Oh gosh, I'm really bad at intros. I have a tendency to either overdo them or sound too boring and... technical, about who I am.

You can call me Bonnie. Obviously it is not my real name - Baby Bonnie Hood is a character from the Darkstalkers game -series - but yea... you can call me that.

I'm a 28 year old girl from Sweden. I work as a 3D artist (a job I really like) and have been doing so for about 1,5 years now. I found this website while I was researching DMT, but didn't think about becomming a member until I had my first DMT experience. My history with substances goes way back. I've been curious about hallucinogens for more than half my life (started having thoughts on the subject of LSD at age 12), and I've experimented with close to 30 different substances. People always freak out when I tell them that. They simply cannot draw a line between my outer appearance and the things that come out of my mouth (people ALWAYS underestimates me ). "OH MY GOD - How can this tidy little woman be this oddjob drug addict?? or is she lying? yes she is lying!" is what I read on their faces when that happens, lol. People can be so judgemental! I'm not a drug-addict!! The only things I'm addicted to is sugar and red clothes

It started out pretty late though: alcohol at 16, LSA, cannabis and nitrous at 20 when I went to college. I had SO much free time in college that all I really did back then was play World of Warcraft far too much and experiment with various substances. They were some pretty dark 4 years of my life actually: I was unhappy with my choice of studies, I was completely alone far away from home, and I was very depressed. Not the ideal mind set for hallucinogens.

But, it was thanks to magic mushrooms that I got into another path. I realised I had to "grow up", stop playing that dreadful game and try and do something of my life. So within a year I dropped out of college, moved to a another city, started studying 3D graphics and here I am today, feeling better than I have in years!

Getting more personal: If you think I'm "odd" it's because I am. I have autism. But whatever thoughts and ideas you have about that: scrap it. I'm neither retarded nor a rainman-kind of genious. Instead my issue is with social interaction: I have huge problems with relationships - always had - and I'm very rigid about routines and my activities/interests. I don't have many friends, no BF, nothing. I simply cannot form deep relationships with other people - especially other girls. This because non-verbal communication is SO important in today's society: especially amongst women who seem to rely more on that than men. But it's also because I'm terrible at maintaining new relationships, and people eventually becomes bored with me, thinking "nah, she is never interested in hanging out, never calls me, never asks about my life. I got other people to befriend instead!".
Luckily enough I work in a business that's dominated by men (game development) so I get my share of social interaction at my work

What else? I have geeky interests: Sci-fi, Electronic music, IT, 3D and most things comming from Japan!

Last but not least! You can read about my first DMT experience here: https://www.dmt-nexus.me...aspx?g=posts&t=41869

PEACE and LOVE to all of you!

Hi, nice to hear your story and welcome to the best dmt forum!

I had the same age - 28 - all my life I was scared to death when dealing with drugs, but now....well, drugs changed my life, so what the heck. I love them.

There is no reason for me to judge you, nor you need to judge yourself, we are all one, and the "Great Spirit" help us sometimes in very unusual ways.

You know something.... this word is exactly like King Solomon said 2500 years ago. A big illusion. Tradition, costumes and the so called traditional religions are fucking up the world. We tend to block our spiritual development when we think ourselves separated from the whole universe, from "what it is".

Follow the heart, get rid of all negativity and you will fullfill your mission in this life.

Peace, Love. Hoping that you get a BF soon so you can experience something even better than psychedelics ---> psychedelics + sex !

Hello Bonnie!
I really liked your intro!
I sure understand what you are saying about people being judgemental and all.. I also had the same reactions because of my also big experiment in substances(not 30 but still) and my interest in psychedelic music and festivals and so on and on...
The thing is that who really cares? Gooood people are out there waiting for you to be their friend or girlfriend or whatever..
I dont expect my friends(and they really are), to call me to know they care..
We are anyways always connected!!
3-D section: niiice!! I, myself am a graphic designer, and id really like to know how to work with 3D stuff..
Have fun!

