Dear Nexus,

Looking back, my individual trips seem connected to one progressing journey. Therefore I decided to combine all my share worthy trip reports into one topic. I will keep adding new ones here.

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Report #1: Into the light (first experience with dmt)

Preparations
Indoors at night together with a couple of friends. This was all our first dmt experience. Being misinformed about the correct dosage, we prepared dosages of 80 mg freebase dmt. Evaporating it using a round glass base pipe. Heated by a candle and connected with a tube to a water pipe. The water filled bong cools the smoke and enables you to inhale bigger inhalations at ones. Luckily we weren't good at vaping yet so we only managed to smoke around 1/2 - 3/4 of each dose. I probably inhaled around 50mg.

Observations
ssszzzzZZZZ (or probably, as the Hindus say: Ommmmmmmmmm) and came a wall of flowing fluorescent geometry. The vibration kept increasing as more DMT entered my system. The moving wall of geometry calmed down. The lines became dots. It kept getting clearer. A straight floor stretching made out of energy and black background. I found myself to be physically in a place. Felt like the place between life and death. I remember wondering if this is where we pass through when we die.

Overwhelmed as I was being a first timer I noticed something else. A small yet very brightly lit source of white light. Extremely vivid. The light clearly stood out from everything els. It was moving in an orderly fashion. Loose, detached from the flow of other stuff. Like an conscious being or intelligent machine. I have never seen anything in a psychedelic trip that was something other than a refection of my own mind. This thing on the other hand seemed like an external object, self aware, real. And coming for me! I was terrified. But like a paralyzed mouse in front of a snake, I could not move.

The light came hovering in front of me. Closer and closer. Until it was shining right in my eyes. Then magic happened. I warped into it. A tunnel. Light flowing all around me. From my sun gazing experience I understood: this is the same light as sunlight. I could feel its energy. Pure. Holding information. Something universal. My fear dissolved into love. In the middle of the white a yellow glow appeared. It transformed into an image. Fire. A huge burning flame from up close. The trip came to and end and the visuals faded. I opened my eyes. I saw the table. On it the smoking apparatus and a small candle. With a flame similar to the one i perceived with my eyes closed.

Thoughts
Interesting that we all had similar experiences. We named the mysterious place the twighlight zone. most of us saw one (or more) object(s) of hovering light(s). I remembered that you can physically feel the light radiating heat. It heats you up and leaves you feeling cold when it moves away. Like laying in a solarium and the UV light goes off. Not knowing better and having similar experiences, we thought all DMT trips were like this. At this point I thought that 'breaking through' meant going through the light into the next level.

Great report

Welcome to your birthright.

Report #2: Intrusive lights (bad trip)

Preparations
Indoors at night together with one friend. Evaporated freebase dmt using a round glass base pipe connected to a water filled bong. first 20 mg, 45 min later 30 mg, 45 min later 40 mg.

Observations
20 mg. Warm up dose. Moving geometry etc.

30 mg. I saw the light approaching. Somehow it scared me, I didn't feel good. When the trip was nearing to an end, I managed to relax and accept what was happening. I could see the light vaguely shining through the layer of geometry. At this point I wanted to see it better. But then the trip ended. I felt I was ready for a higher dose.

40 mg. Again the light. This time several. They felt aggressive. Approaching and moving fast. Coming very close. Hovering below me from side to side, just out of my line of sight, sneaky bastards. I could feel them doing something to my body. I had the sensation of being scanned. Like they were inspecting, altering or changing something. Not a nice feeling. I felt naked and exposed. Maybe like a dog in need of stitches at the vets. Not understanding what is happening to him while the vet is operating professionally without emotion and concern of the dogs feelings. It felt extremely intrusive. I really didn't like it. I began to wonder if I should stop with dmt. Accept that I can't handle it. I told my friend I had a bad trip. But didn't want to say too much, to keep the energy positive and to not effect him. He came back and strangely enough explained exactly the same experience I had! The same scary intrusive lights were with him as well. wtf.

