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Vlad
#1 Posted : 3/15/2009 4:58:35 PM
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First this. I smoked DMT last summer. I know it was pure DMT. It came from MHRB and when I smoked it before I saw a kaleidoscope of colors which I've been told is what you see before you break through.
Took a good hit. Then.
My breath stopped and my ability to swallow stopped.
I couldn't breathe. No ability to inhale or exhale air.
I couldn't swallow. Horrible feeling. Like my lungs and throat were paralyzed.

I saw behind-above-right of me something like a yellow entity that communicated and said 'cut yourself'. I suppose some kind of sacrasm or irony on what happened to me, like, look at yourself, you can't breathe and are going to suffocate, and can't swallow... cut yourself, let blood flow.

I felt intuitively what I could do. That was look into a mirror.
I went to the bathroom and did so.
Then I felt air enter my lungs, from below, upward, and then I could breathe again.
I swear this is paranormal and I realize it sounds like bullshit but I'm telling the absolute truth.

I then got swallow gag reflexes, and after maybe 10 to 20 of those I could fully swallow once, then more, and more until it was normal again and I could swallow normally.

Then, looking at my hands and arms, I noticed like I was becoming more wiry. Like my body was more muscular and while looking at myself and feeling becoming normal I noticed myself becoming more 'normal', less muscular and more wiry again. Very strange.

Apart from that, nothing special ever happened to me on DMT.

However, during the last year, I've been 'harassed' by electronic-digital, like drawn out of electric light appearing entities, beings, intelligences (especially intelligent), or whatever. They called themselves electronic jews, communicate in a sort of telepathy, and seemed bent on controlling me. Nobody to talk about it, nobody believes it, in fact I got put into a psychiatric ward, and released. Though Risperdal fucked me up and changed nothing about the electronic jews (only seems to have made it worse in fact). Told the doc about my breath halting on DMT, and no reaction.

These electric beings seem to be specialists in mind control. When I smoked DMT again after having the breath halted experience, I noticed these beings again, and how they control my mind. I can't seem to get rid of them and it goes beyond simply being psychotic/having a psychosis. They fuck with my free will and emotions and feelings. With EVERYTHING. Like they know my body and brain light years beyond what science knows. And the worst is I haven't lost my free will. I always feel, or they let me feel what is 'right', and what is 'wrong', and I can always 'choose' though choosing what is right usually ends up with me having to follow some kind of intuition. It's very subtle, so subtle as remembering a dream. But I feel it. And these beings are masters of these feelings/energies it seems. They call themselves electronic jews.
Give you an example of their humour. One day I was lying on my bed wondering what is going on with my head/brain/whatever. Thinking in concepts not in words. Then at once I hear a voice in their flavour of talking, saying 'kaput!'. Funny in a kind of way but still...

When I feel under their control I feel like there is an ectoplasmic energy over my chest, controlling my breath and feelings and nerves.

Know what? I got tested by a neurologist. No brain damage. Where do these electronic jews come from? Not just them, but other electric beings too.
 

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appelseen
#2 Posted : 3/15/2009 5:09:00 PM

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I think in your place I would go and tell my story to a shaman who is experienced with ayahuasca.
PLEASE NOTE: Contents of this post belong to an ongoing hypermedia performance project that spans across different media, including Internet message boards. All incidents, situations, institutions, governments and people are fictional and any similarity, without satiric intent, of characters or person s living or dead, is strictly coincidental.
 
endlessness
#3 Posted : 3/15/2009 5:27:30 PM

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sounds pretty heavy.. how often when you smoke dmt or take psychedelics do you have bad experiences?

so you say these electronic jews come to you even without taking anything, correct? How do they present themselves to you? Is it all of a sudden that they appear during some absolutely normal moment of your life (like, say, having dinner with your family or driving)?

How real do they seem when these things happen? Can you notice some kind of perceptual/emotional difference between these beings and usual consensus reality, or are they exactly as clear and obvious as everything else?

