hi there this is my firs post sorry to begin on such a low note but i would like to know if anybody else has had any similar experience to me. ok so i guess it all started spring 2011 me and group of friends had finely got our hands on some lsd from another one of our good friends,(this wasn't our first time it had just been a while 2years or so)we met up at a friends flat to meet with our friend who had the acid and take our doses me and another friend were going to be taking 5 tabs each,(seems allot but we had done this before and had the time of our lives and we where after the same kinda hit)every one else had like 3s,2s,&1s so we took our hite and headed for the beach,it was i nice spot on the grass that over looked the beach and sea couldn't have found a better place if we tried,so were sitting chatting smoking weed from a pipe 1 friend had brought waiting for our hits to kick in,about 1hour had past when the majority of the group decided to split and go to 1 of their rooms for the duration of their trip.



about 20 mins after that my fellow 5-hit friend said he needed to be sick this worried me slightly as i have never seen any one be sick because of acid before not long after that i myself begin to feel ill,just at this point our friend who gave us the LSD text us asking if we were ok and how things are going, well this just shook me up more thinking maybe he had sold us something else,(when he sold them to us he didn't seem to happy about us taking 5)but i had to shrug that kind of thinking away didn't want to wreck my good mood, the 3 of us decided to move over on the grass away from the sea because we felt like a sensory over load from the sea.we set up our cannabis leaf mat to sit and me and 1 friend sat wile 2 decided to go walk around in circles the said they felt like they need to do something i felt the same way but realised walking relay wasn't going to change tht feeling. it had been like 3 hours and still hadn't had any cev oev's yet witch was kinda weird,my 2 friends returned and we decided we needed a bucket (gravity bong) to set us on our way, we decided to go back to my friends flat/room the one who i had the 5 with,the walk back was horrible i really could use the rode's good gob we bumped into a sober friend on the way back who helped us,we got back sat down loaded the chill-um i had my bong and this is were thing started to go bad, i got my first oev on my friends door it was a mucky door and the muck transformed in to the face of what can only be described as Satan it shocked me a first but i said to my self "o no your not going down this route snap out of it!!!"at this point a had this spinning feeling in side mt y head every thing felt awful and i just wanted to get back to my flat,our other friend who we were with got a phone call of his gf saying he needs to go back home now as 1 of our fellow trippers was there trying to bite every 1 and the police were on their way,he left after a pause and then realised he realy need to go,so me and 5 friend left for myn i was still feeling horrible,on the way back we bumped into our friend who gave us the cid, who acted normal and said he would come back to my with us.




we got back sat down and then things got bad,there were already like 3 others home who i share with playing Xbox. i remember 1 asked me how the acid was and if i was tripping at this point my heart sank and realised it had been like 5 hours and all id seen was that face i just replied "yh its cool" not wanting to alarm any one,my other tripping friend seemed quiet to so i figured he felt the same as me witch was comforting, I don't remember much apart from every word and one said seemed to be aimed at me and my life in some way and when i heard it i sank deeper and deeper,until the friend who gave us the cid turned to me stood up pointed at my weed and said can i have this?? every one went silent and then i said yh ok,as he swept up my weed every one was leaving it was like they were getting sweeped up with the weed, me and a flat mate were the only ones left and then i said "im going to bed". I got into bed but their was no way i could sleep,i remember seeing this out line of a person they were like a slot machine with money going in but the money was tabs and then the words SPENT echoed in my head in this evil demonic voice,a sank deeper i could here my flat mate in the other room on mortal combat it felt like he was fighting me cant relay describe it but every time i thought about something negative he would scream out "YES GET-IN IV GOT HIM" or something like that,i remember my cats in the room were acting weird fighting but i could hear there claws and every time thew swiped i heard like a sword being sheathed i could see a trail of silver when they did as well it felt like they were after me trying to kill me,i lay there for like 2 days and in the proses weed me bed because it felt like if i weed i was weeing brain chemicals that i need and the toilet was some sort of way to get those chemicals to hell were monsters and such would feed on it (fucked up i know)any way i got up finely and felt ok and thought thank god that's over. went to the bathroom cleaned up,sat down put some Xbox on started smoking some bud. but no matter what i just couldn't play Xbox it was impossible at this point i new something was up i panicked and when back to bed hoping to sleep it off.my phone rang the next day it was my mam asking if i wanted to go for something to eat. i said yh sure she asked if i was ok and i was like yh im fine. met with her when she started to talk about her new book i was about this sado guy who locked this girl under his bed and made her sign some sort of contract it felt like she was talking about me?any way for the next 6-7month or so every thing in the world pointed at me tv talked about me, every 1 in my life was this 1 person who was just there to break me,it was horrible i thought i was in a coma or something i begged to move in with my mam never spoke to my friends it felt to me like the set the whole thing up and stole my love from me to leave me empty with nothing but this person to live with torturing me until death.