Thoughts
How can it be that we had the same experience? Is time and place relevant? Is the DMT dimension always there around us? What are these lights? Are they natural? A universal force which plugs in (when you die) and downloads your data (memories) into the collective consciousness (god)? Sucking your soul in with it unless you train to stay intact, as the Native American Indian believe explained by Carlos Castaneda in his books? Are they what people with near death experience explain as the "tunnel of light"? Are they gatekeepers to "heaven"? Or are they a form of advanced (Alien) technology? Are they scanning devices? You get scanned, labeled, tagged and categorized. Or are they spirits? Or strange life forms living of the left overs of our energy when we die? Why do they approach you when you are on DMT? Does you body send out a signal? Is that what that buzzing sound is?

Update: Thinking of it, this experience really resembles the accounts of people claiming to be abducted by UFO's. The beam of light. Fear. Operated upon by evil aliens. Hard to recall memories. Etc. That can't be a coincidence? What if the accounts of people claiming to be abducted by aliens is the result of a pineal gland malfunction, releasing big amounts of dmt in the brain?

Report #3: First encounter with the others (meet the elves)

Preparations
Indoors at night together with a couple of friends. We used freebase dmt evaporated in a round glass base pipe connected to a water filled bong. First 20 mg as a warm up dose, 60 min later 30 mg.

Observations
30 mg. I noticed I was in the twighlight zone I was mentally preparing myself for an encounter with the intrusive lights. But this time I didn't see any. I did feel them (or something els) at my neck. Lifting, transportation me up. To somewhere els. I found myself in some sort of corridor now. It reminded me of a clip from Tool. Colorful walls consisting of never endlessly growing fractals without increasing in size. Very beautiful. Then I sensed the presents of others around me. I looked but I couldn't see anyone, just vague silhouettes. The vibe I got was that my presence made them shy. This was a big releave compared to the intrusive lights. However I didn't feel ready to have a face to face encounter with other beings yet. So I was glad I couldn't fully see them. They did nothing other than observe me. It felt positive. And motivated me to continue with dmt. The next trip in this session was a lower dosed one (due to evaporation problems). Again a colorful place, no twilightzone, no hovering lights. It felt like I passed the twilight zone hovering lights point for good.

Thoughts
Had something transported me into an other realm? All the trips that followed were nothing like the ones I had in the beginning. How is that possible? Are there different stages? And what are these silhouettes? Are they what people refer to as elves? Are they Energy life forms? Or spirits? (Our) ancestors? Why did they choose not to show themselves?

Report #4: Their gift (most beautiful experience of my life)

Preparations
I got tired trying to vape dmt in a base pipe. First of all it was not easy to do it right. You need to apply just the right amount of heat. When its not working properly you need to put a lot of effort into it, especially if you're already half way in hyperspace. I tend get a feeling of guild wasting the short amount of time you have trying to inhale smoke properly. It feels disrespectful to the dmt and I take that feeling into the trip. The other problem is that to me personally, a pure dmt experiences feels very sharp edged and in some ways a bit shallow if I may call it that. What I mean is that it has more of a science fiction feel to it, instead of a spiritual journey. I feel very naked (say: exposed). What is missing is the other side of the equation: Harmalas. If dmt is masculine (yang), then Harmalas is feminine (yang), together a perfect balance. I also always felt cold before. So I put on my very warm hooded winter coat. It was perfect.

This time I prepared a 1:1 enhanced leave mix with 50/50 Ayahuasca vine and Blue lotus leaves. I used the warm water tek to melt the dmt onto the herbs. I also bought 1 gram of pure Harmine powder for sub-lingual use. Time and place: Indoors at night together with one friend. 30 mg of Harmine taken sub-lingually. 30 minutes later 40 mg of 1:1 enhanced leave taken as a warm up dose. Smoked from a bong. 30 minutes later 60 mg of leave. 60 minutes later 80 mg of leave. The last journey was a proper breakthrough and the most meaningful and profound experience in my life so far.

Observations
80 mg of 1:1 enhanced leave. I felt physically strong and mentally ready to travel far. Smoking the 80 mg of leaf went smooth and fairly fast. There they were again, the silhouettes. This time many and moving around me in a hurry. A telepathic communication between me and them took place. They: "so you think you're ready, is that right?" Me: "Wow, well at this point I don't know what's going on anymore anyway, so whatever, I don't mind, I surrender, do your thing." They: "Hahaha, check him out, he one doesn't mind anything anymore. Oke buddy, no problemo." I felt ridiculed, in a positive, playful, innocent way. The effect of the Harmine was smoothly sedative. It took the sharp edge of everything compared to a dose of only dmt. Like a warm protective blanket wrapped around me. It felt nice to be lost, I surrendered and went with the flow. This is what happened next.