Is there anything that might be correlated to the appearance of these beings (having emotional difficulty, being tired, drinking alcohol, whatever), or is it totally random?

Since when do you have this happening to you? You mentioned 'last year', but was it from one day to the other? Was there anything significant in your life that coincided with them first appearing?

(sorry for a lot of questions but to get a more accurate view of the situation and be able to offer you some kind of opinion or suggestion, I need to know these things. Answer only if you want of course)
 
Vlad
#4 Posted : 3/15/2009 6:08:53 PM
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endlessness wrote:
sounds pretty heavy.. how often when you smoke dmt or take psychedelics do you have bad experiences?


The first bad experience last year happened when I took mushrooms. I was away from the world like a whole night and I had NO sense of math AT ALL, I couldn't count 1 + 1 and was like trying it all the time as far as I remember. That was on hawaiian psilocybes. Then all at once in the morning I came back and realized I was sitting in the sofa, and felt like an energy was moving at the base of my pelvic, and heard sounds of water dropping. I felt like I should sit down and do nothing. The energy seemed to move but I had to piss and moved slightly. The energy stopped moving, then I saw a triangle with an eye in it communicating to me, telling me I made a mistake and knew I did. It offered me to re-heat the energy through magic, and that involved heat from a lighter or something (don't remember, was last june or may). I don't know if it worked, but then I did piss, and when I did, which I felt was a thing not to do, I felt like a whole mass of broth/liquid disconnected from my body and expanded into the room/ether. My body felt like it was expanding, literally felt like that, and I saw images of these triangles with open mouths and fangs ready to devour, and felt a dinosaur/'crunch' theme. The strange thing is when I went upstairs lie on my bed, the watery substance felt like coming through the wall from below, and I again felt my body expanding on the bed. It's like something disconnected in something not physical.
This could all be in my mind of course but that again leads to the discussion on what is real and what not. I'm just describing how I felt it.

Quote:
so you say these electronic jews come to you even without taking anything, correct? How do they present themselves to you? Is it all of a sudden that they appear during some absolutely normal moment of your life (like, say, having dinner with your family or driving)?


Usually they appear when my breath gasps for air. I've had this and I believe it's brain damage from Risperdal, since I didn't have it before they injected me with it. It's like my breath gasps for air after being put under water for a while. Or after I tried to take a breath and my breath just doesn't connect, like a 'loss' of breath. Then I see images like drawn by a computer, literally, of old men in white and blue, with a grin on their face. When I think/wonder about something like 'not again' for example, sometimes they say things in my mind like 'nooo?', taunting. There is real super intelligence behind these 'beings.'

Quote:
How real do they seem when these things happen? Can you notice some kind of perceptual/emotional difference between these beings and usual consensus reality, or are they exactly as clear and obvious as everything else?


They seem made of electric light and AI. They are also masters of messing with my feeligns, able to make me feel feelings of dread, horror, revulsion, and when that happens usually I see them. They are not a part of reality as 'normal' obviosly, I see them in my mind, but they do not seem part of a normal trip experience. When I tripped before the flavor of the trip was different. After I noticed them, I only trip electronically.

Quote:
Is there anything that might be correlated to the appearance of these beings (having emotional difficulty, being tired, drinking alcohol, whatever), or is it totally random?


I don't drink, am rarely tired, don't have emotional difficulties, anything. The only abnormal thing I do is drink red gold, which is a drink related to monoatomic gold but I don't think it's involved. It seems to me these beings are more related to DMT hyperspace entities and somehow my brain it's defences or gates may have been penetrated or something to that extent.

Quote:
Since when do you have this happening to you? You mentioned 'last year', but was it from one day to the other? Was there anything significant in your life that coincided with them first appearing?