things got better after 6-7 months and i met new friends started going out and i felt like id over come this massive thing and nothing could stop me now and i could do whatever i want,til 1 day i decided that i needed to try lsd again. il keep it short i had 1 hit felt ok then the people i was with began feeding on me??? yet again i felt empty but this time i new i would be ok because if id done it before i could do it again,its 3 months in now and i just feel depressed and i have no motivation and have tured into a horrible person im scared that iv fucked up and feel like such a fool,sorry for this being so long guys im not the best at writing but hope you get the jist thanks peace <3

Your going to have to add paragraphs as no one will read a wall of text like that.

Wow man, that's heavy.

First, in the interest of following the Nexus guidelines, I need to ask you to go in and edit your story to remove references to buying acid. I know you've had a rough year but I gotta ask you to do that. Refer to your dealer as your "acquaintance" or something. Otherwise we'll have to delete this thread. No offense.

Have you read the "LSD bad trip help" thread? His story is different from yours, but there are also some parallels that you may find interesting.

Next, I'll say this first (but no doubt you'll hear this from many other Nexus members): you need a break from psychedelics... A good long one perhaps. You need to finish processing all this first.

The 5 tab trip had all the ingredients of bad set/ setting: A high dose in an uncontrolled environment, followed by doubt because of that call from the guy you got it from, and dread from watching your friend get sick. Things spiraled from there. One very common effect of a bad trip is an overwhelming sense of paranoia: the people around you are out to get you, your whole reality is set up to torture you. This is super challenging but you have to power to keep it in perspective: remind yourself that it's in your perception... Viewing reality through shit-colored glasses. Just keep reminding yourself of this.

A lot of the features in your story- the video game, the cats, your friends leaving- all this sounds like things seen through a paranoid lens. You may need to work at turning that back around. More tripping wont necessarily do that, and in fact could push you further in the wrong direction. Instead, try working on a positive and healthy lifestyle: eat well, spend time outdoors (I know, it's late Nivember, but do what you can. Take in some sunlight). Hit a few museums. Spend time alone if you can... It can be healthy. Simplify. Exercise... Breathe deeply, be thankful for the good things, including your breath.

One thing I always say in bad trip advice: there is a very high likelihood that you will be looking back at this in the future with gratitude: not for the living hell part, but for all the positive changes that came from it. Try to work on those changes.

Keep us posted!

thanks for the kind words they realy do help i like your "shit stained glasses" remark makes alot of sence haha.

iv have checked out that "LSD bad trip help" and alot of the things that were said i could relate to, and its great the amount of support you guys here gave him/her a mean who/where else can you realy talk about this stuff to,i kinda worn my family down with it all last year and i couldt put it on them again not after what i put them through last year,so iv kept it under raps,alogh they have noticed my deppresivve behavior i just put it down to work i couldnt put them through that again.

that is one good thing i supose i got out of all this a job, i couldnt let my self just mope around wating for things to change back again so i just looked for work 24/7 then one day my antie must have seen how much i realy was motervated to work and she got me one at her place

i just cant stand this empty fealing, in conversation a never know what to say im geting angry at the slightest things its just tiresom,but i do know i will beat it i still get the fealing sometimes that its forever (well in this part of existance) and im done,feels like i had my chance and i wreked it all by sucking on more cid.