I was in a room with several doors. The silhouettes were all around me but very elegantly hiding just out of my sight. I observed the surroundings. From time to time it had the feel of an office building to it. I went through hallways. And there were large glass windows. Then I noticed that it didn't just resemble an office building, it actually was an office building. At this point the silhouettes were gone. Everything around me kept becoming more and more realistic. All of a sudden I found myself at the front door looking out. I could see the sky. I noticed it was day light and remember thinking, that weird, it should be night right now. How can it be day here? Then I saw trees, cars and police cars. The same police cars they have in my country! There was pavement, roads, other buildings. I was somewhere outside! Full reality all around me. I started smiling in mad disbelieve. What the heck is happening here?? How can this be?? I thought dmt trips take you to far away and strange places, in space, other dimensions, other realms, with strange fractals and moving geometry, none understandable content, etc. But never did I think it can take you to... reality? Was this reality?

I started philosophizing: What if this is something from the past? Someones memory? Downloaded from a master database of collective consciousness? Or what if this hasn't happened yet? Maybe my own experience in the future? The scene shifted and I saw the flow of energy out of which this "image of reality" arose. It felt like the whole experience was something I shouldn't be able to see. Like I was plugged into the wrong data by mistake. A temporarily screwup in the system. A glitch in the matrix. But this made it very special and beautiful. It reminded me of my favorite scene in the Animatrix. A girl looses her cat, looking for it she arrives at a building. A strange place full of glitches in reality. There are children playing there. Having fun by jumping impossible loops in the air and doing various other tricks. She joins them in their games. The place has a magical aura to it. Very special. The glitches showing hints of a deeper layer of reality. It was beautifully visualized and my favorite part of the movie. Something I always wished I could experience some day.

Then I realized what this was. It was a gift. I felt very, very thankful. My ego full of joy. Looking around I found myself back in the interdimensional dmt realm. I was fully surrounded by little machine like creatures, consisting of what seemed like various random parts, like Lego. They were all close to my face, like curious naughty little fish checking out divers. I radiated out my gratitude to them, thanking them for this gift. They seemed full of joy. It was a very special moment. For a while I sat there. Then I opened my eyes. Everything was spinning. The after effects of the Harmine were strong and very relaxing. All I could say was: Wow, dude, this is unbelievable. I told my friend I need some time to process what had happened before I could tell him. Then I heard the music playing in the background. It was a perfect track. Everything was perfect. I felt so good. I said that this was by far the most beautiful and profound experience of my life.

Thoughts
I don't know where to begin. So many questions. But with the limited data and a one time experience, I can't even begin to speculate. We were discussing it afterwards. In the end my friend said that this is one of those situations were its better not to be too analytical and just follow you feeling. I though that this is as far as you could go. Little did I know how wrong I was. The next session tool me even deeper in the rabbit hole.

Report #5: Fantasy world police (deeper down the rabbit hole)

Preparations
Indoors at night together with two friends. Prepared 1:1 enhanced leave with 50/50 Ayahuasca vine and Blue lotus. Took 20 mg of Harmine sub-lingually. Followed by a "warm up dose" of 40 mg of leaf smoked from a bong ones the Harmine took effect. Some time later 80 mg of leaf.

Observations
Before I took a dose 80 mg 1:1 leaf my friends wished me farewell. I joked as if going on holiday: do I have everything? My ticket, my passport with social security number? Off I went. Silhouettes greeted me, one waving. I looked at them, wanted to see them better. But they seemed camouflaged, like the alien in Predator. Light bends around them, you can only see a distortion in their outline. It's hard to explain the place I was in. So much stuff happening. It felt like being in a car wash. Every brush with an infinity of fractals to be zoomed in upon. I noticed windows (or frames) hanging in the air. In them reality with daylight. Just as my previous trip! I felt the silhouettes (I will call them spirits from now on) say: "show him that, look, you like that right? that's for you, here you go, look". As if they wanted to please me. That meant they understood my appreciation of my previous trip and that they remembered who I was.

