Hello great humans
(I wrote this with the help of Google Translator )
So this is it, finally after Months of roaming around on the nexus i decided to join this great community.

Let me introduce myself.
Im 23 and suffered pretty much all my life from emotional pain therefore i have depression, anxiety issues and this deep feeling of emptiness.
Currently im at the edge of personal change to the better.
I want to become healthy and happy.
I guess this year will decide if i can achieve it or i will go down (all or nothing i guess).
Well the problem is me, deep inside of me .
Im just happy that i have my good friends.
They are my last spark of life.
Ok enough of the not so happy stuff

How come that i join this site you may ask.
Well roughly 2 Months ago i got 0,5g DMT from a kind soul with the words "You deserve it"
In fact i do not have any kind of experience with psychedelics or other drugs.
Well i smoked a Joint when i was 17 but thats it.^^
I researched DMT and found a whole new universe (ayahuasca,dmt trips, the spirit molecule, the feeling of oneness, healing, happiness, all the great things you guys know about.)
I also somehow felt that its something that can show me a better way.

At this point i smoked it 1 time just to see what im getting into.
i made 500mg dmt infused mint leafs with 250mg dmt.
I smoked about 100 mg leafs in a glasbong with 3 pulls but didnt get all because i inhaled to little.
What then came i barely remember.
How can you remember this beauty in forms and colors?
Well i still know that there where these shapes and colors and someone was dancing in it, between it.
It (she) was part of these colors and patterns.
It was beautiful.
The trip lasted for 5 min and peaked at minute 3 i guess.
I know i just scratched the surface of infinity.
and i was far from breaking trough.
I plan on Breaking trough next week.
I know i cant prepare for what is to come.

I have great respect for this magic substance.

I wish that i can feel the life again and that i can be part of a better world.

I do not know what I can still write at this point
so thats it

Welcome to the Nexus SoulVoid!!

Sounds like a great experience. Just fyi. It can get VERY intense. I'm sure you know this though . I hope you future travels go well and I look forward to seeing you around the forums.

You will always be equally as free just as much as you are not. 'Tis one of the many paradoxes in the corner of our simulation. With that said, I believe it is something that should be pursued at all costs.

Welcome.

Fantastic story. Warm welcomes friend.

Welcome bro!

Wish you all the best in your path!

Thanks

I hope i can provide you with a good dmt experience in near future.

Allready love this site so much
It is so interesting and full of great stuff.
The more i read the more inspiration i get.

Last night i decided to become Vegeterian haha.
This will be hard for me

Good luck Void! It is hard. I think if you are eating replacements rather then just going for leaves you can still get those nutrients, just from different places.

Good choice though, I am sure your stomach will feel better shortly, if not better, surely different.

Wow, your story is almost the same as me. Right now I am also making a big effort to change things for the better in my life, such as going to gym 3 times a week and moving to a new room. I understand when you say the problem is deep inside of you. When you have very long periods of depression (10 years or longer) you can become completely dependent on friends and family for survival with almost no will to live out of your own spirit. When meds don't work, there's really no way to fix it, but even if it's technically not worth it, you have to try and better your life to the best of your capacity because it does pay off. People only commit suicide when they've reached their absolute limits.

@DeDao
Yeah i try my best to change my eating habits to become a true vegeterian.

@Dutchman
Im also getting back into shape trough workout and healthy stuff.
I think when we like our outside it will radiate into us and a healing process may occur.