Greetings Earthlings,

I want to share my story with you as I feel that I don't really have anywhere else to go with this and I have been following this site for quite some time now and I feel comfortable in sharing my experiences and asking the relevant questions that I really need help with from people like yourselves.

See, I am 28 y.o now and I have been exploring altered states of consciousness since I was about 16. I have always been blessed with being able to keep a level head and have my fun in moderation. I have experienced a lot of psychedelics(inc DMT) and all kinds of stimulants through out my journeys. I have even used Thai white heroin occasionally about 5 years ago without having too much of an issue to kick it out of my life as it was not for me. I have used cocaine very seldom and in moderation for years on end without it ever really becoming a problem in my life. This has all been fun and quite the learning curve.

Now, here's the thing.. I have always known that crystal meth is just a bad bad thing to do and a few years ago I got involved with the wrong girl, started experimenting with it for who knows what reason but I also got myself out of it after a few weeks by just making that choice. I did indeed experience a very bad period of depression after that but got through it and now a few years down the line one night at my friends house I decided it was a good idea to take a drag of his meth pipe after he went to bed and after I gave him all the hell on earth for using the dam stuff.
You know, it's like I'm fully aware of what I'm getting myself into and every part of my body kicks against it yet.. There is this force or mechanism in my mind that just goes and does the opposite anyway..

So, just for making that little booboo(probably thinking that my genius drug taking skills could handle it after all I've been through) I now find myself sitting here 3months later getting rather scared about my experience with the stuff. I have been taking meth once every week to two weeks and I'm starting to realize that I might not be able to get out of this one so easily as before. I have done some research over the net but all that stuff that they are throwing out there is scarier than hell and I do believe that I'm not that far down Darth Vader's portal just yet.

Having noticed your level of knowledge, experience and professional courtesy the question I would like to ask you guys is this: Can smoking Changa actually help to restore my brain for what I have done to it and does it have any anti-addiction abilities that could get me over and above this black hole that I have found myself in?
Regarding my dopamine receptors and it functioning properly and all that. Luckily my face hasn't deteriorated like any of those horror pictures out there but I have one amazing life here and I do not want to go down this path. So, I was hoping that you can give me the best advice I can get to get over this without having to go to rehab or severe depression that would cause to crash this beautiful life of mine which I dearly appreciate.

Like, any type of strategy you can share with me that could help me to cope with withdrawal and getting back my joys for everyday life and activities without even thinking about taking that 'excrement' if I may..

I have smoked DMT a few times before all this and I've had some amazing times doing that but my mind is in a whole different space now and I've heard that it can heal you psychologically but I'm not so sure exactly how much it can do for my stupendous and horrendous meth recovery..

I hope it's not too much of an issue for just coming down on you guys like this but I could use some anonymous and professional advice.

Best Regards,

Luke Skywalker

Sorry to hear your slipping back into it again

There have been a few reports here over the years of members quitting long-term addictions after one plunge into hyperspace..and it seems that there is lots of folks here who have used psychedelics to help overcome they're addictions

Still, something like ayahuasca or iboga, if used carefully in a productive context, are more reliable and effective tools to use for breaking addictions/withdrawal and engaging in some deep healing work than a 5 minute dmt trip. But obviously, as you know, they can be a useful tool but won't do the work for you. You have to put in the effort and make the appropriate lifestyle changes along with that


good luck to you. we're always here if you need to talk. stop by the chat sometime <3

Might want to stay away from any friends who use meth for a start, it is just not a good circle of people if meth is something you want to avoid. Avoid it all all costs including people who use it.

Get on a really clean and healthy diet and go for walks, excercise..something. Just do something. Dont take anything on a daily basis..even cannabis. Spend some time being sober and maybe trip like once ever week or 2 if you feel like you have some deeper entheogenic sort of healing to do.

I doubt just smoking DMT is going to fix your problems..you need to act on those problems. Why are you smoking meth one every week or two? What is driving you to pick up a meth pipe and smoke it when you know how you feel about it? Obviously your not that addicted to it physically if you are not smoking it every single day..so what is it that compells you to continue taking it?

If I was you I would stop using all drugs like meth, cocaine, alcohol, tobacco and even cannabis and caffine and just learn to enjoy being sober and then approach the entheogens as healing tools. It is not that cannabis is bad but people tend to fall into daily habits I find and if you jsut a weekly user of other drugs like meth etc it might reenforce that idea that once cant hurt, or that some cocaine use is fine etc..that might be true for some people but if you know you have a problem with risky drugs than best to just break that cycle now.

