I love you Pandora........

Don't give up hope, and don't necessarily take what the doctors say as gospel.........

After all, they are mere mortals............they try their best, but they certainly don't fully understand everything!

I believe that many of us, that are part of such an incredible community, know better, than to take everything that is told to us, as something to blindly accept as fact!

Hang in there........

Observer

Pandora,

I'm so sorry I didn't post in this thread sooner. Life has been crazy, but you and Nemo have consistently been in my thoughts and prayers since I saw your original post.

You are an amazing and loving person, and Nemo is lucky to have such a caring warrior by his side.

Others have already posted in a more eloquent manner than I would ever be capable of, so please just know that I am sending you and Nemo all the healing vibes I can.

Much peace, love and light to both of you.

Well, here's the latest updates:

He has undifferentiated T1 squamous cell carcinoma. The tonsils are out and they took four big punch biopsies (four more) from the lymph node and will test for Epstein-Barr virus. The good news is it looks like 5 year survival rates for this is 95%+. Some of the bad news is that if things remain undifferentiated, they will have to give a big dose of spread out (rather than tightly aimed) radiation. He will have to shave with an electric, will loose his salivary glands, sense of taste, etc.

Additional really bad news is they found severe bullous emphysema, which without surgery has about a 50% survival rate for 4 years. . Only good thing here is emphysema is different for each patient, so Nemo will most likely not be like the typical Stage III

No doubt this is lifestyle related. We cannot stress enough to anyone here who smokes tobacco that the sooner you quit, the longer and healthier you will live.

My husband is down to 4 or less cigs a day and will be completely quit soon if all goes well. He's quitting smoking pot too. It will be edibles or nothing . . . .


Meanwhile, one of his last remaining friends from the 1960's lost her husband of 30 years to suicide. I believe it was Uncle Knucles who said suicide leaves a shitstorm of rippling mess and confusion behind it and once again we find that to be utterly true. No note, no signs other than depression, . . . . Please, please, please talk to people if you are hurting, seek counseling and/or medical intervention if you are having thoughts of doing yourself harm. People who kill themselves - their pain is over. The survivors' pain has JUST begun.

Thanks again everyone for all the love and support. We're gonna need more as the challenges continue. I'm going to update this, just so you know what can happen later in life if you let the tobacco habit get the better of you.

And for those of you who enjoy being young and think little of those of us who are older let me just say that the time passes faster than we ever thought it could, that like many of you we never expected to live to 25 much less 45, that we still FEEL precisely like we did (or at least very similar) when we were your age - our bodies are aging but it's the same old us inside; and finally, remember who's shoulders you stand on, okay?

Peace & Love,
Pandora

Pandora, best vibes and wishes towards both of you, and I hope you both find all the strength you need for whatever comes.

Your comments on suicide are spot on, I still deal with issues from the suicides of multiple friends over 30 years ago. In most cases it is a permanent solution to temporary problems, and it does leave a tremendous amount of pain behind for everyone who is still alive.

Most of us get 70-80 years or so if lucky, and it is amazing how fast it flies by. Grab onto the good stuff as much as you can folks. None of us know for sure what comes next, but a human lifetime is the blink of an eye in the grand scheme of things, over almost as soon as it starts.

Peace and Love.

stay strong Pandora & Nemo
<3

I'm sorry I'm writing this late in the thread, but I just wanted to express my love to both of you and my deepest gratitude to you Pandora, for posting everything you did so far. I had lots to learn from those posts. I'll be praying for strength of mind and body for you both. You'll get through this, I know you will, even though this is a hard test.

Much love,

Theres nothing that I can say that hasnt already been said. I'm sending love your way for the both of you. I hope all goes well.

"Fun is my religion." - On a pin Nemo Amicus owns.

Long live Nemo!

Hopefully this will turn out to be a Hodgkins lymphoma. These are very successfully treated nowadays. If that is the case, your husband will require an infuse-a-port placed by a general surgeon, and chemotherapy, which will make him feel poorly in the short-run, but will likely put him into remission. Possibly, it will be recommended he undergo adjuvant radiation following the chemo.

I did battle with cancer almost 6 years ago. Needed two separate surgeries, and - well - I'm still here. Hopefully in 6 years time your loved one will be able to say the same!

Much love! I'll include him in my prayers.

N.B.

Pandora

I came across this and thought this may interest you and Nemo:

Cancer-Killing Dandelion Tea

I hope this information may help you guys even if its in a small way, sending warm and healing thoughts your way. ♥


Much Peace and Compassion

Much love to you and Nemo. You still have been in my thoughts every night before I go to sleep.
Still sending positive energy your way.

Even though it seems bad, It may still work out for the best!

Love you!!

I realized I had not updated this recently.

His final diagnosis was Non-differentiated metastatic Squamous Cell Carcinoma. Squamous cells are the wet ones inside your mouth and throat.

His metastases were in his tonsils (removed via successful surgery) and lymph node (currently receiving radiation). They looked and looked for the original, root tumor, finally gave him a fine scale PET scan and still could not find it. They don't know for sure but suggest that his immune system literally ate it for lunch. I attribute it to his lifelong positivity and smoking pot.

So, no Chemotherapy, which was great news.

But, 30 days (5 days a week, 6 weeks) of hardcore radiation therapy. We are at about the 1/2 way point and it's a nightmare. Each day he's more miserable, in more pain, has more weird skin lesions on his neck that his treatment team must watch, has a worse "radiation burn" to his neck.

They put him on time released morphine sulfate but still he suffered terribly. It came to the point where he could not swallow at all today, not even keep water down. So, when he went to radiation therapy, he asked them to hydrate him via IV. They said no, irradiated him and referred him to the County Hospital where he is now, being hydrated and having a PEG (feeding tube) surgically installed. He's 6 feet and down to 120 pounds.

We've been told it will get worse before it gets better. Much worse for 4 more straight weeks, worse even after treatment is over. Until the remission starts.

Please keep Nemo Amicus in your minds, hopes, prayers, meditations, etc. This is a horrible, nightmarish time and I'm not sure what we are going to do to be able to get through the next month.

That's rough. I wish you two the best. Stay strong.

Good luck.

Unexplainable things happen everyday.

I wish my parents would quit smoking (there almost 60 now, and smoked for at least 40 of those years)

However, there suffering over tobacco has taught me a lesson!

Nemo is in my thoughts every night. You too. I like to end my days by giving out positive energy to all I care about.

Much love to you and Nemo.

my best intents to you and your husband Pandora.
I remember your reception when I registered here and felt you are a great person, keep strong.

my thoughts and attempted meditation is focused on the two of you

Thinking of you both

I know I haven't said much so far, Pandora, but I am thinking of him every day. This must be an incredibly trying time for you both.

Have you been able to get Phoenix Tears or some equivalent?

Pandora,

we have not interacted much but after reading this thread I feel a deep empathy for your difficult situation and I sincerely hope that health and healing finds you and your ailing loved one Nemo.

I must say your lack of a negative attitude here at the Nexus reflects a powerful inner strength that is highly admirable. You strike me as a true warrior.

Peace be with you at all times.