I chose not do focus my attention on the frames of reality, but check the place out where I was. They told me everything is possible here. And were proudly showed off their skills that it was. Manifesting all sorts of things, in great hurry, it was hard to keep track. The place was like a spring of creation. I was amazed. It felt like something you could call heaven. I felt tuned into the creational abilities they had an felt I could create and see what I wanted. Amazing. I noticed someone vague next to me. I couldn't see clearly but it was as if someone was analyzing something. A document of sorts. I realized that it was the police, checking my registration, not understanding why it was not in order, wondering who I was. The vibe changed. "Oooh your in trouble now.. Jail time maybe? Ohhh poor you" I felt no danger, I would return soon. But how strange is it that this blissful place needs police? I decided to tell him I am a traveler from an other dimension. With maximum effort I "said": I'm here because I took dddmmmmttttt. I felt the police figure melt, observe me in amazement and fully welcome me.

Thoughts
When I returned I said: dammit, I knew I should have brought my passport! My friends we joking that in a world of infinite possibilities I (always, as in the previous trip) choose to see police. I wondered if it was only the police I created. As in, I was actually in a world where everything was possible and I created the police out of my last memory. Or that everything els is just as much my creation, including the spirits.

Report #6: Overload (too much to handle)

Preparations
I did this trip after the trip in Report #5. Same setting, same dose. This time I fully lay down flat. And I used a different method of lighting. Before with a flame torch, now a regular lighter to start off with. And a flame torch to clear the final parts. Actually a friend worked the lighter, I just inhaled. Starting off with a normal lighter felt like a much bigger dose. Maybe because the flame torch burned up more dmt. I also felt more tired at this point as it was getting late at night. And the sub lingual Harmine had worn off.

Observations
80 mg 1:1 leaf: I entered hyperspace. Forgot how to describe the place. But it was fairly empty. Everything went extremely fast. Like forwarding a movie at 16x speed. Much too fast to be comfortable. It felt as if I was hanging half way upside down. I wasn't grounded. My center of balance gone. My position didn't feel very comfortable. The high speed even less so. It was as if time was going fast. Too fast for my brain to handle. I tried to restore balance and control. But by forcing it, the feeling got worse. I wanted it to stop. Telepathic communication: "What's wrong? What's the matter? Please tell us? What can we do?" I was overwhelmed and felt: "I just need a break, just give me break, please stop bugging me its not helping, just need a break". They: "Tell us what is different! We will fix it" Me: "its too fast, too much, I can't handle this". Then the speed of time warped to a slower pase and a bit back up again. And then I noticed I had control over it. In retrospect, a theory is that they thought: "look, time can be adjusted, see? Here you go now, you can control it yourself, is this what you need?" It might have been a good intention, but my god is that not what I needed. I noticed I was controlling the speed of time. But that was such a strange feeling. I felt: "if I am time, then what am I?" Complete ego loss. Auch, that hurts. And because I panicked I made the time go even faster. Like someone who never drove a car before, hits the gas, because of the stiffening fear, hits it even harder without being able to let go. I felt them panic. They didn't know what to do. They felt guilty. Like children with good intentions, but shit hit the fan. I kept hanging in, upside down. Time at a speed which was over clocking my brain, trying to keep track.

Then it stopped. I tried to see what was happening. Massive tentacles surrounded me. Big bugger it was. Looked like a giant squid from up close. It was protecting me. Calming me down. Hugging me with its tentacles. It felt good. I felt save. Immediately I started feeling guilty: "Damn I shouldn't have taken that last dose, I was too tired". Giant squid creature: "It's ok, all is fine, don't worry." Me: "Man, I knew it, those last hits with the torch lighter were too much. And the Harmine effect had worn off, that to screwed me over." Creature: "All is fine, all is good, don't blame yourself". This "dialog" continued. I remember thinking, damn this thing sure has a lot of patience listening to all my complains one after the other, to my guilt trip, I like this thing, its cool." I observed it. Hard to describe. Mechanical shiny tentacles bigger in diameter than a human being. I felt how thing was radiating love straight to me. So strong, it actually had a sedative effect. It was calming me, like a mother calming her crying baby. Brilliant! Non the less, I was mentally completely exhausted from what happened before. I was laying on the couch for at least 10 minutes before I found the strength to speak again. Man, what an ride..