All the best.

Yeah I toow as addicted to that awful crap. Luckily I stopped before it messed up my looks too. Although it took 2 of my molars from me. As far as healing neaural pathways. I'm not sure about that. I'm pretty sure that takes a lot of time and learning. Which DMT can help in the learning department. Good luck to you. I hope you stay off of it. I know a lot of people who it has destroyed and its just sad. It has taken a part of me as well. DMT helped me stay off of g. I am sober nowadays evem from cigs and caffeine, but I occasionally partake in getting shitface drunk

1st of All, thank you guys for the advice and support. Just talking to people about this really helps because no one actually knows about it.

Jamie, you asked what compels me to do it? Well, to be honest.. I have always used recreational pharmaceuticals in a social and respective manner with very close friends over the years and never having any problems to share openly with anyone that would be partying with us. I have a gift for partying and my social life has always been important to me, such is my music too.

Yet, with Meth it's different. I use it completely by myself in my own discretion and don't want to do it with anyone else because I don't like the idea of being part of that in anyone elses life due to the immense destructive properties of the drug. It has also made me very unsociable and I just lock myself in my attic and work away.

See, I am a writer and a film-maker and I also suffer from ADD and I sometimes have a hard time to focus and really break through to get into writing mode and finish my work. So, I discovered that it helps me to focus on my work and gives me a great deal of productivity in order to finish my stuff which also includes serious amounts of film editing. I have sat hours on end just working nights away on meth and people love my stuff. I think this is the primary reason for me doing this. In fact, the last bag I got was to finish a script for my deadlines which I had a hard time nailing.

So, now.. All that really makes it suck even 10 times more because I hate the idea of being dependent on something to the magnitude of Meth to help me bring my mind into focusing and finishing my craft. It has not always been like this and I have gone through many stages of my life but at times like these when I'm truly surfing a life in the chaos realm it seems to have at-least that one peculiar positive side to it.

I just don't think that it's right or fair for me to sacrifice my mental and physical health in order to do so.

I have lived through many a great deal of things and experiences in my life and battled through many dark ages of naturally occurring depression and I have never been interested in seeing anyone or taking any anti-depressants because I believe that natural depression is an existential gift that's there to teach and guide us in the right directions and to make us aware of the necessary changes that we need to make in order to grow and prosper.

I think, what I need to do is get away from it all for the weekend and go spend some time with nature. I haven't done that in ages and I have always wanted to do some Aya but I can only get changa around here.

My life is very fast paced and full of survival stress and creative deadlines and I'm just scared that when I do kick this nasty smoke out of my life that I will fall into a deep depression and have an even harder time to do my work and now is not the time for me to go through something like that. Not at all.

I think maybe I should go and see a doctor or someone that can give me stuff to make it easier for me. I dunno.. It also actually feels really good getting this out like this because I have been keeping it a secret to myself all this time.

Thanks Again for your time and hearing me out..

I don't think that it can "heal" your neurological pathways; However, I think it can set you in the right direction and possibly spark self-awareness.

Addiction is a hellish thing.

Good food, exercise and time go a long way to repair this kind of thing.

Goodluck.

I know.. I just cant believe that I allowed myself to do that.. I use to play so well and now I have managed to break my own cardinal rule.. Nevertheless, I will get through this.. I've done it before and I can do it again.. This be the last time..

Listen to this!

Don't continue to say " I can't believe I did it!"

Who gives a fuck?

Stop dwelling and work your hardest day to day and do healthy things.

Addiction is started and ending every day.

Choose your path my friend.

Sometimes we can't move on until we truly forgive ourselves for what we have done. If you feel it is your fault for letting it get out of hand, you may have to let that kind of accusation go before you can get out of the habbit. At least this is my experience with bad thought-habbits and dependencies concerning non substances.

I also agree that a full psychedelic experience such as ayahuasca, mushrooms or iboga are more likely to give you a perspective on healing than vaporizing dmt, though you never know. Wishing you the best of luck.

this. I don't think the answer to drugs is more drugs.

That said, if after taking some time to heal yourself, you want to enlist the help of a healer, I would suggest San Pedro. Mushrooms can be useful too, but they will often show you scary things you don't want to see. This is a good thing, but can be VERY frightening.

