Exactly a week ago I went over to a friend with a bag loaded with drugs(xtc, enhanced leaf, hashish) and during the evening we shared about a gram of 1:1 enhanced leaf, sometimes mixed with nitrous oxide and both him and me ate a total of four pills over the course of the entire night. Each pill contained approximately 70mg of MDMA and were taken over the course of about 6 to 7 hours.

The night itself was great. We had wonderful experiences with the leaf and nitrous and the hashish provided a nice layer of hallucinations to the mdma. However, in the morning things got really weird. I became increasingly confused and irritated, driven by the fact that I hadn't taken a successful urination for at least 8 to 10 hours and I needed to pee badly. I managed to relieve myself of some of it while taking a hot shower(applying heat to the genital area does help a lot when unable to pee on mdma) but after that I was so confused I couldn't figure out how to get my pants buttoned up or my belt in place.

I felt very anxious, wanted to cry but couldn't, didn't know how to get home but wanted to go home badly. Eventually my friend helped me get dressed and at that point I bailed and left for home. The ride back home was very confusing as I got lost in town(didn't recognize anything) and had to make a stop to pee in a park. Eventually I managed to get home but couldn't find my jar of 5-htp, which I didn't find until 36 hours after dropping the first pill.

The rest of the week has been very disturbing. I've had a few minor suicidal thoughts(which I immediately expressed towards my closest friends to inform them I was concerned about what was going on), felt like a wreck and I've been emotional unstable ever since. I have a very bad self-image at the moment, almost a sense of self-loathing, hatred.

I've been dosing myself twice a day with tablets of 5-htp and the past two evenings I also smoked bowls of Syrian Rue seeds. The 5-htp and rue help, but they only provide a crutch and when I cease the use of either I relapse very quickly into the previously mentioned state.

In retrospect, taking those pills wasn't a smart choice. When I re-evaluate how I felt last week I wasn't in the best mental place to take mdma. However, I've never been this destroyed for so long after rolling. I'm not really sure what to do next. I haven't been myself this week, avoided a lot of social interaction and even the Nexus.

Any ideas on how to proceed?

Hi VoidTraveler,

Maybe the changa/xtc combo messed up your serotonine levels pretty badly, and now your brain needs some time to rebalance. That's just guessing, but obviously you are suffering from some negative aftereffects.

It's normal to feel depressed after MDMA, but what you describe seems pretty extreme.

I would suggest that you observe yourself, and if your situation isn't getting better in, say one week, to seek out professional help.

Try to talk a lot about what is going on, with the nexus forum, and also with one good friend at least. You need some support right now and isolating yourself won't do any good IMO.

This probably isn't the best of help, just know that my thoughts are with you. And I'm sure that other members will give you good advise.

Take care....

Sorry to read you're feeling that low, VT. As you pointed out, looks like you depleted your serotonin reserves, and that may take some days to fix. But remember - it will pass, and you will feel better.

5HTP or tryptophan will help. Also in your diet... eat nuts, chicken, legumes. Melatonin before sleep may be an aid too. Keep in mind that you produce melatonin from serotonin, so if you increase the availability of the first, less of the second will be used.

Also, try to exercise physically, get as much sunlight as you can. Both are known to help raise serotonin levels.

And of course share with us all you need... I'm sure you will feel better soon. Good vibes your way!

Was it changa or just enhanced leaf VT? Just for the record for anyone else reading this. DO NOT TAKE MAOI WITH MDMA!

It does sound like serotonin syndrome which in my experience can leave you feeling screwed in the head for a good while.

Time and rest will do the trick i'm sure. Best wishes VT

I agree with DeMenTed. Doing that can have a pretty awful outcome. Ive had a minor serotonin syndrome and it was pretty hellish for a while. Your brain will heal tho my friend you just need time to let it. Sleep, stay hydrated, and eat healthy. Those are th best things to recommend. 5-HTP will help a bit too.

You have successfully scared me out of doing molly this weekend even if I might have missed out on a threesome lol I think I will just do some acid and get hammered good luck my friend. Try not to think too deeply on the negatives . Life will get better quicker tha you think trust me.

^ he said in the OP it was 'enhanced leaf', so i'm assuming it didn't contain any MAOI

Sorry to hear this happened to you VT- whatever it is that happened..but it sounds like things will balance out and you'll recover quickly

I really limit how often I take MDMA because of the negative after effects. If I'm at a awesome show or a really special occasion, I might do it like once a year or even less.

