Im writing this from my phone i will edit later and make it better...

Anyway im typing some thoughts ive been having lately, i feel as im the only one i know except my gf who even tries to live a good life.

I mean ive had a rough couple of years but i feel really empowered nowadays, its like god has chosen to give me eternal strength and resiliance to achieve my will.

I understand that motivation is a tough thing to have and keep but its hard for me to see my loved ones not even try to feel good instead juat excusing themself for not even trying.

I know i might sound like a egomaniac with the whole god given powers and all but being someone whos been a couchlocker my whole life to a person who spends every single minute trying to be a better human being.

So yeah if iam going crazy then i dont want to be sane no more.

Yes, the road to enlightenment is meant to be lonely because it is YOUR journey.

Yet lonely you are never alone, just look around you carefully and give it some time. The Universe has a way of bringing to you the people you need. You attract what you are, not what you want

We have to learn to be alone, to know ourselves in order to understand and respect others around us. We are all the same, we are all one; so everyone around you IS you.

Hope you feel better, and if you feel lonely you can always browse the Nexus or come in the Chat.

Take care

“Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one”
― Bruce Lee

Dealing with that loneliness is not easy. The farther you go the farther you feel from everyone else. And it gets to a point where you feel so detached that it's like it flip-flops around and suddenly you feel this intense connection to everyone and everything around you.

I still have tough nights, questioning my solitude and this and that, and yeah - it's not always fun. But the best things in this life are never the easiest ones. Stay strong my friend, keep going.

God HAS chosen to give you eternal strength and that will never change. Cherish it.

Beautiful words

I think you have misunderstood me abit, im not lonely at all really, i have alot of good friends but their lack of drive makes me sad.

Alot of these people started out at a similar place as i di but im the only one thriving to become something more than a depressed nobody.

Most of the people around me basicly avoids me to some point since my succes in life seems to make them more unhappy and less motivated.


Dont get me wrong, i dont see anyone as a loser or judge people, neither am i some kind of super human or whatever, but everyday i get up and try to make my life better somehow.

Whereas the people around me just look for excuses to give up in everything they do.

alcohol and medican downers, speed etc has been getting more upper hand in my surrounding circles, whereas we 10 years ago only smoked pot and condemned people for doing heavy crap drugs like that.


No worries, ima very happy person, but ive just came to a point in life where im thinking about starting from scratch since most of my friends brings nothing but negative energy to the table.

over on my side here im feelin the same thing! although...i kindve AM one of those couchlockers/depressed/lazy people for the last few years but am coming out of it. for years id love nothing more than to smoke some pot and play video games, not that there is anything wrong with that, but i would do it fiendishly and addictively.

For the past year or two ive been becoming more active with diet/gym and running my own business, trying to motivate myself to wake up early in the mornings and get the day on and just being a happy compassionate person even when im not feeling that. However, i still have my days where i relapse back to gettin high and heading home for the day and just veg out, which to me is a negativity/depression if pursued too often.

my group of friends aren't getting into any hard drugs, but it seems like we lose motivation when we realize after school is done + debt collected there are nothing but these dead end jobs to grind everyday whats the point when all were doing is collecting our pennies to survive, no shit people want to get messed up and escape reality every now and again!

I must be one of the lucky few in this world, born in a great country, started up a business while young, beautiful girlfriend, decent genetics; nothing is wrong with me and potential to do whatever is there, caring parents, etc.

Ultimately all you can do is keep that powerful motivation going, be happy, be positive even if you are feeling the negativity of others. don't let it get you down that your friends are choosing their own paths and dont feel like you have to lecture them, dont abandon them yet dont follow into their footsteps; perhaps some of your god given strength will rub off on them or at least show your path of life is a possible option for all. people say the universe will pair you with similar people but perhaps even if it is not always enjoyable, you can subtly help your friends help themselves without ever saying a word, just live you!

Thats what I was pointing out, you are not alone or unhappy; but it is normal to feel this loneliness.

Everyone has their own separate path to follow, and you have yours - with or without them.

Shroomtroll, I can definitely relate to this feeling. Even when surrounded by those who raised me, care about me, etc. I feel like I am not among my own. That there is a fundamental difference in understanding that they cannot grasp, or worse, do not want to. Many of the people I talk to these days have a story (or three) as to why they can't be happy, why they can't get past where they are, etc. And I too catch myself feeling sorry for them or their perceived situation. But I try not to get caught up in pitying them, or helping them wallow. It impedes my growth and theirs too.

Too many people today have decided that they are borne a victim, then raise themselves up as the victim - so how else then can they live, but thinking that the entire world is against them? That they are not the problem, just everyone/everything else. "It's not my fault", they think. "I can't do better than this."

I want to shake them and scream, "WAKE UP!" Yet, unfortunately, those of us who have seen the "light outside of the cave" cannot so easily lead others to it. Even if they see it, they cannot feel it, or it isn't "real" to them. They have to lead themselves. But it can be frustrating and even painful to watch, especially if these lost ones are close to you.

Oh, Shroomtroll, thank you for sharing your thoughts here. It helps others like myself believe that I do not struggle completely alone - that others are on this journey simultaneously. Perhaps one day we should meet, on one level of existence or another

The path to 'enlightenment' is quite a challenging one, IMO. It's a commitment that takes time. A journey that must be faced with honesty.