Thoughts
I learned some things: first I will not trip without Harmalas again. Second I will not trip if I feel tired. And third, I will not trip laying down. I will sit up straight, preferable in lotus position. Its not for nothing that you meditate like that. Laying down screwed me over. I lost track of my center. That combined with fatigue resulted in my not having enough energy to cope with the velocity of trip, downward spiral from there. This experience was a burden on my psyche and it took some time for my subconsciousness to process it. The first night I had very intense dreams. Some of them in the same fast speed as the trip. Several days later and I still woke up in the morning exhausted from intense dreams. Now I'm almost restored, but it will be some time before I feel like doing dmt again I think. But respect to the spirits for calling the gain squid creature to bust me out, it saved my ass! Peace and love.

Report #7: Realistic visions (no offense, but..)

Preparations
Indoors at night together with one friend. Prepared 1:1 enhanced leave with 50/50 Ayahuasca vine and Blue lotus. Took 20 mg of Harmine sub-lingually. Followed by 60 mg of leaf smoked from a bong ones the Harmine took effect.

Observations
While inhaling I toked too much smoke and had to cough bad. I blasted off.. The scenery morphed into realistic pictures of landscapes and streets. Everything was tainted in a brown color. I remember thinking maybe everything is brown due to my coughing.

I observed my surroundings and saw streets that looked like the streets in my country. I observed an empty living room of an unknown house. More streets and rivers were seen. I found myself thinking, what if all my trips will be like this from now on? Consisting of realistic images.. As if I'm dreaming. No abstract incomprehensible situations, ones you couldn't think up with your wildest imagination. Just dream like visions of places as if constructed out of my own memories. I felt I was ready for more.. Then it hit me: what if I was put back a level? What if the decision was made that my previous trip was too much for me to handle? As in: Ah its that one again, go easy.

I couldn't help but feeling disappointed. The effects were nearing an end. I communicated out loud in my head: I'm sorry to feel this way, everything I see is really beautiful, I adore the effort that is being put into this, thank you, it's just me, I'm sorry.

Thoughts
I decided I wasn't going to do an other hit as the feeling of disappointed lasted. It actually lasted several days. Hard to explain, more of a physical feeling than an emotional one. As if the memory of it made a big impact. Time went by and I processed what happened. Came to terms that in dmt land you can't have a will, a choice, desire, you can only accept whatever happens and just go with the flow..

Report #8: Time to extend the time

Preparations
Indoors at night together with two friends. Prepared 1:1 enhanced leave with 50/50 Ayahuasca vine and Blue lotus. Took 20 mg of Harmine sub-lingually. Followed by 60 mg of leaf smoked from a bong ones the Harmine took effect.

Observations
Blast off.. There I was, at a building construction site. Next to one of those temporary office container units. Beings around me, but impossible to look straight at them. Man, again I'm in a realistic scene, I thought. But this time I didn't mind. Thinking about being at a construction site and everything that had happened before, I thought it was pretty funny and couldn't help but laugh. You silly beings I though, you guys are crazy, lol. I loved it. Some moments later the scene changed. I found myself in an out of this world surrounding, consisting of ever moving twisting and flowing fractal like forms displayed in ultraHD resolution. Lots of white. The surrounding felt extremely sterile. Associations with a hospital arose. I felt observed. Studied. I could feel someone say to someone else: look, now it's almost over. And soon enough it was.

My second trip that evening was 70 mg. I found myself in a similar setting as the previous one. Moving geometry of sorts, and I saw others. They were communicating a message to me, very clearly: "time, too litle time". At first I didn't get it. One started pointing to his wrist. "Clock, watch, time, not enough time". As in, you are here too short. Wow. Did these being have something to show me but couldn't because the dmt effect was too short? And how the hell do they know the sign of pointing at your wrist? I'm sure they don't need watches. Or do they know we do? Or was it my brains translation of their telepathic communication? Or is it all in my mind? Anyway.. I smiled and kindly replied (I don't know if they can hear /understand me, but try anyway): "no worries, I know what to do, next time I will stay longer, I promise.."

Thoughts
So far I only smoked, but my next dmt experience will be an oral one. As promised..