I was thinking that but because he said he had changa in his bag i wasn't 100%

Did you test these mdma pills VT. Even a reagent test doesn't test for mdma just mdxx so who knows whats in pills

DeMenTed, VT said each pill contained 70 mg aprox of MDMA, and I bet he knows well what he's taking... MDMA is well known to produce effects like this in high enough doses or in certain combos, so I 'm not sure if it's the moment for raising unnecessary doubts, right when what he's trying to do is recover past a bad time...

I hope your mindstate improves quickly VT.

IMO, MDMA is much more likely to give lingering negative effects if you re-dose in a session. I think taking one proper dose (125-150mg, but these figures may not apply to all) is much less debilitating a few days later and the mid-week crash is less pronounced.

Of course, its wholly possible it was not MDMA in those pills.

An old tip from my raver days: Keep some kind of anti-depressant (SSRI) in your toolbox for the comedown. When the experience starts to get dull, take it. Discontinue changa/MAOI activity of course. This will significantly improve your mindset the following week.

I generally dislike anti-depressants, but for this single application it works wonders.

Yes i agree Vodsel get better soon VT!!

It's just topics like this always gets me asking questions i.e if the pills have 70mg mdma then what is the other ingredients in the pills etc but theres no point going down that road

Sounds like broad physical depletion to me. You're getting a lot of good advise here. I think the important thing is to remember that this is prinarily a physical situation, one that will resolve itself pretty quickly as long as you take it easy. Your physical situation- particularly seratonin depletion- will affect your outlook and your self image in the short term. When you find yourself ruminating on your depression or self loathing, remind yourself that this is a common side effect of your physical situation, one that will go away. You will have these negative thoughts,... Just remember where they come from, and that they will go away. Don't take them either seriously or personally.

Remember that you are blessed with a beautiful life. The dark clouds will pass before you know it.

Other than getting enough sleep, and eating good food, I always found getting some exercise helpful to balance my mood after doing MDMA. Even if you have to force yourself to get up and go for a walk, do it!

VT, I feel for you man. I'm sending you much love and support to help you in your healing process.

Though I never got quite as confused as you describe I've stopped using MDMA because it caused me very strong depressions for much too long in general. In my research for the OHT I read a lot about MDMA and the side-effects. They all seem to be temporary, so time will heal this.

Doing exercise may be a very good advice - get some endorphines flowing! Perhaps more than a walk but something that will actually get your heart racing, like going for a run or a swim where you breathe and move a lot. Perhaps follow up with a nice sauna...

Maybe eat extra healthy stuff for a while with lots of fresh fruits or whatever you feel really drawn to at the moment.
Personally I would discontinue using MJ and all psychoactives for a while to get my mind centered again, but if you feel that something is really helping, perhaps it is.

WIshing you the best, my friend. Take good care of yourself. This will pass. Until then, feel hugged.

Exercise, with lots of rest after and dense animal foods are what help me feel more balanced in general after an exhausting trip.

^^All great advise here^^

What works for me after a heavy night of Rollin is pedialyte, coconout water, exercise, and Sun.

Sorry to hear about what this.

The thing is, the endorphins and hormones depleted by MDMA can take a while to replenish. We're talking anywhere from a few days to a few months. You're emotional instability right now is caused solely by a chemical imbalance that needs time to level out. So just give it time.

Good luck, and think happy thoughts.

Been there, done this.

The 5-HTP has always worked incredibly well for me, it was the re-dosing that got you and I am sure of that.

Whenever I roll too hard or keep telling my head to dump more more more it never turns out pretty.

All you need it time, rest & good diet. Things will fall back in!

<3 ya

Mdma. Or Molly? Its becoming a dangerous drug do to all the new designer RCs being wrongly mislabled. All due to ill gain gotten dealers. I think some of these new drugs may actually decrease seratonin faster and cause higher neurotoxicity. All this is speculation though.
Regardless mdma is a potent empathogen hallucinogen and should be treated as so follow reccomend therapeutic and recreational doses. All chemicals effect people differently. I'be seen people puke from 50mg.
Anyways the fact is Mdma can lead to depression and part time psychosis in some. If you experience these symptoms especially to that degree maybe Mdma isn't for you or your neurochemistry. All will be well Don't worry I've experienced this with heavy multiple dose sessions.
It may take one person a day or two to recover but in some up to a week. So lesson to all test your drugs always be sure you know what your ingesting and start low you never know what your body may do.