I'm sick of living like this, constantly feel like I'm on the fence, not fully back into reality but not stuck in a trip either, I smoked when I was 15 years old and I regret it because I've never been the same person since, the only way to describe I feel, is that I feel like just a "mind". My body, and everything around me is just "there" and whenever I'm not kept busy or have time to think I just don't feel right and Anxiety just comes over me. This is my post from 3 years ago if it helps:

https://www.dmt-nexus.me...spx?g=posts&m=264146

I told my GP and he refered me to a psychiatrist who "specializes" in dealing with people under 18 and mental issues, and he had no idea what DMT was and pretty much tried to tell me how to "naturally" overcome Anxiety, nothing he said helped and I can't meditate because I have tried that and once again Anxiety comes over me because I'm not doing anything. If anyone has experienced the same thing or knows how to fix me, please tell me because I don't wanna live like this I'm only just 18 and this has been going on for nearly 3 years

What about engaging the services of a mental health professional and explaining your problem openly and honestly including what circumstances you believe have put you in this state? (e.g. that this started 3 years ago after a DMT experience.)

To pick this apart a bit, what is it about thinking you are " just a "mind" " that disturbs you so much?

My first instinct is to tell you to rephrase this idea. It is not that you are just a mind, but that you are so much more than 'just a body'. Same idea, different perspective.

Having your assumptions about what is real challenged so deeply can shake anyone up. Some people find it liberating, some find it distressing. Sometimes the distress can lead to liberation, but the road may not be easy.

Here are two books you may find interesting, maybe even helpful. I won't say they have The Answer for you, but they may offer some perspective.

Heaven and Hell by Aldous Huxley
http://metalmartel.altervista.org/book/1.pdf
http://www.amazon.com/Do...g-Classics/dp/1907590099

The Book: On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are by Alan Watts
http://www.leary.ru/down...ng%20Who%20You%20Are.pdf
http://www.amazon.com/Bo...nowing-Who/dp/0679723005

I'm no psychiatrist but it sounds like you're going through depersonalization/derealization. Maybe you should look it up if you haven't already. I went through a very similar situation a few years back and it took me roughly three years to fully recover.

Apart from Xanax, what helped me the most was to just be physically and socially active. Watching some good comedy also helped brightening my day. You could also try some nootropics such as Aniracetam. I didn't take it back then but for me it has had greater anxiolytic effects than any other medication I've tried.

I hope you can find a way out of this. Good luck.

First off, sorry to hear of your troubles. From all that I have read when things like this happen, it usually is not the DMT itself that is causing the issue.. but that it may be the catalyst to something else.

I don't know what your belief system is like and at this point it may not hurt regardless, but have you though about seeking the help of a Shaman? I am certain with the assistance of this community you would be able to find one without having to go deep in the jungles of the Amazon. As you mentioned, a traditional therapist may not even know where to begin and may just lead you down the wrong path (antidepressants, etc).

If you are up for it, maybe post "seeking a shaman" or something of the likes and be persistent, people here will genuinely want to help and will respond.

You will probably get advice here that may or may not be correct and do take it as only that, ADVICE. Some will probably tell you, do Ayahuasca or smoke it again or whatever, and maybe that may be your path.. but do find some professional help, be it a Shaman (yes, i consider them professionals), therapist, medical doctor or what have you. Like you said, you are too young to be carrying this with you.

I wish you luck and hope you find some direction here....

-*O*

PS i also find it interesting that your report was a rather good experience. or at least it was not a traumatic experience...?

Thanks for the replies so far guys, which book should I read first spinCycle? Also I heard alot of racetams have bad side affects but I have been interested in them for a while! Also are there actually proper Shamans in Melbourne?

Hey,
Glad you really came back after three years!

Have you looked into: http://en.wikipedia.org/...personalization_disorder ?



Perhaps this might be a starting point in your therapy. Good luck man!

psychedelics can mess with your sense of self because they can affect the region of your brain where you sense the distinction of yourself and your surroundings, that "one with everything" feeling can be nice but can cause a LOT of problems as well, not just in us but in all mammals. Mice for example when they have this no longer protect themselves from predators and often end up dead.

I think you need a hobby. Making art, or music or doing martial arts, it will help develop your sense of self in a certain way and also increase your confidence.

Sounds like you are describing "derealisation" which often comes with chronic anxiety and panic attacks. Both can be triggered by the way with MJ. especially in younger teens.I say this because your original post says you did it with MJ. I went through exactly the same thing at your age, not from DMT, but from Hashish ( same animal as bud) A synergy of THC and DMT would send me right back to that place......

The good news is, it'll eventually wear off, especially if you quit MJ.

The bad news is,you might have to take some anti-anxiety meds for a while. go see a specialist and see what options you have.

No idea, i live in the states, but I do know they are all over the world and might require a road trip or something, but just might be worth at least looking into. Again, i strongly believe it's efficacy comes down to your beliefs as well... but only you would know if such an approach fits your mindset.

If it's of interest, make a new post and see what shakes out

That is up to you. They are both short books and easy to read, you could probably read them both in only a day or two.

Heaven and Hell is a classic piece of psychedelic literature. It is more about mescaline, not about DMT, but the ideas will still relate.

