OK, so here goes......

I am in the very early stages of psychedelic experience and still very apprehensive about breaking through with DMT. To briefly outline my experiences with substances as a whole; I have been a daily weed smoker for around 12 years now but went cold turkey about two months ago, partly because I wanted to and partly because I moved to a different country and didn't know where to get it! As a teenager I found and fell in love with electronic music and began experimenting with cocaine, MDMA and ecstasy when I was out raving every weekend. Although I had friends who liked to take mushrooms and acid I never wanted to. In my mind I either wanted drugs to keep me awake all night or chill me out so I could go to sleep, I had no interest in (to quote myself) 'seeing things that weren't there.'

Around 15 months ago I left home to embark on a backpacking trip through Latin America and whilst in Guatemala, desperately trying to learn Spanish, I met the man who would change my life forever, in more ways than I would or could have imagined possible!

It was the first time I had ever met anyone with a deep knowledge and experience of psychedelics and was able to converse freely and ask questions about them.

The closer we traveled to Peru, he starting telling me more and more about Ayahuasca and revealed that his main purpose for travelling to South America was to work with it in a traditional setting.

At the centre we traveled to, after hearing everyone else at breakfast discuss the previous nights ceremonies and their experiences every morning, my curiosity was ignited and began to far surpass my fear. I was really apprehensive at first but eventually participated in three ceremonies.

I have broken through on another occasion, at the end of a party last summer, through smoking changa and it was incredible and fun.

I nearly broke through with changa again about two weeks ago, but couldn't let myself let go. I kept focusing on the real world and desperately clinging on, too scared to leave my body and the experience was nowhere near complete.

So the stage I'm at now is this: I cannot believe what I've seen!! And I cannot believe the power of my mind, and I'm super super curious to keep exploring hyperspace. BUT, when it comes to the crunch I have recently found it really difficult to let myself go all the way.

I was attracted to the nexus and wanted to join because I understand, through my boyfriend (Olympus Mon) and friends (Icehouse and Idtrvlr), that there is a huge wealth of experience and knowledge here. I think my fear is something that only I can overcome, in time, but even in the mean time I'm just keen to try and learn about entheogens and explore this world more.

Anyway, I think this has got really long now, but if you made it this far, thanks for reading!

granted he wasn't referring specifically to fear, but the message is the same.

its almost like a roller coaster. the closer in line you get to the ride itself, the more anticipation and fear you feel. you just need to sit down, strap yourself in, and enjoy the ride (easier said than done, but there is nothing else to say, only actions to do).

Welcome to the nexus!

Oh my! This is so wonderful darlin. This just made my day. Great to hear you stopped smoking the reefer sister, do yourself a favor and don't smoke it for a long time. You have such wonderful results that won't be realized for some time.
thanks for the wonderful introduction. You are such a wonderful!

I love you and miss you, I look forward to your contributions.

IH

Welcome, Clarity. You have awesome travel companions, the kind I'd like for my own. You are lucky and will have top support, so take your time, or better as we say in spanish, sin prisa pero sin pausa: no rush but no pause.

There's many things you can do without jumping all the way into the rabbit hole. It's not easy to jump for me either. And I do have my love hate relationship with the double edged sword that weed can be, and the fact you moved on from it makes me applaud you and think you'll fit awesomely in this place.

Welcome to the Nexus.

Thank you for sharing your trepidations Clarity. Sounds familiar

And thank you Parshvik Chintan, for your two beautiful quotes! Maynard realy helps. And Rumi is always wise, he much better expresses what I try to say in my signature

Hey Clarity

Wow...a trifecta of luckiness...
* You're in Peru...
* You're hanging with OM...
* You have access to the Nexus...

jealous. com

Welcome in and glad your off the weed...I stopped 20 years ago...best decision ever

ps. nice avatar...

hey Clarity , welcome to the nexus

Welcome!

welcome clarity

Parshvik Chintan - Thank you for the beautiful quotes, and I will indeed try my hardest to let go! I'll let you know how it goes.......

Ice House - I love you and miss you too, I think often about the time we spent with you and your wonderful wife before we left the states and it makes me so happy. It was such a great time and I will never forget it, I hope it's not too long before we all meet again.

Vodsel - I do feel so lucky, and I definitely do have great support, thank you for the kind words.

deepacceptance - Haha, it's good to know I'm not the only one! I think that was one key factor in me joining the nexus too: to know that I'm not alone in all this, there is so much power in sharing experiences. Thank you.

cyb - Like I said to Vodsel I do feel so lucky, it hasn't been an easy move out here but OM, me and the dog are making it through!

Jin, Red Eclipse and DeMenTed - Thank you thank you thank you!!!

I would also like to say at this point a big thank you to Pandora
, for all the support you sent me recently via OM, I really appreciate your kindness and compassion.

I'm off now: dragging OM out to a salsa class because it's my birthday and I get to choose! Thanks again all of you, see you soon

Welcome friend