Yeah beginning 2007 after taking mushrooms I all at once saw a blue triangle with an eye in it. These beings seemed benign. Then I got put into a psychiatric ward, when I got out I saw other beings, all malign. It's not like I imagined them, they appear whether I think about them or not. In fact I rarely have thoughts. Whenever I think I feel like my thoughts are 'captured' or screened or something. These beings react to thought like on a trip. I suppose the mushrooms catalyzed something that made me see these beings. But afterwards after being injected with Risperdal it became worse.
One time I was so desperate that I wanted to electrocute/short-circuit myself because I figured these beings are electric, and I literally did take high voltage from the power outlet and touched both ends of the wire. The images of the beings for like a full second stopped moving, and then I figured something is not normal. The images are electric, and stopped for a moment after a short circuit. Apart from that I don't know what to make of it.

 
endlessness
#5 Posted : 3/15/2009 6:20:19 PM

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thanks for the info... one more question for now

why did people injected you risperidal if you werent seeing anything out of the ordinary before? What made you go to a psychiatric institution/
 
Vlad
#6 Posted : 3/15/2009 6:38:36 PM
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Because I had an arguement with police about the nature of reality, and when I said I believe in energies (discussion about Feng Shui and how even in Japan they orient newly built buildings along energy pathways) they forced me to go to a ward because I was talking like a psycho. Then I got forced becuase supposedly I was agressive (I had a dispute with my brother and cops came).
 
Vlad
#7 Posted : 3/15/2009 6:55:50 PM
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One day these beings, electronic jews, said something like that the 'last time' (? I don't remember that) I was under their control, that angels got me out (of their control), and said 'how are you gonna get out this time?'

I also had a dream saying there are creatures made of flesh and blood, creatures made of flame (this seems akin to what is said in the bible, that angels are like a fireflame), and creatures made from an electric spark.
 
endlessness
#8 Posted : 3/15/2009 7:05:05 PM

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that sucks...

well i guess now you know talking about energies with the police is not a good idea..

So Vlad.. Some people could talk about your condition as schizophrenia, but the truth is, people dont even know exactly what schizophrenia is, because this definition incorporates several quite distinct cases, so labelling wont do much good...

You said yourself that different kinds of antipsychotic medications made your condition worse.. thats something to note. The other thing to note is that you must understand no matter how real these things may seem to you, for the majority of the people it will sound like crazy, so its likely if you discuss with the average people (doctors, cops, neighbours, whatever), they may have you going again to the psychiatric hospital. Feel free to discuss here in this forum, though, it may help you feeling more relaxed about it.

I would suggest a multi-directional approach here (and remember this is just my view.. feel free to be critical about it). First of all, stop taking psychedelics. Whether this is schizophrenia or some spiritual crisis, psychedelics might open up some more doors, while you are having trouble closing some other doors in the first place, so better deal with what you already have on your hands than bring more into it.

Some sort of meditation/holistic approach to it might be of some use. Try to check into meditation, acupuncture, yoga and so on. Without getting into the 'scientific' merit of the whole thing, these sort of techniques can help one becoming calmer, more in control of subtle things and so on.

Exercise and eat good! This is very important. Becoming healthy helps establishing a certain balance of the whole body/mind/spirit system, giving you a good base to deal with your problems. Something where you can sweat and get your mind off these things for a moment is great in many ways, it makes one more relaxed, the sweat cleans the body of toxin, natural pleasure substances are released in the brain from exercise, plus as mentioned its healthy.

You said the voices/beings talk to yourself and sometimes tell you to do things. Before you do anything they tell you, maybe one thing you can do is write in a paper the different options you have, and try to think of the consequences each choice would have for you and for others.

Remember that even if it all seems very real in the 'spirit world', you are alive and into your body for a reason. God knows what comes after, so all you can do is try to be the best you can right now. So for example if they tell you something like 'go cut yourself or someone, and we give you gifts when you die' or whatever, you must be critical about it, remember the direct impact this will have on you or other people, the suffering it will cause. Remember as even terrence mckenna said, 'just because they are dead doesnt mean they are smart' haha.. Or in other words, always try to bring it back to your daily reality and how you can make it better, and dont just trust, believe or follow what you hear just because a spirit or whatever told you.