Indeed. It's not a game.

I believe a large part of conquering an addiction or breaking any habitual behavior is to break the mental and physical associations of the behavior. Part of this would be jamie's advice to not hang with people who do the drug, if that is the circumstance, i.e. the social associations.

You have a problem though, in that you associate the behavior with something you love, your film work. I think that association is what needs to be broken. I would recommend taking up a new behavior, playing music, yoga, etc. and building that association by using it in conjunction with your film work.

Just as an example, let's say you decide to learn a bit of guitar. Play some at the start of, and during frequent breaks during your editing work. Learning a new skill develops neuroplasticity, literally rearranging and creating new connections in the brain. It will also offer something new to substitute for the old behavior. I think this is important, rather than just trying to not engage in the behavior, give yourself a new behavior with its own rewards.

The most important part of quitting this will be wanting to quit, so you're already at least halfway there. Best of luck.

Welcome to the Nexus, Luke. Sorry to hear you are struggling with addiction, it can be very stubborn. I have no experience with meth, but your post hit a note with my oxycodone addiction. After kicking the habit opportunities would pop up occasionally where my body seemed to win out in a battle with my wits (I knew it was a horrible idea) and I would relapse. I would tell myself it was a bad idea until I had already taken it.

Psychedelics did help me with my addiction. I kicked the habit by going completely sober (through a short in-patient rehab program and anonymous programs) for a while, which was tough initially, but I learned a lot about growth, support, sharing, etc through this experience. After some time sober I began smoking weed again, soon moving into psychedelics again. My psychedelic experiences at this point really reinforced a lot of what I had learned through battling my addiction (and brought plenty more to the surface). The dropping of expectations, or rather knowing you can adapt to anything, had a big impact on me. Also, while in an afterglow of a particularly strong DMT experience (some 2+ weeks after the fact) I recall thinking in a moment of clarity, "This is the feeling I was always chasing." I didn't feel fulfilled. I felt connected. To whatever is and may come, it was OK and I will be here. It wasn't a cure-all though. Sometimes when I see a painkiller these days I still get that urge to pop a few real quick. The urge feels much less overbearing than I recall in the past, so it does get better with time in my experience. Usually when I get the urge I play out the script in my head of how ridiculous this habit goes and get a laugh which helps me move on.
Sorry for the life-story type deal, I know meth and oxy aren't the same. I didn't want to be misleading with any of my experiences or addiction advice.


Very interesting as I am currently battling a similar beast, yet towards my decade+ long cigarette habit. I gave up smoking cigarettes, but am currently using a nicotine patch. Anyways, I had seen the same connection between my cigarette habit and zoning in on my productivity zone for thinking, writing, drawing, etc. I mentioned this connection I saw to a friend who gave up smoking some time ago and she told me that she thought the same thing, but that giving up smoking did not hurt her ability to get in the zone and be productive. We talked it out and came to the conclusion that it was likely the atmosphere we were creating was responsible for our productivity. For me, being outside, sitting alone in a mostly distraction free space where I can think. The smoking was but a replaceable aspect of the atmosphere.

While we know stimulants have a certain energetic/focusing effect to them, I don't believe my (or your) productivity was purely the result of such substances. From my researching, nicotine studies have shown results of increased attention. However, so are plenty of other things. I am currently attempting to alter my productive atmosphere and replace cigarette smoking with medititation practices. Deep breathing, sitting outside to look at the sun/moon for a few moments, smoking/vaping marijuana, walk/jog/run/exercise. So far these practices are proving successful at putting me "in the zone" and the subsequent productivity gives a sense of progression that helps to battle my urges. Granted I am still using the nicotine patch, but at a much lower mg dosage than my smoking provides. Step back from it all for a moment, put things back in perspective, and move it.

Hope this is of some help! I think DMT (and mushrooms/acid) helped me think of my life a bit (ha! Understatement) more abstractly, which is convenient for adapting to strange situations. Or vice versa? Rambling now...

Best of luck to you in your journey. I hope to see you around

Woah, I am amazed by the level of openness and input that I have received from this post. This site is so much better than Facebook. So, VIII, be sure to see me around.. I think that I have found the most suitable semi-social/educational mind expanding awareness site in the whole of the universe. I am most grateful for this.

spinCycle: "I believe a large part of conquering an addiction or breaking any habitual behavior is to break the mental and physical associations of the behavior. Part of this would be jamie's advice to not hang with people who do the drug, if that is the circumstance, i.e. the social associations.