The Book is a more general study of our place in life. Pretty much everything Allan Watts has written is worthwhile, plus there are a lot of his talks available on youtube and elsewhere on the internet. I just started with that one because I think it will resonate with the types of questions it seems you are dealing with.

You cannot go back in time and 'not have' this experience, so your challenge is to move forward and try to integrate it within your life. In the long run, you may find that it was a valuable experience that forced you to ask questions you might not otherwise ever have even known could be asked. You are not the first to have been there, if that is of any comfort.

It probably depends on what dosage is right for each person. I had some minor side effects at first but they completely disappeared after I just lowered my choline (Centrophenoxine) intake.

I will do that now!

I had something very similar to this going on for a time while doing psychedelics in my mid-teens. A very intense and rough lsd trip, combined with weed (which can give me anxiety at times) and a bad set/setting seemed to have been the main trigger for me...I thought i was going totally insane for a while

The biggest thing that helped was just a gradual change in my way of thinking. Reading lots of books/listening to people like alan watts comes to mind...But many things contributed to that change. it can be hard to let go of engrained thought patterns and explore new ways of looking at yourself and the cosmos with an open mind without getting sucked back into habit

Writing daily, and keeping a dream journal did wonders for my state of mind back then, and still does when i keep up with it. Turning your mind inside out often in such a way can catalyze deep work and healthy self-reflection. To be honest i originally started writing just as an attempt to maintain my sanity, and put myself back together again after being blown apart and left apart for a time

If you seek professional help, which might be a good idea, i still would engage in many other approaches in conjunction with that. My advice would be to do A LOT OF YOGA. On your own is fine but also go to a class if you can- it especially helps at the beginning. Learning it really is worth it and it can't be under emphasized IMO. I know what you mean about not being able to meditate. I still feel that way sometimes if i don't do some yoga before a sitting meditation. The movements of yoga will help reconnect your 'mind' with your body. yoga means 'union' afterall

I would also spend more time in the sun/nature, and clean up your diet if necessary. Lots of processed/junk food/drinks are the root cause of many physical and mental problems these days. If your on a lot of them now just tapper off of them slowly to make it easier on yourself (believe it or not there is physical and psychological addictions often involved). This one thing helped my mood and state of mind tremendously. I also think low doses of caapi tea or harmalas at night might help but you don't want to over do it too much

that's exactly how I feel right now, and it's the first and last psychadelic I've ever taken, but after experiencing DMT I really wish I could do it again, but I don't wanna do any more damage.

well if im gonna be honest then i have to admit for me personally psychedelics helped a lot to overcome it, but i don't really recommend that path to everyone since there is some risks involved

edit: the other thing i forgot to mention in my first post was exercise, and water. IMO post people these days seem to be dehydrated

Tackle the nutritional aspect of it my friend. Look into superfoods, and start liberally eating spirulina, chlorella, wheatgrass and barleygrass. These will bring you back down. It is crucial to resensitise your cannabinoid receptors, which is basically what goes haywire during this depersonalisation state.


This is NOT a state of the mind or soul, this is wholly a nutritional issue. Fix your diet and mineral intake, this issue will disappear by itself. More than likely DMT only precipitated what was already there and made you aware of it, it has a knack for switching on features of the body.

When you bring down the receptors to correct sensitivity, the issue will dissolve like a cloud, trust me. I have suffered from DPD for years and a shot of wheatgrass/barleygrass/spirulina/chlorella makes quick short work of it. No amount of therapy is going to put vitamins in your system, talking about feelings doesn't really give your neurons the food they need to chill the heck out. In the institutions I see many people who have been battling demons and voices for decades, drugged up to the hilt. They do plenty of therapy... But truthfully? Get them on 5g Niacin a day and they'd be out of there snappy.

I agree with what universecannon said too, all of those things will help tremendously. While this issue originates from a nutritional deficiency, it will have created many thinking patterns that need to be ironed out, so get to work doing so. I promise you, you could be right as rain in 2-3 months if you do it right. Go to Longecity.org and ask around on there, those guys are far better equipped to help you, believe me.

read/listen to some eckhart tolle, alan watts, siddhartha gautama, and lao tzu.

i think you might relate most with eckhart, though.

I'm very sorry to hear about your struggle with your DMT experience 3 years ago. For some people, taking psychedelics starts us on a lifelong psychedelic journey. We are suddenly aware of the self in such a way that life is never the same again. And yet, nobody really knows what they're getting into when they first use psychedelics. We think it will be all pink elephants and diamonds in the sky, but what we get out of it is so much more. It's something that people who have not used psychedelics will never understand.

That's not to say that all psychedelics are the same. The experience resulting from LSD, mushrooms, or ayahuasca can progress our psychedelic journey while also being incredibly beautiful and healing. By comparison, smoked DMT is usually a very harrowing experience. My recommendation is that you continue on your psychedelic journey, rather than fighting it, though not with smoked DMT. Don't let the spirit of adventure and curiosity in which you first smoked DMT die from the shock of discovery. You have only seen the tip of the iceberg, and what you are experiencing may not make sense without further discovery.

Good luck to you, and I'm very sorry that your were turned away when you first came here for help.

I can't even handle just one cone of MJ anymore without freaking out, I wish I could continue it but I mentally just cant do it, if I fixed myself I would definately try again