One more thing that can help, is travelling. Get away from your usual routines, go somewhere different, meet different people, see new things! This can also help a lot!

and you can also try to correspond with doctors that are open minded about spiritual subjects and psychedelics, such as Charles Grob, Rick Strassman, etc...

hope that helps
 
Vlad
#9 Posted : 3/15/2009 7:18:32 PM
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It's pretty much over now or I wouldn't be talkign about it, since these beings seemed to control my free will and intentions especially, trying to keep me within boundaries of what I should and shouldn't do.
I still have it in my dreams though.
Writing down and talking is one thing these beings wanted to control. I usually felt a sensation like having to be silent, not talk. And when I think, in order to write, they projected energies/feelings into me to stop doing whatever I was doing.

Most people don't understand this I agree.
 
Phlux-
#10 Posted : 3/15/2009 7:20:13 PM

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sounds like quite a serious situation - how much do u feel that you are 100% fine other than this - if u do feel emotionally stable etc then i think this is something u need to deal with in the correct way - the best way would be to find a shaman but thats not easy, how do u know which culture or type to go to and how do u know their intentions and power. in the end its something that is going to have to be healed by yourself - nobody can fix it for u. guidance would be good and im sure anyone here with a lot of experience in this direction will be happy to help you out. Its preddy sad how these days just by discussing things that dont seem to fit in 100% with how we are supposed to think can cause one to be viewed as crazy, etc...
Perhaps the best thing to do is to take yourself back to when this first occured and try to figure out what circumstances caused it.
Also stay away from all psychoactive substances and remember - healing anything takes time.
antrocles wrote:
...purity of intent....purity of execution....purity of experience...

...unlike the "blind leading the blind". we are more akin to a group of blind-from-birth people who have all simultaneously been given the gift of sight but have no words or mental processing capabilites to work with this new "gift".

IT IS ONLY TO THE EXTENT THAT WE ARE WILLING TO EXPOSE OURSELVES OVER AND OVER AGAIN TO ANNIHILATION THAT WE DISCOVER THAT PART OF OURSELVES THAT IS INDESTRUCTIBLE.


Quote:
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He who packs ur capsules - controls your destiny.

 
DarkShaman
#11 Posted : 3/15/2009 8:31:47 PM

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Perhaps taking psychedelics isn't a good idea for you. Or perhaps just not at this point in your life. . .
 
Jorkest
#12 Posted : 3/15/2009 8:56:46 PM

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personally i would stay away from monoatomic gold..ive heard some interesting rumors about this substance..when i read that you were taking it i felt a red flag shoot up..and get yourself a pair of Moqui Marbles..or Shaman Stones..(they are the same thing) they help protect you while journeying...

Moqui Marbles

I carry two with me just about all the time..they calm me down and if you are sensitive to energies...these will help protect you..

also see if you can get some Kyanite..kyanite can protect you from negative energies..wear it close to your heart and throat..kyanite is also used in electrical insulators(SWIM found this out after reading the wikipedia on it just now)

also as you see..kyanite effects the throat area...and seeing as how you have that gagging reflex..seems to be part of a throat issue

kyanite

Quote:
Kyanite is a gemstone that does not accumulate negative energies, and it therefore never need to be cleansed or cleared. As the energy of kyanite is all but unlimited, it is said to be one of the best gemstones for use as an attunement stone.

Kyanite is known to induce tranquility and calm, as well as enhancing communication and psychic awareness, as well it eases, enhances and supports mediation efforts.

It is an ideal stone for wearing around the neck , as it has beneficial effects on the throat. It will promote the ability to speak more easily and express oneself more clearly, and will even assist in learning a new language. Anyone who is in a position where they are required to speak at great lengths would benefit from having kyanite around their neck.


Quote:
This stone is used to treat hearing disorders, eye ailments as well as issues with the sense of smell.

Kyanite is also used as a tool for mediation and relaxation. It is useful in opening the third eye chakra, and to enhance creativity, broaden perception and enhancing the reach to better understand others.

Kyanite is said to foster tranquilly, having a positive effect on ones dreams, visualization and foresightedness.


also get some palo santo wood...its a wonderfully smelling incense..but its just the smell of the burning wood...it drives away negative spirits and misfortune..