its helped me a load just being able to say all this someware iv had all that to my self for a year know one realy new what i actuly whent throgh thanks for taking the time to read and i appreciate your comment.peace <3

thats why i always say " think " before rolling the dice

sure i've rolled the dice many a times yet it has its price to pay , 5 tabs is rolling the dice if you're getting the right candy , european candy is always good ,

i say a tab or two is always good enough for me if i am not ready to be playing jumanji

Staying busy and motivated is one of the best things you can do. That empty feeling will pass, but not by moping around and doing nothing. Work every day to make your reality a positive place to be. The ease of conversation will happen more and more as you grow more comfortable with your new perspective and start to relax. When you are able to really be yourself without doubting your words and actions while in social situations, that's when it will flow the most and people will find you the most likable. It's way more about relaxing into yourself than it is about having to work hard to put on some kind of stellar social performance. That fear and doubt comes from within, and with a little focus you can keep it in check.

Well i'm sorry to say, the story was interesting, but the spelling greatly put a damper on my enjoyment for it. Just a kind note

hi all just thought I would update you on how im feeling to date. things are getting better I mean I cant smoke weed because I get these bad head,neck,jaw pains which im guessing is TMJ it doesn't effect me to much but it sometimes is really annoying, the main thing that bothers me is the fact I cant feel anything??? me heart dosnt work I cant "love" any thing its really bad, I decided to take some shrooms a couple of days ago and couldn't get any kinda feeling of them just visual, I know this is down to my heart, I just wana know if any one knows what a mean I cant find anything like it on the web any ware, it happened to me the first time with the 5tabs too, got better eventually but its unbearable I mean iv got a really beautiful girl asking me out but I just cant feel any intimacy towards her and I mean how do I explain that im a cold heart lsd disaster story you know??? its realy bad. also what I have noticed, I have a really good singing voice normally but after the first bad lsd time it left me then as I got better (my heart healed) my voice retuned, now the same thing happened this time to and I measure my progress on how much easier it becomes to sing I just think its strange and kinda interesting seems my heart or brain has an impact on my ability to hold breath/sing?? any thoughts.

I tried to read your post but couldn't make it more than half way through, as the entire thing reads like one giant run-on sentence.

il sort it out later keep doing it bit by bit as when I wrote it a wsnt exactly on top of the world lol

Taking more drugs is not a good way to handle this. As others have stated, you're due for a good long break....that includes things like pot & alcohol. Not that those substances are bad, but in cases like yours they tend to compound the problem. Pay attention to your diet; what you eat has more of an effect on your mental wellbeing then a lot of people realize. It also plays a strong role in the body's ability to heal. Exercise is important as well. If haven't already, institute a work out routine....both weights & cardio. That also plays more of a role in mental wellbeing then many people realize. Finally, some deep breathing will help to calm you down. Try to practice deep breathing/mindfulness for at least 10 minutes a day. Do these things, give it time, and you will heal. It will take time though.

If you choose to ingest psychedelics again once you're feeling better remember this experience. The set & setting was an issue, but you also overshot your dosage by a lot. One of the issues with acid is the variability of the doses. They could be 20mics per dose, and they could be 100....or anywhere between. The only way if knowing for sure is you or one of your close friends laid it, and very few people are in that position. With all the RCs out, you also need to keep in mind that it could be something other then LSD on those hits, and taking too much of them can have far greater consequences then a bad trip. So, remember; safety is paramount. Sample a tab before diving into a stronger dose. You can always take more at a later date. You cannot take less after you've dosed.

We love ya. ::hug::

well that's the thing after I had fully recovered from my firs mishap I had decided {spur of the moment thing} that I would have one with my Ez I took it and that was that downward spiral to rock bottom again, and that was of 1 singular hit, lsd just mustn't be for me no more not that am fussed really plenty out there for me. it was really strange this time every thing was mucky and had flies around people would all walk like zombies that only lasted a month or so as apposed to 6/7 months off the first time probably to do with the size of the dose im guessing. and thank you for you support ( HUGZZ )

hrm

sounds like you had some 25i nbome or related compound, that can make you feel sick and throw up but can feel similar in effect to LSD.

