This past weekend I had an interesting/unexpected experience and I'm curious to know what some of you think..
First a bit of background:
I've been drinking tea for the past week or so with between 1-3 grams of either caapi leaves or powdered root. Usually I'd rebrew a few cups of tea with the same leaves/sediment throughout the day. I started doing this for two reasons.. first because I get a little blue during the winter months and I'd like to start working with Aya this spring so I just want to familiarize myself with the caapi. Obviously I'd need doses much higher than that to really get aquainted with Aya, but it's a start right?
As for my dmt experience, I've vaped freebase maybe a dozen times and changa twice since I was introduced to it about 6 months ago. Mostly I've kept the doses fairly low, around 15-25mg. Never experienced a full break-through so far. I haven't felt the need to rush it
I usually like to start my session with a smaller dose and build up to a larger one, and usually by the time I'm ready to go larger, either my body, or the dmt, or something tells me, "that's enough for tonight, I'll be here when you're ready"
Anyway, this past weekend I was getting ready for my first dose of the evening and I measured out 20mg. Three others had gone before me and the topic of death, nde's, and dmt had just come up. Not usually what I like to meditate on before I launch... but I went with it anyway
So I take two hits and lay back to watch the pretty goings on behind my eyelids. It comes on slow and after a minute maybe, it seemed to me as if it was fading but it hadn't advanced beyond just colorful swirls so I think maybe I didn't get it all... it was dark and hard to see how much smoke I was really getting.. So I open my eyes, prop myself up and take one more hit. well, that may have been a mistake and that's where my memory get's a little jumbled... I'll give two perspectives.. from my point of view and then from my wife's.
First mine:
I lay back down for another 2 minutes (I can only guess) The swirling colors gain a new clarity and intensity. Above my it looks like dozens of multicolored spider webs linked together, and moving.. like the centers are pulling away from me or being pushed toward me. I feel my body slowly fading away until all that's left is a point of warmth on my forhead where my hood is touching
Then I'm looking at the timeline of my life stretched out against the star filled sky above me. It seemed as though I was looking at it through a telescope and if I moved the telescope to the left or right I could gaze into the past or the future.. though I think, perhaps this spooked me because it was very much unlike any of my past experiences thus far.. I think I climbed/fought back into my body and sat up. Looked around the setting as though still through a lens.. my wife was measuring out her next dose, the mini crystal skull vodka bottle machine glittering at me as if it knew a secret. I still felt like I was a million miles away. I said, "This is getting intense." Then I thought I laid back down and it felt like I fell asleep or perhaps died. blackness for a moment, then I snapped back into my body and within about a second I felt about every emotion and sensation you could think of.. joy,sadness,love,vomiting,orgasm,falling, etc and those colorful spider webs were bigger and moving faster than ever. Suddenly there was a violent shaking like the whole world shook.. I'd say about 6hz for about 1 second. Then I sat up and said something to the effect of "Whoa, that was weird". My wife was a little freaked out and asking if I was ok.
Now my wife's point of view:
I smoked my dose and laid down for a moment, then took another hit. Laid back down for about three minutes. While she was measuring out her dose, I sat up and said "This is getting intense.". Then I collapsed back onto my side, moaned, and involuntarily kicked her (she was sitting next to me). About 1 second later, before she had time to turn around, I opened my eyes and sat up, reasurring her that I was ok and asked if I threw up. I hadn't. She said I was sweating profusely and my pulse was weak.
So my best guess is that there are a few possibilities, or a combination of things...
Maybe I got a larger dose than I was expecting. The two people who went before me were new to the device we were using and possibly didn't get all the goodies from the machine during their turn...
Or the caapi tea that I had been drinking had affected my trip more than expected.
Or maybe just the suggestion of NDEs and death before my trip had preoccupied my thoughts and drastically changed it from what I was used to at that dose.
Still, why did I apparently pass out for a second, kick, and moan? I haven't seen anything like that in my experience but I'm still rather inexperienced myself. I guess I just want to know if that's unusual. That part kind of worries me a little.
Climbing back into my body was probably a mistake too but I was just expecting my pretty, mostly just visuals starter dose:-p
Maybe 20 minutes later I took another small dose... only about 10mg this time, Didn't feel quite ready to repeat the last experience just yet. I got my pretty visuals including an abacus with eyes as the beads.. and then it faded.. I was back to baseline in about 1-2 minutes.
I can say I've had a tremendous afterglow these past several days. I can tell it's fading a bit now but still very much there