Palo Santo

Quote:
The use of Palosanto (or Palo Santo) from B. graveolens is reported to be traditional in South America, especially in Ecuador. According to the local customs, it is used against the "mala energia" (bad energy) ("Palo Santo para limpiar tu casa da la mala energia, Palo Santo para la buena suerte" or "Palo Santo to clean your house of bad energy, Palo Santo for good luck"Pleased, which may sometimes refer to clinical disease.

it's a sound
 
polytrip
#13 Posted : 3/15/2009 10:01:12 PM
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You have got to believe me when i say that these beings don't control you. The highest degree of control they can have, is letting you BELIEVE they can control you.
No-one has control over your soul, but yourself. The only way, others can control your soul is if you hand it over to them.
You could be forced to hand over control over your soul if you're lead to believe that you'd have to hand it over. Since such a 'deal' would be based on a scam, you are in your full right to demand control back over your soul. No matter what these beings told you, you can just tell them to piss of and there's nothing they can do against that.
The sovereignty of the soul is a primary principle.
 
tryptographer
#14 Posted : 3/15/2009 10:26:10 PM

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Yes Palo Santo is great, I heat it gently rather than burning it... now that you mention it: I'm putting some on! Wonderful fragrance, smell goes deep...

A perplexing thread, not much to add to the excellent recommendations already given... (except I don't really believe in healing powers of stones but who knows)

Some years ago I checked out David Hudson and his monatomic elements because of my interest in alchemy. I remember reading a report from someone who took it and apparently acquired powers way beyond control... it either really works but is out of control OR it's total bogus! Conclusion: avoid.
BTW, people seem to have died from blood poisening because Hudson injected them with non-sterile liquids.

About the gagging: I have a kind of a gag problem myself. Sometimes, when I take a nap lying on my back I suddenly sit up straight, gagging in a kind of panic suffocation reflex... it's something I picked up when I was maybe 3 years old: almost suffocated in a piece of candy that had entered the wrong hole while I was playing lying on my back.

Good luck Vlad, I hope we get to the bottom of this!


 
Phlux-
#15 Posted : 3/16/2009 7:18:56 AM

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from time to time a break from psychadelx is neccicary to look back and reflect can be a very good thing.
antrocles wrote:
...purity of intent....purity of execution....purity of experience...

...unlike the "blind leading the blind". we are more akin to a group of blind-from-birth people who have all simultaneously been given the gift of sight but have no words or mental processing capabilites to work with this new "gift".

IT IS ONLY TO THE EXTENT THAT WE ARE WILLING TO EXPOSE OURSELVES OVER AND OVER AGAIN TO ANNIHILATION THAT WE DISCOVER THAT PART OF OURSELVES THAT IS INDESTRUCTIBLE.


Quote:
โ€นJorkestโ€บ the wall is impenetrable as far as i can tell


Quote:
โ€นxtechreโ€บ cheese is great


He who packs ur capsules - controls your destiny.

 
Bill Cipher
#16 Posted : 3/16/2009 7:31:53 AM

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Okay, Vlad - This is not meant with any disrespect to you whatsoever. I can only imagine how awful it must be to walk around with such a condition, but as evidenced by some of the irresponsible and knuckleheaded advice you're getting here, clearly a DMT website is not the best place for you to be seeking counsel.

Some people are just not wired for psychedelics. If you are haunted by "electronic jews", you are clearly suffering from a chemical imbalance, and you require medical care. Don't listen to online retards sending you to shamans or suggesting magic marbles. This is dangerously stupid advice, and not likely to do anything but exacerbate your problem. Just because the anti-psychotic meds you've been prescribed haven't improved your condition, doesn't mean the right medication(s) or combination thereof doesn't exist and can't help ease your symptoms.