You have a problem though, in that you associate the behavior with something you love, your film work. I think that association is what needs to be broken. I would recommend taking up a new behavior, playing music, yoga, etc. and building that association by using it in conjunction with your film work.

Just as an example, let's say you decide to learn a bit of guitar. Play some at the start of, and during frequent breaks during your editing work. Learning a new skill develops neuroplasticity, literally rearranging and creating new connections in the brain. It will also offer something new to substitute for the old behavior. I think this is important, rather than just trying to not engage in the behavior, give yourself a new behavior with its own rewards.

The most important part of quitting this will be wanting to quit, so you're already at least halfway there. Best of luck."

This is a very wise approach and I have never thought of it like that before. It makes a lot of sense. It is most probably the best and most strategic approach that I can take. See, this is the type of advice that I was looking for and I don't think I would've found it anywhere else on the web. All the other sites regarding this topic just goes on about how completely f*&$% up your gonna get and that the only way out is to book yourself into a $ 30 000 rehabilitation program, which I don't believe to be the only way at all.

See, I have never really been addicted to anything, except perhaps Nicotine, although I only smoke cigarettes when I get pissed or coked up. When I light up a smoke when I'm sober during the week my body completely rejects it for some reason, I don't enjoy it at all and end up nipping it 3 drags later. I guess I'm special in that way, haha..
But yeah, Meth is something else.. I guess they don't call it the world's most dangerous drug for nothing. What I have gathered from my experience and what I hate most is that when it has worked out of your system it physically leaves you in a zombie mode and it feels like you suddenly picked up like 30kg's or something. Like the forces of gravity has gone up by 50%. It takes days to get over that. Psychologically it poisons your interpretations of giving meaning to your external relationships and you just end up seeing everything in the most apathetic delusional way you possibly could. What's worse is that these delusions can become a reality if you don't snap out of it. I guess it's because your brain is depleted and depressed and there is no true external cause for this and then it goes and creates one. Get what I'm saying?

Talking about Neuroplasticity, do you guys know about the site www.lumosity.com/ It's like a gym for your brain created by Harvard scientists and proven to improve brain function when you follow their program. I think it would definitely be a good idea for me to start doing an hour of physical exercise and an hour of lumosity training on a daily basis. This should indeed speed up my recovery. It's so much easier said than done though, especially when your breaking bad. Anyway, I am not afraid.. It is said that life can break your mind, it can break your heart and it can break your body but it cannot break the human spirit and therefore I will let my spirit guide me through the dark times.

VIII, thank you for your awesome post and sharing your views and experience as well. I completely agree with everything that you said. I find having this conversation to be very therapeutic in manner and will continue writing with you guys.

Love and Light

The Skywalker

A sharp stick in the eye would be better than facebook.



Good luck, man. You can make it happen. Allow your life to open up, not narrow itself down.

Hey,

I think that's a great question as I've done both. Physiologically speaking healing your 'neural pathways' would happen through some form of neuro-genesis in the brain. My psychiatrist says there isn't a drug out that helps w/ that as our brain/body does it naturally like CNS production. Dr Leary however would lead me to believe that your 'neural circuits' or 'circuits of consciousness' can be restored by meditative use of LSD as his literature states, but I feel dmt works too.

Hope that helps,

Ben

you'd be better off by laying off the substances of abuse and allowing neuroplasticity to occur as normal.
B-complex vitamins, huperzine-a, hydergine, and a racetam of your choice, along with the omega fatty acids + phosphatidyl serine to facilitate some membrane growth...those would be more helpful than dmt.

I agree with Benzyme. I am a recovering opiate addict and i recently started a noopept regimen and it is helping me feel normal again.

I keep hearing a lot of praise for noopept, though I've never tried it. The fact that the molecule was synthesized with a dual amino-acid moiety to enhance bioavailability is nothing short of ingenius. Ampakines/racetams are very good alternatives to the more mainstream amphetamine derivatives. Coluracetam and Nefiracetam are a couple of newer ones, and Phenylpiracetam, Pramiracetam, Oxiracetam, and Aniracetam are the tried-and-true racetams.