I'm glad to hear that you're feeling at least stabilized. That emotional numbness will go away. This next part is not something you can solve with a chemical, though.

You are on a journey, not necessarily an easy one. It's not always just a simple matter of taking off the shit colored glasses and tossing them in the trash, as I'm sure you're well aware. But you do need to take some conscious control over your outlook... Constant work to keep your perspective aligned on the positive things. But the payoffs are huge.

This might sound counterintuitive, but how about focusing on your singing? You may feel that your gift of singing has been compromised, but this could actually give you some concrete leverage on your situation. Sing your heart out, don't worry about how it sounds, just try to get that feeling back. You may even need to develop a new style of vocalizing to accommodate your inner changes. But this is a good thing. Evolving creatively is a natural consequence of healing.

I cannot emphasize enough how creative work can help to integrate tough experiences. And it can be fun. It gives you a handle on the parts of yourself that need work. You can do it!

ok folk's I'm back up and on the rise again no longer depressed, although I have lost my job im glad really onece I got better and started doing more than just work it became a chore to go and got kind of tired of the same thing... any way im all happy now my jaw pain has left and i smoke a lot of weed again the weed was a big help with my depression btw the ONLY thing that helped.

i have also had a few molly/XTC binges and had a fantastic time! so will continue to do so in moderation. nothing ever came of that girl... but all in all life's good and i would like to thank you all here for you kind words and time <3 peace and all that

just looked at this my god it needs a clean up haha i clearly was not on top form when i did this . another thing i dunno if you guys have read up on mental disorders and shamanism? i recently found out about this and think maybe i experienced some thing like it. it defiantly helped me and made me care for others more and wnt to help people grow/heal i learned a great deal

No offense, HB, but I don't think you are the best candidate for helping others heal.

Your approach to LSD here was cavalier at best, and recklessly dangerous in all honesty. Here's why:

- You didn't know the strength of the tabs. You could've had 250ug, you could've had 1000ug, and there's a whole world of difference in between. From what you describe, I'd suggest that maybe you were sold 25i, not LSD. Even weak tabs (around 100ug) would've delivered a markedly different experience in my opinion.
- You didn't consider where you'd be during the trip, nor did you try to get everyone tripping with you on your level (or relax yours down to theirs). This is particularly bad form, and all but guarantees a hard time.
- You didn't appreciate the strength of the experience going into it, and had no tricks up your sleeve to bring it back should it go sideways.
- You didn't really seem to know what you wanted going into the trip. Taking 5 tabs, no matter the strength, generally implies you are going there for a reason other than the pretty lights.

With all this in mind, and your disastrous time processing the trip afterwards, I'd recommend you steer well clear from psychedelics until you smarten up, and definitely do not attempt to share what you know with other people as you may well end up causing more harm than good.

Also, a major priority, if you were to consider helping people, you need to learn to articulate yourself properly. Communication is not only key to working through your issues and those of others, but has a much, much wider impact on your life than just how you discuss psychedelic experiences. Take some time away from the drugs and spend it reading books.

I apologise for the direct tone of this post, but I don't think sugar coating my views here would do anyone any favours.

hi sorry i don't think i explained this was 3 years ago and i learned everything i need to know from that experience it was simply the best thing to happen to me. and at the same time the worst. it was almost like an organised wake up call to myself. any way i had i little break from psychedelics as i had to. but have had a few different experiences since then with no hiccups. and your entirely right all i wanted was pretty lights i have never got anything slightly meaningful from LSD its always just been for a good time for me. but yh the thought crossed my mind a few times it wasn't LSD it tasted far to strong for one thing. anyway i cant really explain what it changed in me nor could i go into detail about what i learned from the whole thing and im in a rush atm but il get back to u on this one. because i know what i want to do and tht is help people in any way i can.