Honestly people (and this is only directed at a few of the above posters), this is the ugly underbelly of the entheogenic world, and the single biggest embarrassment in belonging to such a fraternity. You're not doctors. You're not scientists. You're not shamanic spirit-warriors. Don't give fucked up advice to someone with an obvious medical condition, based on nothing more than your own half-assed mystical goofdick assumptions. If half of you were told by elves that the world was flat while under the influence, you'd come back swearing it was. THIS IS A DRUG, PEOPLE. GROW THE FUCK UP. If someone is being told to harm themselves or others by beings who aren't there, the answer isn't likely to be found in further use of psychedelics... ya think??? Understand that the advice you dole out here may be taken to heart, and that it may have dire consequences.
 
Phlux-
#17 Posted : 3/16/2009 8:13:22 AM

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i totally disagree with you 100%
we have been led to beleave that western medicine can fix us - that is bullshit - they give u meds to cover up the symptoms, they dont go to the root of the problem and when it comes to things like this - not physical ailments its the worst.
Yes a normal westernised person would tell u immediately - go get ur head checked out, then u get meds and feel better - if that is what vlad feels is best then im sure he would have done it allready. A shaman or monk can help more imo. they can find the root of the ailment, they in their cultures handle the medical, spiritual and psychological health of their ppl, they have been doing this longer than doctors have been playing with synthetic medicines. they treat a person as a whole - those 3 parts at the same time - to be healthy those must be in perfect balance.
iv realised this myself over the years and the whole western doctor thing is a bunch of bullshit.
i suggested stopping psychadelix and finding someone who can really help this person - find the root of the problem - so it can be ironed out - not just have the symptoms treated with various chems that stuff with your brain. im sure im not alone on this one am i ?
antrocles wrote:
...purity of intent....purity of execution....purity of experience...

...unlike the "blind leading the blind". we are more akin to a group of blind-from-birth people who have all simultaneously been given the gift of sight but have no words or mental processing capabilites to work with this new "gift".

IT IS ONLY TO THE EXTENT THAT WE ARE WILLING TO EXPOSE OURSELVES OVER AND OVER AGAIN TO ANNIHILATION THAT WE DISCOVER THAT PART OF OURSELVES THAT IS INDESTRUCTIBLE.


Quote:
โ€นJorkestโ€บ the wall is impenetrable as far as i can tell


Quote:
โ€นxtechreโ€บ cheese is great


He who packs ur capsules - controls your destiny.

 
weissewolf
#18 Posted : 3/16/2009 8:21:54 AM
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I dont feel I can respond to this without feeling whatever advise I can give will not be damaging.
But whatever the case Id stop doing psychedelics. Or atleast with a doctor present who isnt bias about that sort of treatment. They can either help you tremendously or mess your head up even more. If these dudes dont want you too hurt yourself or other people Id just try and learn to tell them to fuck off when they bother you.
My father was labeled as schizophenic and because of him seeing and hearing things he started shooting herion since he was 14 up until the day he died. He said it was the only thing that ever helped him. LSD just made him freak out but he said he felt at peace with mescaline.
So do whatever helps buddy. Its going to be you and only you who figures out how to deal with this.
That is not dead which can eternal lie.
And with strange aeons even death may die.
 
appelseen
#19 Posted : 3/16/2009 11:43:26 AM

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It seemed to me that Vlad was saying there was no one to talk about the problem, so someone very experienced with ayahuasca would be best qualified to listen and perhaps offer some advice.

Of course good shamans are hard to find, perhaps aya forum would be a better place to ask around.

I also agree that when this sort of thing starts to happen, one needs to take a *long* break from psychedelics, and balance the attendant fringe interests with somewhat more ordinary pursuits.
PLEASE NOTE: Contents of this post belong to an ongoing hypermedia performance project that spans across different media, including Internet message boards. All incidents, situations, institutions, governments and people are fictional and any similarity, without satiric intent, of characters or person s living or dead, is strictly coincidental.
 
tryptographer
#20 Posted : 3/16/2009 1:46:02 PM

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Uncle Knucles wrote:
Don't give fucked up advice to someone with an obvious medical condition

Well, everybody seems to agree he should avoid psychedelics, that's the main message...
 
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