Saturday, January 12th, 2013

This being my 3rd Torch/mesc experience and the deepest so far. I thought I'd write up a little report - maybe to get a little input but mostly so I have a reference point as I explore the medicine and what it has to offer going forward.

PREP: In the 24 hours before dropping I ate very little. One small burrito with some black beans and avocado the evening before and 4 bites of sushi about 2 hours before - I was feeling super weak and HAD to eat something for 12 hours of experience. 4 pieces of sushi had only 150 calories so it seemed like the winner. I pre-hydrated - drank about 1.5 gals of water in the 3 hours preceding. I did have some coffee. I did avoid cannabis until 2 hours into it. That was tough.

1:00 PM - 300mg impure acetate down the hatch in gelcaps - I pop on sunglasses and go for my come-up walk (about 2.5 miles at a super-brisk pace)

1:35 PM - Purchase very strong organic coffee and continue walk.

2:15 PM - I'm back from the walk just in time - I feel good - but I want to be alone.

2:30-2:45 PM - I feel like I must lay down. Every thing is very heavy. Waves of experience begin to wash over me. Strip - put on Jonathan Goldman's Chakra Chants - lay down . Cant' get warm

I am informed by Mescalito that I will not be taking visitors - he tells me to make it so. I text my best friend who was going to stop by about 4pm and let him know to wait to hear from me. I'm perplexed how this worked - almost like the trip stopped for 2 min while I did this, because as soon as I set the phone down… I couldn't have done it again for several hours.

At this point, keeping track of time is folly. My vision is funky - hours pass in seconds - seconds pass in hours - fuck the clock, let's go!

My cat comes in and decides to hang out. (We're super close.)

I feel the desire to eat the flesh of an animal. It starts out as wanting a burger, or steak or whatnot and escalates to the point where, if a rabbit had hopped by, I just may have grabbed it and eaten it - raw and live. I can't explain it. I eat VERY little meat and certainly don't crave it like that but I've never felt such a desire to eat flesh. Trying to get in the same headspace now would make me nauseous. I'm really trying to figure this one out. Almost like I had to recall my humanity to get back on track. An accounting, if you will, to see if I appreciated human evolution.

A voice tells me I should eat ALL of the cactus and mescaline I have prepared - Another voice shouts "NO - see where this goes!" I listen to voice #2.

I can't figure out if I'm comfortable - I decide that I will be and I am.

I do completely realize why I was advised that video screens can be an issue. The thought of watching anything on a screen almost brings visual pain by itself.

Vision is distorted/blurry but I would not say I really have any visuals. Things may appear differently, but they are still those things - not something else.

Regular lessons (teachings) come and go - all are very meaningful - but not weird or immediate like it can be with dmt or shrooms. I realize I'm used to being somewhat scared with receiving teachings during other substances' trips. Much of what's going trough my mind at this time centers around the reality of all of our infinite connection as one. I see kindness as a shareable liquid. An incorruptible key.

I realize I'm not trying hard enough - that connection is not realized without effort. That my enemies are my best friends, big reason being that they help me to be a better human being through more intense practice of good habits.

My cat Arjuna, watches over me. We bond. I understand him. We have re-affirmed familiar status.

The experience ramps down - but is still reel groovy.

4:30-5:30 PM - I move from bed to couch - SOMEHOW figure out how to operate my TV & DVD and start watching Baraka. I let my buddy know I'm back in the upper atmosphere.

6:30 PM - My best friend comes over and I proceed to smoke down. At this point I feel like I've beet tripping for 412 years. We chat, listen to some music, and watch some old B&W flicks later.

11:30 PM - Buddy leaves. I feel like I've been beaten for 1000 years with a big fluffy cloud. Worn out - but good.

12:00 AM Midnight - I head to bed - watch naayakotsi and then pop on some Carbon Based Lifeforms (VLA)

2:00AM (APPROX) - I make it to sleep.

Next voyage I plan on doubling - about 600mg (or what I figure to be the equivalent tea) I think I'm ready for something more visionary and immerssive. I have to thank several of you for your advice and input as I explore the cactus. I love you.

Is it usual for things to seeming progress is "waves"? There were times at the peak where I almost felt baseline and 5 minutes later I'd be in the center of ineffableness.

Great report! Cactus sure is a great thing. And yeah, I get the same wave type trip. I like to pretend the small waves are like the ocean, and the whole experience is like the tide rolling in and back out again.

Just keep in mind, the upper doses can be a bit uncomfortable. I never imagined I could have a bad time with cactus until my last trip. It was pretty rough, but of course it worked it's magic, I worked my intent, and everything worked out great! I think I learned the best thing to do at a high dose is just let it wash over you in quiet peace. I learned this the hard way, as I fought it, and tried to do things to feel normal.

When you say "uncomfortable" do you mean physically, mentally, or both?

Definitely both. I think the big problem was that I was not expecting such an intense time. Lesson learned, always be prepared to be blown away!

It really wasn't a big deal, but was made worse by the fact that it was my buddy's first time doing cactus and he was overwhelmed and I felt bad since I wanted us both to have a great time. After it eased off a bit, it turned into a really good trip.

mescaline can def get intense. It's not all fluffy clouds and rainbows for me once it gets visionary. It's worth it though. It's one of the top 3 or 4 entheogens I have ever worked with..for me anyway..I just learned to not underestimate it. For a while I did not think it could get really deep like mushrooms can.

Awesome trip report! Sounds like an amazing experience. I know what you mean about not so much visuals. I still haven't really figured out how to tune myself into the frequencies of the mescaline visuals.

I like your cat's name.

Yes... this is what I've been kind of getting from others' experience reports and why I've been going up a little at a time. This round was definitely more intense than before, but luckily not difficult. I definitely feel more of a "psychic medicine" factor with this plant.

I do believe that it'll become my favorite - if it hasn't already.

glad you avoided the screens

600 is a good number, youll really enjoy it

i dont find mesc or cacti to be uncomfortable minus the stomach on a few occasions

visionary doses also have yet to have any negative side effects, however some of the visions arent pleasant but theyve never intimidated me like mushrooms or aya. maybe its just because i already went through freaking out a few times, who knows


keep on!!

Whew, good explanation. It makes me curious since you said you took 300mg and could sleep that night.. I always have a hard time sleeping for almost 24 hours.. Maybe a higher dose?

EDIT: just read your question about the waves..

I think it is pretty normal. I don't notice it so much while in the ceremony but after wards I can tell more so.

It was approx 13 hours from drop to sleep. That seems to be about what it's been the other 2 times - not big doses though and to be honest - towards the end I'm smoking weed like a , well , like a pothead.