barbara

I've pondered this too- that sex without love is really just another form of masturbation. If you aren't really connecting with that person, you might as well just be rubbing one off.

I'm glad I'm able to find the divine love in everyone...

You see, the thing is, i resonate with the issues brought up here from when i was younger and maybe i am becoming old leading me to believe that you only have a limited time on this planet (but i am flexible on this). But, as time runs out, you just gotta pull your finger out, go WTF and go out and go for gold. Perhaps i"ll meet someone and have a carcrash of a relationship, but hell its life, it happens like that sometimes. Given the choice of a relationship that dont last and goes horribly wrong, but also having human interactive experiences to live and learn by, or cracking one off to internet porn. Its a no brainer. I think i maybe rambling and going back into Barbera land, this time i really will shutup.

I think you 'll find few people who would prefer masturbation to loveless sex....

Sure love+sex is the epitome, but cmon, if loveless sex is really as masturbation there would be no future in prostitution , alcohol and clubbing. Just-sex is, after all a god introduction to what might evolve to a love relationship.

Loveless sex has all this flesh-grabbing quality that even the most advanced masturbator or even a gravel-puncher cannot just ignore.