It ain't easy, but it's rewarding. But so is 'life', and 'enlightenment'. is really about understanding about yourself and your place in this world.

Perhaps the biggest problem is analysis paralysis. There's simply too much stuff out there to get to grips with. I think the Terence McKenna u tube vids are a great start, and a funny way to become more wiser.

But in the end, just living a simple life of moderation, like Buddha spoke could be seen to be 'enlightenment' in action!

"alcohol and medican downers, speed etc has been getting more upper hand in my surrounding circles, whereas we 10 years ago only smoked pot and condemned people for doing heavy crap drugs like that."

I removed myself from those situations, and dont really find much interest in new people I meet who are in those sorts of situations. I have cut off contact with some of my best friends, becasue I just dont feel I have much to relate to them any longer.

It's never anything personal really..it is just where I am at..and where they are at I guess. I wonder about this sometimes..if that makes me a bad person? I dont really feel like it does though. I just gravitate towards where my own personal strength and power is, and it is not with them..this is just what it's like to follow the flow of life I guess.

I dont see many people on a daily basis at all..I dont hang out with many people either. Very few people are actaully my "friends". I dont see all of those people on a regular basis. Basically I dont engage is toxic relations to other people at this point. I dont blame people though, they are just where they are and this is just what they are doing to get w/e it is they are going I guess.

Im happy though. I have the best women on earth and I have a good life..I am where I need to be at to grow and learn and I am not alone..if I was all by myself without my woman to love and share life with I would probly be lonely. I dont know if a life without that kind of love is healthy..I know for me it would not be. It's a balance.

A community of people with a collective vision of true progress divorced from the constipated and self opressed society we live in would be nice, but thats just not manifest at this point. People tend to have a whole lot of hang ups. It's not really any different from people who have problems accepting that others use psychedelics, or are nudists, or gay, or strait or black or white or w/e else. There are just all kinds of tabboos out there that hold people back from being open beings.

Reminds me of an old Mckenna quote "The cost of sanity in our society is a certain level of alienation"

I strongly believe that the road to enlightenment starts with dissatisfaction.

Dissatisfaction can either be your best friend or your worst enemy depending on how you act upon it, as well as all the grey areas in-between.

I'm definitely going through a very lonely period in my life where in the beginning I just figure myself as an outcast, then I realised it's me that's been casting people out. Not in any negative sense and actually I view it as a kind act to both myself and others, as I evade awkward silences, misunderstandings of values and not hindering where I want to be in favour of finding a way of being that's in closer reach.

If you want to make it big on Broadway, you have to leave your community theater group. Some people can't realise that they can be bigger than local and also crave familiarity, even if it means doing the same Christmas nativity every year and it never even crossed their boring minds to put clown makeup on the third wise man... ya know? For kicks!

Anyway, stepping away from that metaphor now...



I think I can honestly say there's not one character currently in my life that I find to be nurturing or even understanding. Sure, there are those that I love, but I expect love and understanding in return. I see a couple of characters that are setting themselves up for a very unhappy ending because familiarity is their only comfort. I call these people 'womb-dwellers'. They can't realise if they don't create a tomorrow they must die in mediocrity, or worse! Limbo!


Anyways I think I can dumb this one down to a point where all humans beings can relate and the majority of folks would not say 'Enlightenment' but what you're talking about here is....

Growing up!

Of course I don't mean getting a better job and paying progressively larger bills for your progressive 'successful guy' lifestyle. Humans have evolved to where we are now because of a quest for mental stimulation. If you deny that urge, it will die. Use it or lose it. We've all seen it. Other than in situations where people are plain born simple, the world would be a much happier place if people just learned something new everyday, or at least refined a little of what they already know. This process would also refine the collective mass, everybody wins

In reality though, it does sadden me to see people in their 40's+ with the emotional development of an infant and my golly is there a lot of them out there

I think many of us here have gone through or are going through what you're describing. Since I was very young I have felt lonely, sitting in a crowded room, or just hanging out with friends. And that's right, it all starts with dissatisfaction. I was very dissatisfied for much of my younger years, and it drove me to seek something more.

I was much like jamie for many years as well, but have begun to become more social now. I stopped hanging out with all my old friends who were everything I didn't want to be, and spent some years in near isolation. I had my girlfriend and daughter, but not friends who I spent any time with. I just read books, learned as much as I could about what interested me, played music, and followed the path I knew I needed to follow.

Eventually you get there. Like does attract like, and the more you become the person you want to be, the more the right people will be attracted to you. It seems you're just in the process of metamorphosis into a new person, and you will inevitably leave those behind who do not want to see anything but their shadows on the cave wall

Have some comfort in places like these, that at least you can connect with some like-minded people who can understand your dissatisfaction with the world around you and the loneliness that results. Give it time, keep doing those things to make your life better, bit by bit, and you'll reach that place you want to be, surrounded by people who have also made that journey.

"You can either be a victim of the world or an adventurer in search of treasure."
Paulo Coelho
The Alchemist

Perhaps it's even more important to define what 'enlightenment' means for you? For some it could be a lifetime of searching, for others a way of understanding themselves in the world as to make the best of things.

What good is being enlightened if it doesn't help you?