Thank you for the welcome.
Yes, I thought about why I made that comment about LSD/Mushrooms later last night and realized that the point I was trying to get across was that I was not in it for the fun of it. That I'm a "serious" seeker, which is utter bullshit when I really think about it but I digress. (kuz I'd meditate more, etc.)
Although its been about 30 years since I've experienced either of them, what I remember disliking about them was the lack of control...
![Pleased](/forum/images/emoticons/happy.png)
I was more of an alkie/downer type of girl. You know, to calm my nerves. Ha!
Now while I still don't like giving up any semblance of the idea that I might have control, I'm a little more accepting and able to let it go.
Also, the set and setting wasn't even close to ideal... I was a goofy teenager trying to escape my life and heavy metal music made/makes me feel rather satanic-like.
As for breaking free comment, I've always been on the outside of things and still am in most ways. I'm happy to go further because none of the "normal" stuff has ever felt right. This may be ridiculous to say but I welcome the "no stone unturned" bit. I need a good butt whooping... not that I'm a masochist or anything (ok, maybe a little
![Shocked](/forum/images/emoticons/shock.png)
) but I'm not living up to my potential and I know it.
And for the "liking Ayahuasca," I don't expect that I will. I'm just looking forward to getting closer to my path.