Welcome to the Nexus Baby Bonnie Hood







Profanity is discouraged. Check out this page. "Attitude" Thanks!

Welcome to the nexus.

Are you comfortable posting some of your work? We've got a thriving little art community here.

Welcome to the Nexus Bonnie,

It's good to see more women signing up these days I'm a girl myself and understand what you mean with not being able to befriend other women, though perhaps not for the same reason. I guess I just find it hard to connect to girls, especially when they are super girly - I never was. The interests I have are usually not shared by other girls, and yet I am always hopeful to meet ones that I can connect to.

Are you really open about your psychedelic use? When I went to the university I tried keeping my interests in that field a secret with most people. By the way, what did you initially study?

Since you have experimented with so many substances, can you say which are the ones that helped you along in personal development the most?

Hope you enjoy our stay here.
Be well

Hey thanks!
I'm afraid not as that would compromise my anonymity Google image search ruined that.


I guess I'm more open than people in general - maybe because of my anarchistic spirit
But it haven't lead to any negative experiences for me really. Actually there is this other girl at the office I've acquainted pretty well and she was the first to brought up the topic of magic mushrooms. So yeah, maybe I'm on a good track here, trying to just not give a damn what people think?!

I initially studied web design, graphical design and misc computer science.

Hmm... I guess I could:
Cannabis - the initial mind-expander
Magic mushrooms - because they let me connect with my inner child and feel like how I did back when I was a girl. They also helped me pursuit a career that I actually like.
Dextrometorphan (DXM) - helped me start facing my social problems
Methylone and MDAI - cured a depression
LSA - Helped me take the first step in the world of hallucinogens (I somewhat feared them initially)
Crack, Phentanyl, Oxycontin - showed me the darker sides of substance use and abuse. A path I luckily never went for.
DMT - Made me fully realise how often I avoid my fears, and that I need to start dealing with it.

Interesting list indeed. I find it very interesting how you list DXM as having helped you with your social problems. In real life I'm quite shy and more so I was when I was younger. I started taking DXM habitually because it helped me overcome this shyness and I actually started making friends this way... Though of course there was a high price to pay afterwards in recovering my memory, sanity and concentration.

Also intersting that LSD does not show up in your list. Have you tried it or has it simply not been very useful to you? I find it very useful in dissolving internal problems specifically addressing them in the trips, or at least getting to understand them a bit better.

Anyway, be well and happy exploring

I had three experiences with DXM.
Two of those times, I got to a plateau 1 or 2 kinda mood - My... "social energy" rose to levels I get on benzodiazepines and I made some online friends back then and learned to open myself to other people.
But one of those times I got to plateau 3 and had a bad trip with heavy, heavy nausea (never felt so much nausea before), cognitive overstimulation (felt like I was thinking up the story of three or even more parallel universes at the same time) and exhaustion, CEV's, OEV's. It was kinda interesting to have visual OEV while throwing up more than you've ever done in your life, and see the puke stains turn into interesting hallucinations... I never felt fear or panic at that time though - only exhaustion. I don't think I've ever had a moment of fear/panic with hallucinogens - except when I smoked DMT two weeks ago. And that in itself makes me a little more cautious with that substance.

Regarding LSD: I've never come across it. I would love to try it but it's simply quite rare in Sweden and I can't say I've scouted around the web as much as one might need.

Welcome through the Best of Portals...Fellow Shopper...

You have autism? I have aspergers. Guees were both on the wrong planet.I wasn't bored I found you're post really interesting and I think everyone has a sense of being "different."

On talking about psych's with people: You should probably inquire how open minded people are first such as questions like "do you think were all connected or separate?" before you tell them about psych's.

Smile,so they know we come in peace .

Yes I've been diagnosed with Asperger's disorder too (which - in case you didn't know - is an autism-spectrum disorder). Wrong planet? I feel like I'm from the wrong universe!