I have been crying for the past few hours, and talked to a few friends, but I don't have anyone I'm really close to. I was close to my Dad, and Brother. They were both murdered in s home invasion earlier this week, I just found out today.

My mother died 5 years ago, RIP.

I'm finally all alone. 2 bodies across the country to bury, A house my dad couldn't afford from being foreclosed.

They killed them anyway.

All I ever had was my family, and now I will never have them again.

I feel like less then 1% of a man and I worry that I both going to fall into severe mental illness as well as unescapable debt.

I can't believe they are gone, in the way that they went.
Part of me tells me I need to die and bring us backtogether.

I'm going to grow cry myself to sleep now, if I'm lucky I won't wake up.

My condolences for your loss

*hugs* Grief is such a difficult teacher.

I am whole-heartedly very sorry for your loss brother. Know that you always have an extended family here for support. What do you mean by home invasion? Talk about it if it makes you feel better.

Life is but a ride. It has its ups and downs, goes round and round and ultimately, you determine where it goes. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wJ-js_NLV8

Home invasions are why I own a gun.

There's some sick, demented people out there, and I'm truly sorry you are going through this. I can't even imagine.

As far-fetched as this may sound, it will get better. But you have to accept life on it's own terms. You got dealt a shitty hand. All is not lost. You are still alive and can love and be loved.

We are all here for you if you want to talk.

My thoughts are with you.

condolences , such a difficult situation to stay strong , take care

Alert.

I'm really sorry to hear about that.

I know you're feeling awful right now, but i urge you to take things easy. As cold and calculating as this sounds, don't forget that terrible things like this have happened to people all over the world and they managed to cope with things, and find a way of moving on. Trust in things right now, that they will take care of themselves, and you will get over this in time.

I'm saying this because i know you will get over it, but it will have it's own time, and you will need to grieve. It's not gonna be easy, but you have our support as well.



I personally disagree with that, because i feel like my deceased relatives are always with me, and looking out for me. They are still there for you, but now as angels.

Take care, God bless.

This is absolutely horrible!

...no kidding, huh?

I guess noone can really grasp what you are feeling right now. But what you are feeling is normal and should be embraced. Imagine being on a tiny sailboat and the sea is stormy - what can you do but hold on to your boat? Just hold on, let the sea wash over your face, but hold on.

Often during tough situations i imagine myself as one small particle in the web of life. Stuff happens, both good and bad. And i am part of it - wether i want to be or not.

Chances are, healing will take a good while, but it can change you for the better, as weird as this might sound. It'll make you stronger, more empathic , more able to do good in this world. Sometime in the future you'll be able to say:

"Their death was not in vein"

This will be the moment, you'll realize that they continue to live inside you.

Friend, i'm wishing you all the best!

..even from this distance i (we) can feel the pain and loss of this senselessness..

alert, am also truly sorry to hear this

i think it hurts all of us that some people can commit an atrocity like this..

in such a painful and sudden attack on those who you valued so much in life, my reflections tell me that the sanctity of your life is still here and can reach out for love and support..

and loved ones live forever in the heart

heart to you, alert..
.

Im really sorry about your loss. Truly. Things will get better. I promise you that. Take time to focus on yourself, work, and various activities. That will certainly help aid in the healing process.

so sorry for your loss!

i suggest staying active- getting lots of exercise can help with the depression

stay strong Brother

Alert,

Terribly sorry about your loss.

Peace, Blessings and Love to you.

Thank you for everyone’s comments. I didn't intend to make such a ranting post here last night but I was in a really bad place and I had exhausted my avenue of people to talk to and I find I can always trust the Nexus.

I am feeling much clear headed today. Obviously I am still grieving and in shock but all those stupid suicidal comments are gone and I realize now is the time for me to man up and do what I have to do keep enjoying the few other loved ones I am blessed to have.
I am trying to keep my head together straight so I can deal with the responsibilities which are forthcoming.
+
I have to admit I was kind of nervous about posting here because I was worried this thread could somehow turn into finding out my real life identify. I hope the post is vague enough that won’t be an issue, because you guys and girls have been an awesome help and put a smile on my face this morning.

I will keep on fighting the good fight and I will stay strong to honor my families memories. An old friend from high school is trying to get off work to come out here and help me for a week or two.

Once again, thanks for listening Nexus. I had to get it off my chest and now I can start learning to live the "new normal". I feel sick saying that.

Peace

Sometimes we have to burn in terrible fire to emerge as a strong being. I'm so sorry to hear how this has effected you.

Please let us know if there is anything we can do. We love you

Such a devastating loss Alert! I feel for you

there is nothing i can say which will make it any better , just hold strong , life is a strong experience .........

I am very sorry to hear that my friend

They will live in your heart for ever.

I will pray for you and your loved once.

Sending you lots of love

<3

I hope you find strength through the bitter and rediscover the sweet.

Much love and condolences, alert. Stay strong through this unbelievable tragedy.

Also, don't forget about chat. There are many willing to lend an ear if you need to talk.

No words, just sorry. I hope that you can heal from this in the future. <3